~~~ Save the motherboard for orniments! ~~~

Ed's List of Uses for Your Old, Used Computer

1. Tear out the guts, cut a slit in top and use it for an interoffice suggestion box.

2. Use it as the largest desktop picture frame in your office. Put in lots of photos of your family and then place in on your desk in such a way as to keep the boss from seeing what you are really doing.

3. Use it as a false front for your home safebox. Put in your cash, jewelry and bonds. When thieves break into your house and see the computer is last year's model, they won't take it.

4. Use it as a paperweight during hurricane season.

5. Use it as a Pinata for adult parties. Stuff it with party favors and then take turns smashing it open with a sledge hammer.

6. Use it as a doorstop for those stupid self-locking restroom doors at Service Stations.

7. Tear out the guts, wear it on your head and go as Bill Gates to a Halloween party.

8. Inject it with every known computer virus known to man and send it to your worst enemy for a birthday present.

9. Stuff it with beer and ice and sneak it into football stadiums that make you buy your beer there at exorbitant prices.

10. Take it all apart and then glue it back together again in weird, bizarre ways. Sell it to a museum for ten thousand dollars as "pop art".