g=grandma, h=henrietta, b=uncle brad
Grandma: Hi, howdy y'all, my names grandma and this is my grandaughter Henrietta...
Henrietta: Hi Grandma!
G: Hi, then here's my favorite nephew and uncle to Henrietta, uncle brad
(John Rhys Davies) It really does'nt go with your hair
H: Where?
G: You see, uncle brad is loco in the caboco.
H: Grandma, I didn't know you could speak spanish!
G: I can speak many languages.
H: I know you can grandma.
G:Now you wackin' frackin little shut up allright?
H: Grandma's talkin dirty!
G: Now what would your father say?
H: He'd roll over in his grave if he were alive today.
G:If he were alive today....(music starts playing in background)Uh... Uncle brad's doin one of his wierd dances again.
H: I didn't know uncle brad knew ballet!
B: but I DID take ballet!
H: So did I, I was the purple thing, the jewel, yeah the jewel.
G: You see, the thing is that both of them are real crazy.
H:I am not Grandma!
B: I AM! HAHAHAHA!!!!!
H:(bumps head) Ow!
G: Are you OK?
H:Yeah Grandma, my head hurts!
G:That's what you get for talkin to Sam Hill that way.
H: You are mean Grandma, that wasn't Sam Hill, that was just an old mudman.
G: What...Did...You...call...him?
H:I dunno waht he was doin with the pigs, but he sure looked like one.
H: (QFG music starts playing again) UNCLE BRAD, GO AWAY!
G: He's in the carribean again. Well anyways, I can't wait to go to gay paris, it's just so purdy.
B: Gay where? What!
G: Allright, gay Paris is what us sophisticated hillfolk call paris.
H: You ain't sophisticated grandma, you're just an old hillrat!
G: Hey! I went to second grade with bill clinton!
H: Well he ain't sophisticated either!
G:Be quiet, don't talk about our president that way! You voted for him!
H: I did not Grandma! I ain't old enough to vote! It's all your fault.
B: (steals microphone) Moo ha ha! I have the mike! I have the power to control you!
H: I got the conch!
G:ANYWAYS! Thats why I call it gay paris. It means the happy paris.
H: It makes me feel so happy!
B: I feel happpyyyyy!
G: Anyways I can't wait to go there with my little John Paul(smacking noises).
H: What about Mr. Sam Hill?
G: He's takin' care of you.
H: What about grandpa?
G:You're takin' care of him!
H: I don't wanna take care of grandpa!
G: He's takin' care of the rats in the basement been there since '76.
H: He's takin care of his of moonshine.
G: Thats why we all get woohoo.
H: He's been givin' too much whiskey to the cow, he''s gonna die!
G: Who, me or the cow?
H: Both!
H: You ARE a cow grandma!
G:I am the mafiosa.
g&h: Homicide, homicide, we may see murder, yeah!
B: MURDER!!!!!
H&G: AAAHHH!Uncle brad's gonna kill us!
Don't ask what a skutching bee is 'cause I don't know.
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