THE SADISTIC ORTHODONTIST THEORY

Have you ever had braces? Has your orthodontist ever made those little metal wires in your mouth so tight that it hurt you to eat for weeks upon end?? Do you ever wonder why they keep smiling at you like they do? Well, a recent study of mine proves something that thousands of victims have never even thought of. These so called "orthodontists" are really sadistic people. This is a peculiar form of sadism, the practitioners of it enjoy inflicting pain only in the mouth area. This as follows is the TRUE history of orthodontics. One day, one of these demented dentists made up this huge scheme, and what a perfect one it was indeed. He called it orthodontics and disguised it as a form of dentistry, a practice! And his foul plot worked! Each year thousands of hapless people fall victim to these torturers. They spend MONEY for it too! It's all one big cover up! In the words of one wise person, "they are trying to take over the world. See, all the braces in people's heads are controlled by a main switch. Flick of the switch, millions of willing slaves throughout the world! HA HA HA HA ::evil laughter::" Don't let yourself be fooled! Next time you have an orthodontic "appointment", spare yourself from being a helpless victim and go to Mcdonalds  instead.

                                       REVERSE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

                                                               *disclaimer I don't know if this really exists or if it works, but heck I sound SMART for once

          Many people have heard of reverse psychology, but few have heard of reverse reverse psychology. Heres how it works. When someone uses reverse psychology they say, for example to a small child,(whom they do not want to take a cookie) take the chocolate chip cookie. Now this child knows better and might not take the cookie...but then again he might. You never know with these kind of things. Anyways, so if you say to that child, don't take the cookie, he won't take the cookie, becuase he will think, I thought they wanted me to take the cookie when they really actually DIDN'T want me to take the cookie therefore the child will become confused and run away from the cookie jar and never want to take another cookie again. Confused? Good. Your not supposed to know how these things work, it is only for us to know and you to find out MuhahA.

FEAR OF CHINESE PEOPLE THEORY

I have a sister who recently has taken up a new hobby with her other friend; making fun of Chinese people. No one knows exacly why, at lunch and in the halls you will occasionaly see them bowing to each other and calling each ither names such as chu-chang etc. I have recently unlocked the secret to this abnormal behavior. My sister and her friend are both Sinophobiacs, which is the fear of Chinese and the Chinese culture. You know how it has been said that people make fun of other to hide their own hurt? Well this is similar. THEY ARE BOTH MAKING FUN OF THE CHINESE PEOPLE BECUASE THEY ARE AFRAID OF THEM!! haha! DIAGNOSIS COMPLETE!

POLICEMEN AND FIRE AND RESCUE THEORY

I recently have observed something interesting that I thought very important to make a note of. As we were driving down the highway, I noticed a police car up ahead of us. Then all of a sudden, there was almost a mini traffic jam! I wondered why everyone was going so slow and then it hit me, none of them wanted a speeding ticket and would all be going 80 miles an hour if it wasn't for that policeman. Eventually my parents pull over because of the potential danger. We drive on and a little further down the road, we notice that same policeman with a car pulled over. He was just WAITING for someone to speed by him unaware. I could tell he was just loving it. It works the same way with the fire trucks and ambulances. Its the law that you have to move out of the way for them, and since you really can't see inside ambulances, and you don't really know where the fire is most of the time, you NEVER REALLY know if they are actually carrying a patient or going to an emergency! They could just be like hey guys, wanna go for a joy ride? And then go flashing down the road, cracking up and having fun becuase of all the people who HAVE to move out of the way just for them. Most of the time they probably ARE going to an emergency, but I am just stating, that you neevverr knnowwww. SO next time you see one of these vehicles going down the road, be sure to get a good look at them.

                                                                            have a KNIFE day