GOOD VIBRATIONS
#63
I
dedicate this piece to Bridget. I love
our talks and all the advice! And I hope
you find a lot of satisfaction J
“I had the best orgasm ever last
night!” Kris shouts eagerly, bursting
past me as I stand in my front doorway.
“Hi, I’m okay, thanks,” I mutter
dryly, following her at a far slower pace into the living room.
“Seriously, Justin should be
proclaimed clit queen. I had multiple
orgasms! We just kept going all
night. I think I’ve been ruined for the
rest of mankind.”
I grin despite myself, but then
sigh.
“Do I really have to hear this now,
Kris? Matt has been gone on his stupid
family trip for ten days now. I’m so
horny I’m almost ready to fuck you.”
Kris grins mischievously and starts
rummaging through her purse.
“Justin works at a vibrator
store. Look what I got for free! It’s for you!”
I pick up the unusually heavy thong
thrust at me.
“Vibrating underwear?”
“I know,” Kris sighs happily, “Isn’t
he sweet?’
Apparently flowers and chocolate are
outdated. Soon chocolate dildos will
replace chocolate hearts on Valentine’s Day.
Who needs a wedding ring when one has the ultimate sex toy?
“That’s one word for it,” I look
closer at the purple thong I’m holding.
I have to admit, it is a little bit ingenious. Just a little bit.
“Here’s the remote control!” Kris tosses it at me.
Remote control?
Of course, I should have known.
I press the button and the thong
sends a smooth pulse through my fingers.
I press it again and the rhythm changes.
“So,” I look up at Kris, an eyebrow
raised, but she is leaning back on the couch, eyes half closed.
“Kris?”
No answer.
“Kris!”
She jerks up, a grin on her face.
“You’re wearing a pair right now!”
Her grin widens.
I hit the off button and she pouts.
“I can’t believe I was just giving
you a hand job,” I shake my head in exasperation.
Does this count as cheating on
Matt? Because if I’m
going to cheat, I should really just go all out. Damn horniness.
“Come on…. Put them on! We’ll go shopping and each have
a remote control. It’ll be fun!”
“Kris, I’m not wearing that
out. I like penises, not vibrating
thongs.”
“Well, should I call up Josh
then?” Kris asks slyly, looking up at me
expectantly.
Do not kill her. Do not kill her.
Do not maim either.
“I’m sure he would fly in from
Could I get away with breaking a few
of her bones?
The phone rings, interrupting my
glare. As I turn to leave the room Kris
leaps up and grabs the remote control, flicking on her underwear with a deft
movement.
You’d think she masturbates a lot.
You’d most likely think right.
“Who was it?” Kris asks, smiling contentedly as I come back
into the room and sink down on the couch in frustration.
I stare at the remote control.
“Fine,” she sighs, turning it off,
“You’re so boring.”
“It was Matt.”
“Ooooooh, lover
boy! Did you have phone sex?”
“They got bumped by the airline;
he’ll be gone an extra 36 hours.”
Kris bursts into laughter, rolling
on the floor. Of course she thinks it is
funny, she’s getting action.
“You still want to go
shopping?” I ask.
“Yes,” she croaks out, struggling to
get herself under control and stand up.
“Let’s go, you buy. Here.”
I stare at her for a moment and then
grab the proffered thong and head towards the nearest bathroom.
“Let me just change, I’ll be right
back.”