MABEL'S ORACLE

Here, I will proceed to share with you all, pearls of wisdom. Secrets that will guarantee and warrant happiness and longevity. MY happiness and longevity, that is. Hehe…

By the way, this background is really hideous, eh? ^_^

  1. FACT:
    Be happy.
    If only we wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is difficult, since we think them happier than they are.

    SHOULD COMMON SENSE PREVAIL :
    I am definitely happier than you.

  2. FACT:
    Money cannot buy you everything.
    You can have the husk of everything for money, but never the kernal.

    SHOULD LOGIC DICTATE :
    Give me all your money and make ME happy.

  3. MYTH:
    Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

    TRUTH:
    Always be a lot kinder than is necessary. To me.

    APPLICATION:
    All your fat bank accounts would be nice though a lifetime supply of chocolates, candies, junk food and soft drinks are also welcomed. So are fluffy teddy bears, completed homework for my next few years of school, Bill Gates' shares at Microsoft, someone to keep my bedroom all spick and span……I could go on and on…

  4. MYTH:
    Brush your teeth 3 times a day.

    TRUTH:
    There are a few variations of the truth (however eccentric it may sound)concerning this myth. However, I will only proceed to list out 1.
    Brush your teeth once every 3 years. Don't ask me why, but my guess is that the putrid smell (a result of your decomposing gums and so) emitted from your mouth will ward off germs, bacteria etc.
    I, for one, unquestionably encourage this habit as never again will your teacher ask you to read aloud from your text book or any other reading material. Nor will you have to suffer the humiliation of incorrectly answering a question under the watchful eye of your sneering classmates.
    Come to think of it, even the bully in the next class would be at your mercy -- the next Hitler here you come … so what are you waiting for?

  5. MYTH:
    Change your toothbrush every 3 months / 4 times per year.

    TRUTH:
    Change your toothbrush every 30 years. We Malaysians are hard hit by the worst economic downfall in recent years. As such, this cost-effective practice would contribute a sizable amount towards Malaysia's speedy recovery. Not only would you be able to call yourself a patriot, you would also have some money leftover, enough for you to buy more sweets thereby hastening the decaying process.

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