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Single parenting can be tough, real tough. My children were grown when I became a single parent, so I didn't have to go through what most single parents go through when they separate or divorce. It still affected my children, even though they were on their own. I don't think it matters how old your children are, they still go through the emotions when their parents divorce or separate.
I would like to share an article I found in the Trenton Times Newspaper. It is called "21 Ways to Keep it in Check." Just twenty-one different things you can do to keep from being exhausted or having your time management destroyed, and to keep your emotions and your stress level under control. Good luck and keep yourself healthy and happy!
1. | Don't waste time regretting failures or fretting over the things you don't do. |
2. | To assure a good night's rest, plan your next day before retiring. |
3. | For less morning madness, dress toddlers and infants in comfortable clothes at bedtime that can be worn the next day. This Army tip affords extra morning time for cuddling and hugging instead of racing around, and besides, kids couldn't care less about designer bunny pajamas. |
4. | Learn to priortize and compromise. Do the most important things first after listing tasks. Are clean clothes more important than a floor you can eat off of? Then skip the mopping and do a load of laundry instead. |
5. | Don't clutter your life with possessions. Scale down and simplify. You'll be teaching good values, and simple living is very in right now. |
6. | Take office skills home. Keep a workplace cleared for action and set up a good filing system. In fact, instead of a telephone table or night-stand, invest in a cheap, sleek black two-drawer file cabinet. Place a plant on top and it goes with anything. Be sure to label a few file folders for your kid's stuff. |
7. | Don't think about work on weekends. Spend time on yourself and with your child. You'll be more productive when Monday comes around, and will feel less guilty. |
8. | Never compare your family to others. Accept your family makeup as normal. |
9. | Don't try to be a mother and father to your child. Just be the best possible parent. |
10. | Learn how to ask others for help. |
11. | Practice saying no. |
12. | Delegate whenever possible. Preschoolers can begin doing chores such as picking up clothes, sweeping, even setting the table and helping to fold laundry. |
13. | Master time with a $5 timer. Use it for the next five tips. |
14. | Concentrate on only one thing for a set period of time. When the timer buzzes, rings or beeps, it's time to go to the next task. |
15. | Give your child undivided attention, about 25 to 30 minutes every evening. Set the timer and let him or her know that this is their time and that when the bell goes off, your're going to do something else. Turn on the phone answering machine and allow no distractions. |
16. | Give yourself private time every day, too. Set the timer for approximately 20 minutes and relax, scream, exercise, meditate, cry, laugh or write in your journal. Let your child know this is your time and allow no interruptions. Be sure young children are in a safe place with safe activities. |
17. | Giving in to every whim does not replace an absent parent. Single parents guilty of buying that extra toy or candy bar are only spoiling their children and are asking for more time-consuming battles over control. |
18. | You are the parent and your word is final. Although single parents enjoy more closeness with their children, avoid being too much of a friend. Never make your child replace an adult's role. |
19. | Find other adults with whom you can relate. They don't have to be single parents, just friends that can offer support or peers who share your interests. |
20. | Although it's best not to put off what can be done right away, when overloaded, ask yourself what will happen if the job doesn't get done immediately. If the answer isn't the end of the world, chances are you're too tired or stressed and should save this task for another time. |
21. | Practice the idea of being in the "here and now." For example, even chores such as cleaning your child's room can result in quality time if you both allow yourself to enjoy doing it. If you don't know how to do this, try this Zen tip: "Act" as if you are happy. Eventually you'll catch on. |
The above article was published by by Andrea Engber, co-author of "The Complete Single Mother: Reassuring Answers to Your Most Challenging Concerns," and editor of Single-MOTHER, a nationwide publication about single parenting.