     Achilles Adgonim Big Red Dinah Galileo G.I. Jane LlamaFett Moonbug Pinky and the Brain Prometheus Quesita Ridge Roxy Rubber Ducky Shmitty Vole Zuka   
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This is where all of the old updates are kept. Here in the spooooky vault. Enjoy. Note: The Random Quotes aren't kept here, because they never really change much on the original board. La la la. Tee-hee! Update from 11/3/98  Yes, it's just another friendly reminder of the Sacred Plunger and its presence in all of our lives. As long as we treat it with respect, it will continue to bless us day by day. Hmmm.....maybe we haven't been doing that lately....maybe that's why our water's been undrinkable for the past day or so! Auuuugh! We need to get in the Plunger's good graces again! Someone....go buy some Lysol, some Spic 'N' Span, and one of those little blue "2000 Flushes" things. We shall sacrifice them on the Altar of Bathroom Cleanliness and Funny Noises in repentance. Or something. Ahhhh...epiphanies galore.....mmmm...
Um....I can't remember anything worth writing down. Did anything really HAPPEN this week? I haven't the faintest clue. We ate. We slept. Occasionally, we remembered to breathe, but once in a while, we forgot. He he heee---the doctor said I might have brained my damage, but I don't ever trust those medical-smartsy-types. He he he heeeee! (*Sound of Vole walking face-first into a wall*) IN OTHER NEWS: There really isn't any "other" news either, except that we are all SICK and TIRED of our stupid classes! On the quarter system, classes would be over and this would be Finals Week....but on this dreaded semester system, we have another WHOLE MONTH to go through....boo hoo hoo hoo hoooooooo! And the University then wonders why there have been acts of arson in the Residence Halls....it's all from stress, I tell you. Which brings us to our next section:
Do you feel stress? Sure, we all do! Leading psychologists say that stress is caused when, and I quote, "Like, when life is too hard and stuff. Oooh, my head hurts." Exactly! Why put ourselves through this kind of torture, when we can easily relieve our stress in a reasonable fashion? Well, we here at the Vole Institute of Stress, Stress, and More Stress just have one suggestion: Whenever you think of all those papers to write, programs to fix, books to read, and of all those familial, roommate, and relationship troubles that just keep piling and piling and piling and piling will absolutely no time left over for you to feasibly resolve them all, leaving you in financial, academic, emotional, and social ruin, just keep in mind:
Thank-you. SLAP! Thanks. I needed that. Oh-ho-ho-ho! I forgot to mention that all of the old updates have their own special page now! Did you miss an edition of the Plethora Times (a.k.a. Vole Spewage Monthly)? Go to the Old News section to read it! La la la la la! And so ends the update for this month. (Whew!)
Update from 10/7/98
We're about to have a fun weekend! Tra la la la laaaaaa! All those caught not having fun shall be lobbed with bricks of cheese. And that's a promise. So, have fun....or else.
NERDITY TEST SCORES
Yep, yep, yep--people are once again taking the Nerdity Test. It's an old tradition, dating all the way back to the days when Cro-Magnon Nerd roamed the plains, searching for something to hack. Here are the scores collected so far, listed from highest to lowest (note: not all of the scores are from Plethora members, but we really don't care): That's all of the scores that I can remember and/or guess at right now...if your score is wrong, I'm sure you'll tell me about it (which should probably make your score go higher, if you're arguing about it, tee hee hee). So.....there they are. Rah.
There really isn't much going on....oh, did everyone hear that Meth's TB test turned out all right? Isn't it great to know that our dear friend doesn't have tuberculosis? Yesh. I knew you were all thinking that right now. Because I'm psychic, that's why.
Oh, yes: It's blue, and it's cool (I'm assuming), and it's name will be Buttons. So spoke the mighty Roxy, upon her pillar of car-buying fire. Just picture it. Another thing: Adgonim got a tutoring job, and has an interview for a second job next week. She also bought some fancy shoes. Mmmmmm.....fancy....mmmmm.
So.... what shall we talk about next? I haven't the faintest clue. I wish I could take a nice, hot bath right now.......this is probably a sign that it's time to log off. Well, have a spiffy day and remember to say "Happy Joy!" to ducks, squirrels, circus carney, random pebbles, and little bits of dust floating in the air, as well as anyone else you see. Just to make sure they don't feel left out.
Tra la la,
Shmitty Vole
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Well spank my toes and call me Bak May!