"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the
hydrant."
-- Unknown
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best
friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as
conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used
to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's
importance, everyone should have a dog that
will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy
licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender,
your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last
beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy
of such devotion."
-- Unknown
"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
-- Sun Microsystems
" What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."
-- Unknown
" E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only to be used for company business."
-- Unknown
"This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
-- Unknown
"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
-- Unknown
"Don't squat with your spurs on."
-- Unknown
"The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning."
-- Unknown
"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."
-- Unknown
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment."
-- Unknown
"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket."
-- Unknown
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just
don't have film."
-- Unknown
"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."
-- Unknown
"Please note that all human intercourse consists merely of making noises and doing things."
-- Diderot
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."
-- Unknown
"Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?"
-- Unknown
"The hell with world peace. Visualize using your bloody turn signal."
-- Unknown
"He just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."
-- Unknown
"I never worry when I get lost... I just change where I want to go."
-- Unknown
"When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty."
-- Unknown
"Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?"
-- Steven Wright
"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it."
-- Steven Wright
"If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?"
-- Steven Wright
Engineering Quote
"This project will use the metric system every inch of the way."
-- Unknown
My Favorite Bumper Sticker
"Your kid may be an Honor student, but you're still an idiot!"