Rules of the road -
Travelling in India is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacleand experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious,mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable - and, when you are on the roads,extremely dangerous.
Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are publishedfor the first time in English.
ARTICLE I The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.
ARTICLE II Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste
system.The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to: cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars,camels,light trucks, buffalo, Jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles,scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.
ARTICLE III All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the
maxim:to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat.This is the Indian drivers' mantra.
ARTICLE IV Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, ie to oncoming truck,
"I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die".In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic).Single blast (casual) means "I have seen someone out of India's 870 millionwhom I recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at this speedcould go through my windscreen)" or "I have not blown my horn forseveral minutes."Trucks and buses (IV,2,a): All horn signals have the same meaning,viz, "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have nointention of stopping, even if I could."This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps (insouciant).Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedencein Article II above
ARTICLE V All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until
the last possible moment.
ARTICLE VI In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall
weargarlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.
ARTICLE VII Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority.So
has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.Lane discipline (VII,1): All Indian traffic at all times and irrespectiveof direction of travel shall occupy the centre ofRoundabouts: India has noroundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in themiddle of crossroads have no traffic management function. Any otherimpression should be ignored.
ARTICLE IX Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to
overtakeevery other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has justovertaken you.Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as inthe face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in themiddle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should beallowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing - and one inchin the case of bicycles or pedestrians.
ARTICLE X Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.
ARTICLE XI Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.
ARTICLE XII The 10th incarnation of God was as an articulated tanker