Cool jokes Page: 1
Deep Trouble
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon
surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed."
There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your
feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the life out of the chief. He stands above the lifeless body,
breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces.
The voice booms out again: "Okay . . . . NOW you're screwed."
 
Work Place Hazardous Materials
 Material Safety Data Sheet

Element:
                                             Woman

Symbol:
                                             WO

Discoverer:
                                              Adam

Atomic Mass:
                         Accepted as 118lbs but known to vary from 110 to 550lbs.

Occurance:

Physical Properties:

   1.Surfase usually covered with paint film.
   2.Boils at nothing, freezes without warning.
   3.Melts if given special treatment.
   4.Bitter if incorrectly used.
   5.Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
   6.Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Chemical Properties:

   1.Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones.
   2.Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
   3.May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no know reason.
   4.Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol.
   5.Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Uses:

   1.Hightly ornamental, especially to sports cars.
   2.Can be a great aid to relaxation.

Tests:

   1.Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
   2.Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Hazards:

   1.Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
   2.Illegal to own more than one.
 

 
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