Resolution
A bunch of time has passed since the previous chapter was written. In that time, much has been resolved. My wife has met Precious. Yes, Precious and her children were in town and I invited them to stop by our house. The meeting was cordial, but a little strained.
I have attended many more LG Camps and learned quite a great deal about LGs in general and myself in particular. The opportunity for self-examination has led me to some interesting conclusions that may, or may not, be shared by other LGs, and this is as good a place as any to sketch out what I have learned.
Many, if not most, of the LGs I have encountered either on LG Chat or in real life attempt to keep their LG "persona" compartmentalized away from their male adult self and vice versa. I was puzzled about this for a long time, wondering what was the reason for this arbitrary distinction and whether it was ultimately healthy or unhealthy for the LG's psychological health. I concluded fairly early on that this separation was not healthy and did not benefit either side of the individual. Discovering the reason took a lot longer.
My conclusion is that the unspoken reason for the separation is the remaining uneasiness an LG retains about the fact that she chooses to be an LG. It is a form of emotional protection justified by the need to retain physical protection from embarrassment, loss of job or such were the individual's LG side become public knowledge. While the need for physical protection is well justified, given what most LGs perceive to be the public's perception of them, the generalization of physical protection to emotional separation is not justified.
Forcing an arbitrary separation between these two facets of an individual's personality is ultimately self-destructive as it denies the maxim that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Integrating these facets together into one seamless personality softens the roughness of one side and provides the other with a firmer ground on which to stand.
Many LGs argue that their LG side likes to do LG things which are completely separate and totally inconsistent with what their other side would choose. If the two sides are as inconsistent as several would have me believe, then the individual is truly suffering from multiple personality disorder and is in need of assistance. However, this is not the case for virtually every LG I have met in person. What is happening is that the LG has arbitrarily constrained the universe of what LGs are permitted to enjoy, barring all of the other pursuits they enjoy when not in "LG mode" and totally denying the reality enjoyed by "real" little girls whose world they are endeavoring to emulate.
Real little girls, i.e., genetic or non-Y-chromosome possessing girls, enjoy many different things. I personally knew girls who enjoyed taking cars apart and helping their dads fix them. Other girls loved fishing or contact sports, while still others enjoyed chess or attending sports competitions as spectators. Likewise, I know boys who enjoy playing with dolls, sewing, housework, baking and ironing. Is it not ironic that the activities society sees as "feminine" have males in leadership roles, e.g., fashion and doll designers, famous chefs, etc.
Each individual is different and, more than likely, has different interests. These interests are what makes people interesting. For this reason, I see absolutely nothing inconsistent with an individual painting Easter eggs while loving to race Formula 1 cars; nothing unusual with a computer designer who loves baking pies, or a plumber taking ballet lessons. In many ways, these "inconsistencies" contribute to build a stronger, more healthy and well-functioning, more compassionate, single integrated personality.
Another argument put forward to justify the separation is the whole issue of clothing choice. Many LGs say, each side has its own wardrobe and that distinction is important. I only wish to point out that most individuals have different wardrobes for different occasions. An accountant, comfortable in a suit and tie for business, is probably going to wear swim or resort wear to the beach. Clothing choice is usually constrained by appropriateness to the occasion and, over time, we each choose the manner in which our own personality tunes those constraints. We may mix and match from both sides of the aisle as required. LGs with very large feet may have to get men's cotton socks, but they are free to trim them with lace, if they choose. While we are totally free to choose what to wear when we are alone, at all other times we are evaluated against unspoken standards of appropriateness and this even extends to LG Camp. Unless, of course, we are willing to risk a raised eyebrow or a puzzled look.
Thus, I reject out of hand the shield afforded by a division of the self, whether it be called brother, guardian, second self, male side or whatever. End of story on this issue! I now need to go back through this site and root out any residue of this shield.
Since the previous chapter was written, I have added a number of items to my wardrobe, started a doll collection that has blossomed into a ongoing hobby I am proud to call a major part of my life. I continue to wear lace and eyelet trimmed socks whenever possible, dictated by what is appropriate to the situation. I got some very nice black socks with wonderful black battenburg lace from Nordstom's that are perfect with blue business suit and black shoes. And, no, my wife has yet to be completely comfortable with Taffy's fashion sense although I believe she is noticing that other people really don't seem to care!
Last Update: 12/28/2003
Web Author: Taffy@Cheerful.Com
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