DEAR MR./MRS.CITIZEN:

Well,I guess you have me figured out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you have placed me in. I'm stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified,grouped and always typical. I am the lousy cop. Unfortunately, the reverse isnt true. I can never figure you out. From birth you teach your children that I am a person to beware of. Then, you are shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy...the criminal.

You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something wrong.

You take an hour for lunch and several coffee breaks each day, then point me out as a loafer if you see me have just one cup.

You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interupting my meals at noon with your troubles.

You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and all of a sudden I'm picking on you.

You know all the traffic laws, but never got one single ticket you deserved.
You shout "Abuse of authority" if you see me driving fast to an emergency call, but raise nine kinds of hell if I take more than 30 seconds responding to yours.

You call it "part of my job" if someone hits me , but yell "police brutality" if I strike back.

You would never think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth,or your doctor now to take out an appendix. But you are always willing to give me pointers on how to be a police officer.

You talk to me in a manner and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but you expect me to stand there and take your verbal abuse without batting an eye.

You cry, "Something has to be done about crime!" but you can't be bothered or take the time to get involved.

You have no use for me whatsoever. But it's OK for me to change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the back seat of a patrol car while enroute to the hospitol, or save your son's life with CPR, or even forsake time with my family working long hours of overtime trying to find your lost daugther.

So, Dear citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book. But you never stop for a moment and realize that your property, your family and maybe even your life might someday depend on one thing...me

Respectfully,
-A Lousy Cop