FUNNY SAYINGS

These are a bunch of sayings I found that I thought I'd share with you

Men are like fine wine.. and it's a woman's job to pick them as grapes, stomp on them, and throw them into a dark celler until they mature enough to be something you'd like to have dinner with. Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; the become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiney. never ruin an apology with an excuse Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress I can't be conceited becuase conceit is an imperfection and I am perfect I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure Life is tough and then you die If all else fails read the instructions If you're going to do it, do it right A journey without any obsticles usually leads nowhere You can not acheive the impossible without attempting the absurd Love isnt love until you give it away It's your right to be stupid, but it doesnt mean you should be Without pain and suffering you have no choice Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused Hard work has a future payoff, layzieness pays off now Men are like roses, watch out for all the pricks The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese I wish i were a glow worm, a glow worm is never glum becuase how could you be unhappy when the sun shines out your ass Men are proof that women have a sense of humor Remember your unique, just like everyone else You're just jelous becuase the voices only talk to ME If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then you're aiming to high Behind every succesful man there is a woman, behind every unsucessful man there are 2 If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit Men are like outhouses, always taken or full of shit I've lowered my expectations to the point where they have already been met To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid Life is like a straw, it sucks I tried being normal once... I didnt like it Minds are like parachutes, the only work when open I wish I was Barbie, that bitch has EVERYTHING I can go from zero to bitch in 2.2 seconds Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition He who laughs last thinks slowest Guys have feelings too.. but like who cares? (More to come soon)