There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble. "Well," his therapist responded, "if you want to get the girl you'll just have to be
a little boulder!"
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Your nose is in the scenter of your face.
When the glassblower inhaled he got a pane in the stomach.
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
Sometimes a pencil sharpener is needed in order to make a good point.
Things made in Australia are high koala-ty.
Britain is a wet place since the queen has had a long reign.
Show me someone in denial ... and I'll show you a person in Egypt up to their ankles.
In a Scandinavian race, the last Lapp crossed the Finnish line.
Sign on a music store window: 'Come in, pick out a drum, then beat it!
A music store had a small sign which read: Bach in a Minuet.
Can a piece of antique clothing be uncomfortable? Of corset can.
Donating items to sit on is called chairity.A bank manager who was also a high jumper spent most of his time in the vault.
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