M P e r s o n a H a i B l u e s

I am an African American/Caribean woman who has suffered from hair problems all my life. I could say that my problem is my hair because it is absolutely rebellious to grow. It has these seasons where it acquires a certain kind of spider web type of texture. It becomes irreversibly dry and it falls out regardless of my desperate efforts to save the feeble stresses. However, my problem is society because it cannot accept my kinky hair. I never really learned to take care of my hair in its natural state because the acceptable solution has always been to alter its natural texture. But, my hair is as stubborn as I; it rebells against any variation from the way god made it.

I have tried everything, the hot comb (only my mother had the magic fingers to make my hair thrive and grow with the hot comb. All the salon professionals put things in it, against my will, that make it dry so that it falls out.), the relaxer(that never worked. Every time I relax my hair, it falls out in two weeks no matter how much professional care it gets), the curls (that worked on the condition that I did nothing else with my hair), and the braids(that was alright until solonists started braiding my hair too tightly, getting rude at me when I politely asked them to try to braid my hair looser, and displaying poor customer service). But nothing works on a long term basis.

Right now, I have a three inch afro that I corn roll at night and wear under a wig during the day (I know. I know). Don't laugh girls. This not funny. It's the cheapest and most stress free way that I can wear my hair. Afterall, it is socially acceptable. I hide my kinks under some dead folk's straight hair so as not to offend society--for it seems that my natural kinks are offensive to cooperate America. I don't know what they think, but I suppose that it portrays a statement of my blackness. But, such statements are not acceptable in cooperate America. To Succeed in Cooperate America, a black person must accept him/her self as "colorless". By being 'colorless' we acquire the coorperate identity and become the neoslaves or the new phase of slavery.

So, while, there seems to be no solution for my hair problem, the solution has always been there. First, my hair is healthiest in its natural state. Some of you sisters out there might remember that the first time you ever had a nervous break-down from because of hair breakage was during your early or pre-teenage years when you first got a relaxer. Others of you might have been the lucky ones who ended up teasing and scorning the poor souls who had to endure relaxer disaster. I went through the disaster erra and so did many of my family members. My relatives got over it. Eventually, their hair got use to the change and grew back. I never got over it, however. I have this thing about my hair being relaxed. It feels limp and deader than hair. It feels unatural and it makes me anxious.

My mind is more at ease when my hair chemical free. My only reason for adding chemicals in my hair in the first place is to avoid social pressure and to augment social acceptance. But, I love the feel of the heavy grains of my nappy hair. It feels more natural and more me.

Generally, our society does not like black women wearing their hair in its natural state. I have been told by fellow sisters that I was dirty, negligent, and lazy because I refused to perm my hair. I have found myself anxious about how I should wear my hair before an interview because there's always the fear that I would not be accepted as socially presentable with kinky hair especially since some of the members of my own race does not accept me for my naps. And off course, we never know these things because people would not dare tell us why we weren't hired. They find the most common excuses for that. It's either we don't have enough experience despite the fact that we might have over 10 years in the job market, or that they don't call back. Well, of course there may be other factors beside the nappy hair. But, we can't help but wonder.

Nevertheless, this site is for every woman who are presently or considering wearing their kinky hair in its natural state. I have and am gathering resources to promote black hair growth and health the natural way. Together we can work out solutions to solving our hair blues and to be able to wear our kinks proudly and naturally.

I welcome all comments and suggestions. Send your own anecdotes that I can publish at this site.



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