Archive: Sure
Disclaimer: Not mine- owned by Lucas. You happy now?
Feedback: Oh dear lord PLEASE! I need to know if there is an interest in my continuing this fic.
Notes: Inspired by the Transiberian Orchestra's "Beethoven's Last Dance." If you've never heard the TSO you are missing out on something big. It's one of those works where the more you listen to it the more you love it. All Lyrics are taken from the aforementioned CD.
~*~*~*~*~*
You can live your life in a thousand ways
But it all comes down to that single day
When you realize what you regret
What you can't reclaim but you can't forget
If I could just fall back into my life
And find you there inside this night
And let eternity just drift away
~*~*~*~*~*Today was the single most embarrassing day of my entire life, bar none. It was the kind of day where I made a mistake so monumental the entire reality of it still hasn't hit me. I felt as if I had been walking in a surrealistic nightmare ever since. My brain knows the event happened; yet it still can't connect it to the linear path of my life.
I know it will hit me tomorrow. The memory will fall in line with all my other memories and I will have to deal with the consequences of my actions. But tonight, it's still a gentle hop out of time. Giving my actions of completing the day such as showering and brushing my teeth a satiric quality.
Amazing what telling your boss you love him can do to your life.
As the overworked and severely underpaid secretary to the republic military, I have quite a few bosses. Good secretaries are hard to find so instead of paying to search for them, the republic gets one good one and farms them out to everyone who needs them. The republic would rather spend good money on equipment for soldiers then on secretaries.
I can understand that. I would rather have one more boy in black come home to his mother then have someone to eat with at lunch. Not like I'd have much time to eat with someone during chow time. Mostly I do one handed filing while bolting a nutrition ration. But I digress.
The point is that any general, who happens to be in town at base and in need of things, comes to me to help them restock their ships. I am given ships leaky as sieves, running on fumes, and crew members nearly eating their own shoes and I have until their crew's appointed shore leave is over to help them get back into bristol fashion.
I was selected for my job because I respect authority and powerful positions, but I am in no way awed by it. I've been known to tell Admirals where exactly they can stick their urgent requests in such graphic detail they stop and take notes for the next time they need to verbally dress down their troops. I've been told my description of Gungan Mating practices has been made a standard amongst the lieutenant set.
However, there is one general I grew to genuinely respect. That was the Jedi General, Obi-wan Kenobi. He was truly dedicated. He cared about his troops and inspired loyalty in them so great, they'd follow him to the end of the galaxy and beyond. In time, I grew to feel that way too.
We often worked together. He was frequently sent to the front lines and just as frequently, sent back for repair and resupply. It was a standard joke between us that when ever a delay happened in his getting restocked that it was me putting a hold on things. The reasons for my doing so ranged from bribery from his troops for extended shore leave to the fact I had a sweetheart on one of his ships.
He was charming, intelligent, courageous and handsome. I'm only human. I am just as vulnerable to beauty, charm and virtue as the next girl. Probably more so given the only man in my life since I joined the army two years ago has been Ralph, my pet fish.
Ralph is a good room mate, but he's not talkative and doesn't like to cuddle.
I wasn't planning on ever saying anything to him. I knew whatever I said would sound absolutely moronic and I would wake up hating myself in the morning. I found out exactly how stupid I sounded just two hours ago. The full extent of my idiocy is so monumental; my mind hasn't quite wrapped around it yet.
And it's a guarantee that I will wake up tomorrow thoroughly hating myself.
Just then my comm rang. I hesitated a moment, staring at it. I was expecting a call to eventually arrive telling me I have been dishonorably dismissed from duty, however I wasn't expecting it quite so soon.
Always a follower of the idea that in the long run it hurts less if you rip the bandage right off at once instead of slowly, I sit down and turn it on. To my both dismay and relief, it's Anakin Skywalker, his padawan.
We had struck up a kind of older sister -younger brother relationship upon meeting. My own younger brother was killed on the front lines so I guess I just adopted Anakin as a substitute brother to fill the void. Anakin and my brother were so much alike I'm sure they would have gotten along like a house on fire had he lived.
"Oh Force, I am so sorry." He started right off the bat, his face a mask of guilt and agony.
I barked a laugh as I felt a few tears escape. The lad thought I was mad at him.
Anakin had found out about how I felt about his master. And since he is recently married and very much in love, he was prone to the symptoms of most other people in that emotional state. They want the rest of the world in love as well. So after this last mission which was particularly hellish on his master and their ship, he came right out and asked me when I was simply going to attack his master.
"Ani, I'm not mad at you. Not in the least." I assured him, "This isn't your fault."
"But it is." He insisted stubbornly, "I really thought that my master cared back."
"You greatly flattered me by thinking so, but I am afraid it's just not true." I sighed.
"What happened exactly?" He asked, "I guessed by the emotions swirling off of you today that you got your answer and it was a resounding no."
I managed a watery smile for him as I attempted to make light of the situation, "He threw the book at me. Literally. He picked up the military leather bound volume detailing how fraternization between officers of different rank is strictly forbidden and slid it across the table to me. He told me I should read it and highlight all the items I have violated by saying 'I love you'."
Anakin whistled and sat back, "Damn. You don't think he'll press charges on you, do you?"
I sighed, "It's very possible and well within his rights. I guess the only thing I can do at this point is simply write up my letter of resignation confessing my sin and pray the Commander General reads it before he reads the court martial request from Kenobi."
Anakin shook his blonde head and looked at me sorrowfully, "I am so sorry this happened."
"Don't worry about me Ani. I'll be OK. Just make sure you kick the ass of anyone who makes fun of me for this after I'm gone OK?" I smiled at him
He gave me an encouraging smile, "I'll talk to my master and see if I can convince him not to press charges. I mean, you didn't sexually harass him, you didn't do anything other then say three words and mean them. Surely that can't be worthy of court martial."
We said our good-byes and hung up. The sun had still been up when I came home and I had used it's light to navigate. However, when I hung up the sun had finished setting. The room was very dark and very still.
And silent.
In one way, it was a terrible dark silence, and in others it was comforting. Right here, right now, I was OK. I had come from a raging storm and when I got up tomorrow, I would be back into it. But right now there was the peace that comes in between, like the eye of a hurricane.
Trying desperately to hold on to that sensation I quietly and silently slipped into bed and cried myself to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*
See it rising
Stare and wonder
Hear it beckon
You to dance
Feel it hold you
Take you under
I'm your God of second chance
~*~*~*~*~*"Wake up." A deep voice growled hostility.
Military training took over. I was immediately on my feet, blaster in hand, found my target to be a man with red and black tattoos and horns and squeezed off a round.
The bolt was a direct hit. Sort of.
It simply passed through the man's head. At first I thought it was a holo, but the reception was remarkably clear. And the figure glowed a dull angry red.
The more I looked at him, the more he looked like a creation from my deepest nightmares. Hellish red and black tattoos were scattered on his face, horns rose up from his skull like a demonic crown. His eyes were a pair of yellow flames. In the air was the scent of scorched earth and something else I couldn't identify by name but a primitive part of me recognized and hated.
"Quick reactions, good shot, but your follow through is terrible." He commented dryly as he stepped across my bedroom, THROUGH my bed to stand in front of me. No holo broadcast could do that. I saw that he was slightly transparent, now that he was closer. The edges of his flowing black robes moved like black smoke.
"Who are you?" I demanded, sounding a hell of a lot braver then I felt.
He bowed stiffly, "I am Maul. Former Sith apprentice."
I stared at him, "Former? Doesn't that make you a master then?" I replied. If I kept him talking , it bought me time while I thought of a plan.
He chuckled deeply, it sounded as if his voice was echoing through a deep cave, "When you are dead, you keep the title you were given in life."
"Oh." I said, "I don't believe you. I'm either dreaming, or you are a holo."
He smirked, "Let's take those in reverse order, shall we. No holo could do this." He picked up a lamp and threw it across the room. It shattered with a terrific crash.
I swallowed nervously.
He grabbed my wrist and asked with a dangerous mildness in his voice, "Does this feel like a dream?"
It was heat so intense it felt cold, it was cold so intense it burned. It was blinding pain in my wrist like I had never felt before. Wherever his hand was, I felt pressure, pain, cold and heat all at once. The nerves there screamed in agony as flesh disintegrated under his touch.
When he let go there was an angry red imprint of his hand on my flesh, and puncture wounds where his talons bit into the tender skin of the underside of my wrist.
No, this was no dream.
~*~*~*~*~*
I never wanted to give my life away
Who ever thought it would matter any way?
~*~*~*~*~*"Why are you here?" I asked as I held my wounded arm. I tested and felt my fingers were still able to move, even if it was painful.
He stepped back and bowed elaborately, his black cape swirling majestically and sending a breeze scented with fire and brimstone and that scent I couldn't identify, "To grant you what ever you desire."
I arched an eyebrow, "Aren't you supposed to be trying to seduce Jedi to the dark side? In case you hadn't gotten the memo, I'm not force sensitive."
"We take our allies where we can find them." He smiled softly, "There is something you want very much, I have the power to give it to you. For a small price. Nothing in this life is ever free."
"I won't sell my soul." I said flatly
"I don't want your soul. Just one favor that I can call in at any time." He said smoothly "Nothing big, along the lines of running an errand."
"There is nothing I want that you can give me." I spat back. I might not be the brightest light in the marquee, but I did know trying to make a deal with the darkside was something I really didn't want to go into.
"Oh?" He asked and gestured to my mirror. In the reflection played out the scene where I confessed and was rejected. It was painful enough the first time when about halfway through where I was in such shock at the harshness of the response I was numb to the second half. This time, no numbness came to save me.
I stood there, staring at the scene as it paused with Kenobi looking his most fierce and disapproving, like he was disgusted at me. I felt tears prick my eyes once again.
Maul was at my side, "The rules are simple. I shall make you up to three offers. If you accept one of them, we have deal. You break that deal I take the gift away with interest."
"And if I refuse all three?" I asked
He shrugged, "You become my plaything to haunt. Either way I win, but one way is much more pleasant to you."
I swallowed. Becoming the plaything of a sith lord who's very touch was intense pain and could probably think up a few interesting things to do with me was not a happy prospect. Then again neither was becoming the Darkside's lapdog. It seemed as if I was up a creek without a paddle no matter which way I looked at it.
"If I refuse to play and see any offers?" I asked, wanting to know my options.
"Same as rejecting all three." He grinned, looking positively enthused at the prospect.
I shivered in terror. The look in his eyes was one of someone who enjoyed inflicting pain and suffering on those around him. I fell back on my first strategy. Wait, buy time, and maybe I'd think of something.
"Show me what you have to offer." I said.
~*~*~*~*~*
All these things are now before me
Endless death or timeless glory
On this night of ghosts returning
To the light of bridges burning
But can I gamble this night
With everything that I am?
And can I erase my life
Or do I stay here and be damned?
~*~*~*~*~*He grinned and waved his hand at the mirror. The image inside of it fogged over, like I was looking through a window into a world of smoke. When the smoke cleared it was a vision of female beauty so breathtaking it was almost inhuman. I stared at the image, it was still recognizably me. Only a few changes were made to my appearance. But oh, the difference those changes made.
"I can give you beauty," Maul whispered into my ear with all the deep charisma of the dark seducer he was. "I can give you charm. I can give you a sexual allure so potent men will fall at your feet in worship. Kenobi will be no different. He'll be begging your forgiveness and for permission to touch you. This beauty is eternal, it won't fade with age, it will simply increase. He will be more and more entranced everyday. He'll be willing to sacrifice everything for just one smile."
I stared at the image as each scene Maul described was played out in the mirror. The look of sheer need and lust on the faces of every man, and Kenobi's. The sight of Kenobi on his knees pleading for forgiveness. Maul's voice was carrying all the power of the seduction he was promising me so my body was completely ready to mate with Maul, despite being fully aware his touch would cause extreme pain.
I took a breath, closed my eyes to calm myself before saying, "No. I don't want this. I want him, but not like this. No matter what changes you make to my body I will still be the same old me. It will be lust, not love."
He shrugged then waved his hand in the mirror again, "I thought you'd refuse that one. I just had a bet going with Exar about it. Thank you for letting me win."
"Don't take this personally if I don't say, 'you're welcome' with a whole lot of sincerity." I replied laconically.
He chuckled as the smoke in the mirror cleared once again and I saw me going to work in the morning as usual. Only this time I was dressed in the finest silks. From the looks of things I was very rich and very powerful.
"This gift is more straight forward. I can give you power to rule planets. Money to buy anything you wish. You could use it for what ever you wished. Think of being instrumental in ending the war. You could do that. Save millions of lives and have him very grateful to you."
This one was far more tempting then the last. I could save the lives of men like my brother, who joined up out of loyalty and there was nothing of him to bring home to my mother. Ending the war was the die hard dream of anyone in the army, and here was my chance to do it.
But once again, I closed my eyes and rallied. "No. That would mean mucking about with powers I cannot possibly understand. The power you'd give me wouldn't be free, it would come from somewhere. The balance of power is too delicate as it is right now. I cannot disturb it."
He simply chuckled as he waved and the mirror filled with smoke again, "No matter then. Surely you won't object to this."
~*~*~*~*~*
Try
I have tried
To pretend that I don't care
But then
Sleep arrives
And in every dream I find you there
~*~*~*~*~*This time he didn't describe the scene. He didn't have to. I looked in the mirror and saw my bedroom behind me, just as I always see it from that position. Only in the reflection, the bed was occupied.
The occupants were clearly having a good time. The sheet was draped in such a way I could only see the flesh of a broad back as the male thrust into the female with slow, languid but deep strokes. The head was out of sight due to the position. Given the state of clothes and wet towels scattered around my normally neat bedroom, I'd have to say this wasn't the first time the figures had been together in this session.
Then I heard the first moan. It didn't come from the mirror. But from behind me.
I whipped around in time to see the man throw back his head and give a second throaty moan. My jaw dropped as I saw that it was Kenobi. He was biting his lower lip and his eyes were tightly shut in concentration, as if he were trying desperately to hold back. He shifted position just slightly and I saw that the female he was pleasuring was me.
I watched as my doppelganger moaned in complete abandon as she twisted under Kenobi's attentions. She was writhing with utter pleasure, completely incoherent except for animal sounds and gasps.
I trembled as I watched the scene as the figures came to completion and collapsed to the bed. I was nearly undone as the figure of Kenobi gathered my double close to him and whispered, "I love you." Before they drifted off to sleep.
Never in my deepest fantasies had I imagined such a dream scenario. I hadn't knowledge to make much more then a romantic haze with the mental curtains blowing to cover up the parts I didn't have experience to build with.
But I already knew what my answer would be to Maul.
I felt tears prick my eyes once more as I looked at the scene before me and locked it up in my heart. This was by far and away the greatest temptation of my life.
"No." I whispered hoarsely, my voice finding the answer when my heart, mind and soul were shattered with temptation. "Here you only offer me a lie. Making him love me against his free will is the deepest crime of all. It's taking away his right to think for himself and give his heart to whom ever he sees fit. I can never accept this. You failed Maul."
Maul's face was a comical mask of shock as he took in my words. He was probably certain I would take this. For me to refuse it was an idea utterly foreign to him. His face then turned into a mask of anger and anticipatory glee.
I slowly backed away from him as he inched forward fingers stretched out for me. Maul was laughing so loud it was hurting my ears. While I stepped back, a part of me that wasn't quaking in terror at the prospect of eternal torture was laughing.
Maul was wrong. He did give me something for free. The vision of a moment in Kenobi's arms would warm my heart for a lifetime.
The backs of my legs hit the bed and I fell backward into it. He was so close to me I could smell the brimstone. I finally identified that smell my primal instincts knew to fear. It was the coppery scent of blood and the heavy sickly sweet scent of decomposing flesh.
Suddenly the semi transparent image of Maul wavered, like someone dropped a pebble into a pond. Then, he was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*
The things I have done
The places i've been
The cost of my dreams
The weight of my sins
And everything that
I've gathered in life
could it be lost in this night?
Sometimes
Slowly
Time brings revelation
~*~*~*~*~*Breathless from shock it took me a little while to realize that Maul was truely gone and this wasn't some trick to torture me.
When I looked up, some distance from my bed was a man, glowing blue this time. He was dressed as a Jedi, had long flowing hair to his shoulders and a kindly smile.
"Forgive me child." He said softly, "I tried to get here sooner. But I see I was too late to stop some damage."
I looked at my arm, still bearing it's mark like a brand. The man in blue drifted over and carefully brushed his translucent hand over the abused flesh. The pain died down to something manageable immediately, but the mark was still there.
One hour ago, having a dead man show up in my apartment would have seemed odd. However, after everything that happened, I wasn't phased.
"This isn't ever going to go away, is it?" I asked softly
He shook his head, "No, but I shouldn't worry too much. Anyone who is a Jedi and sees this will know what happened."
"What did just happen?" I asked
"The dark side attempted to use all it's powers to seduce you and failed." He said as he sat down next to me. His blue eyes were warm and kind, despite the fact I could see my wall behind them.
"What was Maul after?"
What I could only assume was a dead jedi, shrugged, "We don't know."
"You don't KNOW?" I said astonished, "You mean when you die the answers just aren't all there?"
He smiled, "Just as battle over evil rages in life, the war is also on in the after life. The battle front is your world, but that doesn't mean reserves can't be called upon in ours."
I blinked, "So someone on this side asked this Maul creature to come to me? Why?"
"Why you, we know. What the favor they were seeking in return was, we don't know."
I sighed, "I'll add it to my to do list for the week. Finish restocking the Reliant and the Valient, send in resignation, find out what the sith are up to."
The ghost smiled at me very gently as he placed a hand on my shoulder. From where he touched me I felt calm start to spread in my shaking limbs and peace ease into my soul, "Do not fear. Your world may seem topsy turvy now. But it will all right it self."
"Thank you, for saving me. Will he come back?" I asked worried.
The Jedi smiled, "I'll guard you until someone comes to take my post."
I nodded, "Thank you. I still can't believe all of what's happened." My eyes lids were growing heavy. Between the emotional roller coaster I was on and the events of the evening I was very tired. I began to feel the dizziness that comes with exhaustion. I felt a pair of gentle hands guide me under the covers and tuck me in.
"Remember little one." He whispered, "The darkside has no real power over anyone who doesn't willingly give it to them. They can't hurt Obi-wan or influence him in any way. Maul couldn't really offer you anything you didn't already have."
With that cryptic remark, I felt my consciousness being tugged towards sleep. I felt a slight tingle on my temple where he kissed me before my mind gratefully slipped into oblivion.
~*~*~*~*~*
Lay your head down
And sleep on my shoulder
Lay your head down
And start a new dream
And for tonight
The moment is over
And here in the night
As I feel the inferno
I stare in the dark
Thinking what is eternal
The man or the moment
The act or the reason
These thoughts fill my head
As I contemplate treason
~*~*~*~*~*I woke up.
It wasn't a pleasant process let me tell you that. My alarm usually goes off long before reveille so I can be at my desk to make sure the trumpeter sounds on time.
I really wished the morning hadn't come. It meant that I now must deal with the consequences of my actions. And I began to remember the dreams I had the night before.
Then I sat up and looked at my arm. It had the red brand in it shining out like a beacon. I turned my arm over to see the underside and there where the talons had punctured were dimples like wounds.
That had been no dream.
I sat back and wrapped my arms around my legs to hug my knees close to me. What should I do about this? Given from everything that happened last night it all centered on General Obi-wan Kenobi. I sighed as I thought things out slowly and carefully.
First thing was first. He didn't want me. I had to get that into my head and heart. Surprisingly, I felt nothing at that. Just because he didn't want me the same way I wanted him didn't mean he didn't care for me all he could. I had plenty of evidence that he considered me a friend.
Considering the gaps between us, I was content with that.
I looked at my burn mark and sighed. 'Touched by the Darkside' was what the Jedi ghost told me. If that was true, it meant the darkside considered me an access portal for them to get to Kenobi. They can't touch him, but I could. Given how traitorously evil the servants of the dark are known to be, if they can't get me with bribery, they will try something else.
In short, just because I am not their willing instrument, doesn't mean I can't be manipulated into being one without my knowledge. Which consequently made me Kenobi's biggest Liability.
As soon as I realized that thought, I began to wonder, maybe getting court marshaled and him pushing me away might be the best thing to do. Then again, maybe the entire train of thought I had been having is off. Maybe the darkside considers me as a strength and is trying to find a way to drive a wedge between us.
I moaned and flopped back into bed as my head spun with possibilities and counter possibilities. I sighed as I looked at my arm again. 'Touched by the Dark.' I've been permanently branded. If Kenobi saw this he'd know and ask and then…
Then I would really seem foolish. What little respect he had for me would be gone. Apparently the darkside thought I was weak enough to be turned to their bidding. If they thought that, and Kenobi knew, I'd lose all his respect, something I had worked so very hard to gain.
I shuddered, anything was preferable to that. Him hating me was preferable to him losing all respect for me. As long as I had his respect, I had everything that truly mattered.
With a great shuddering sigh, I stood up and pulled on my uniform and readied for the day. Only time will tell what my best course of action will be.
~*~*~*~*~*
If I could see someone
Who's been there before me
And traded his soul
For a moment of glory
His penance or mercy
By spirits debated
While judged on a scale
That's been heavily weighted
~*~*~*~*~*I arrived to my desk exhausted and flopped into my chair to stare blankly at my desk blotter. Pretty soon a cup of the strongest smelling caf known to the galaxy appeared in my vision. I followed the hand holding it to the face of my savior.
"Hi Ani. You're up early." I yawned as I downed the cup in one gulp.
The golden haired lad smiled at me with gentle sapphire eyes, "I talked to my master last night."
"And?" I asked looking at him with barely concealed hope.
Ani placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "He did what he did to prevent someone formally doing it and it showing up on your record. The republic recently installed cameras into each conference room so any activity is recorded. If someone happened to watch yesturday's tape instead of just trusting the driod's report, it could have shown on your record as a formal complaint."
I felt the tension flow out of me like water, "Thank your chosen deity." I collapsed back into my chair with relief. A breath that I didn't even know I was holding was gone.
Ani grinned, "And he says that he still respects you and admires your courage to come forward and say something instead of hiding it."
I reached up with one hand to the one he rested on my shoulder, grateful for the contact, "I'm not going to be fired."
Ani hugged my shoulders, "Not in the least. The republic lost a great auditor when you joined the military. But I will have you know my master said that he expects to be ready to ship out in two weeks."
I snorted, "What? On my budget? In the rainy season during the Holiday celebration? With the scrap metal supply shortage in it's fourth week and the carbon synth guild in it's second month of strikes? I can do good work, but I'm no saint. Miracles are a little beyond my ken."
Ani chuckled and kissed my temple, "Good, I was hoping to have a few extra days with Padme."
I smiled at Ani, "This caf earned you two days and the news you just gave me earned you another four. If you bring me breakfast I'll make the delay an even week."
Anakin looked at the floor to try and hide his smile. Just then the door opened and a service driod bearing a tray came in. On the tray was a heaping bowl of fresh cut fruit and a grain bar. I took one look at it before I whipped out a pen and paper and dictated to myself, "I, the undersigned, have been bribed by Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker for one week extra shore leave for the price of coffee and fruit."
I signed it and handed it to him. At which point he chuckled, "Now get to work before my master arrives and thinks we only goof off while we are waiting for him."
"We aren't only goofing off. We talked about repairing the ship, ergo I am billing this as a business meeting and writing off the cost of the meal." I said indignantly.
"But you didn't pay for it!" Anakin shot back at me
Shrugging I signed into my computers, "So I get nothing out of nothing. Woopie. Now get outta here." Anakin laughed and was most of the way out of the door before I said a soft, "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He replied and he was gone.
Seconds later I heard the door open again and a pair of very familiar booted feet marching into the office. They stopped right in front of my desk. I didn't even bother to look up. I knew who it was.
"Hello General Kenobi, what can I do for you?" I asked. I could feel my stomach clenching in tiny little knots. My mind was paranoid. Would he be able to sense my scar hidden by my standard issue cuffs? Would he see how incredibly weak I really am, how I almost gave into temptation. It was such a near miss I was still quaking inside. I had serious doubts that if Maul offered a second time that I'd be able to refuse.
"Nothing for now, thank you." He replied just as calm and casual as you please. That inner core accented voice flowing over the words like silk. The man had a beautiful voice and when he was in a jovial mood he sang. I had the privilege of hearing him once when he thought he was alone. I fell in love at that moment. "Any messages for me?"
I reached for the stack I made last night and handed it to him, unable to look into his eyes. "Arranged by order of arrival and importance."
"As efficient as always." He replied before a silence that only came with the complete stillness of movement descended upon us. Then I felt a hand touch my chin and tilt it upwards to force my eyes up. "Are you all right?"
Yeah, just fine. I had handed him my heart on a platter, had it smashed to pieces, had a dead sith offer me the temptation of a life time followed by a close save by a dead jedi. Considering all that I had been through, I thought I was handling things rather well. "Yes sir, I'm afraid I didn't sleep well last night, Sir"
The key to throwing off a Jedi is to tell them enough of the truth so the logically conclude what you want them to. It was the complete and total truth that I didn't sleep well last night.
He leaned back on one heel, "Private if you take all of your dress downs so much to heart I would have to say you would make a very poor officer."
"Sir, yes sir." I replied automatically and pulled myself straighter. He didn't look entirely satisfied with what he saw, but he was going to accept it and ask no questions.
"Well, then, I best be off to work." He said
"Sir, before you leave, I finished my task." I said quickly as I reached down and pulled the tome out of my desk, "I have highlighted all the regulations I have violated."
"Private I didn't really mean for you to do this. " He began as he started to flip through the book, until he noticed that the pages were all still virgin white.
I allowed myself a little smile.
"Private, I feel that I need an explanation of this." He said as he held up the book.
I straightened my shoulders and managed to keep the smile off of my face. "Sir, I have read the regulations carefully. There are rules against offering to have relations, sexual harassment and forcing of said relations. There is not a rule in there that prohibits an inferior officer expressing emotions to a superior officer for a superior officer. Said superior officer can be the one expressed to or it can be a third party. Therefore, I haven't violated any rules."
I could almost see his eyebrows reach his hairline.
"Besides, " I continued, "I don't ever remember telling you who it was I was referring to. For all you know, I could have been talking about the assistant cook. "
I then dared a look up at him. His changeable eyes had turned an impossible shade of blue. It was so deep and so pure I swear that the color only existed to be in his eyes. He had recently shaved his beard so he was smoothed faced and I could see a stubborn cleft to his chin. His hair was a light brown streaked with gold, which gave me the indication that it would turn golden should he spend a long time outdoors.
"Sir." I finished softly, looking into his eyes, daring HIM to look away. I may be shattered but damn it I had my professional pride to uphold.
His lids dropped to half-mast as he nodded with a slight curl of a smile in his lips. "Very good private. I was wrong, you are most definitely officer material."
With that he turned on his heel and walked away from this battlefield, leaving me the victor.
End.
