Rating: R
Disclaimer: Lucas and Lucas Films Own Star Wars. I just wrote this for giggles.
Summary: In the early stages of the empire, a independent space shipper gets an unexpected Cargo.
Feedback: Please!

Part 1

Lyssa sighed as she brought her ship to dock at Coruscant. She normally didn't like visiting the Capitol City of the new Empire mainly because it was the same planet that held the Emperor and frankly, the very image of the man creeped her out.

However, Coruscant it's self wasn't that bad for the mildly oppressed and only occasionally persecuted. The officers kept their troops in line, there wasn't much corruption or outlandish abuses and those that did commit these transgressions were punished. So long as one was truly innocent and gave the higher ups no cause to notice you, you were let on your merry way.

As a shipper, Lyssa had to make very sure all her papers were in beautiful order and ready for the docking officer to see. Opening her hatch upon their knock she downloaded her shipping orders and release papers into a datapad. As an independent shipper, she didn't have the help of a company to obtain them.

A female petty officer came on with her two guards. Lyssa tossed her unruly curls of brown hair behind her head and handed the pad to the officer. The woman started paging through them as the guards went to search her holds.

"Coming from Alderaan?" The officer asked mildly.

"Yes Ma'am." Lyssa replied

"That's Sergeant." The woman replied slightly testily.

Lyssa blushed, "I'm sorry Sergeant, but I haven't yet figured out the rank markings for the new Army. Forgive me."

The woman smiled a bit and her stance relaxed, "I have a hard time with it as well. Everything seems to be in good order. Thank you for having it all on one pad."

Lyssa smiled, "I figured the easier I made your life, the happier you'd be. The happier you are, the quicker I'd get clearance to unload and collect my next shipment. The three passengers I have are waiting for you to question them. They have their ID's."

The officer nodded, "Good work. May I ask why aren't you in a company?"

Lyssa smiled, "A Company tells me where to go and what to ship. I rather like knowing what's in my holds. Besides, if I feel like a vacation I don't need to fill out any forms."

Officer chuckled, "Not one for Civil Service then? Ah well, I was hoping to recruit more females into the space flight Core. Pilots get automatic rank and we need more ranking females."

"Isn't it like that in every part of the Galaxy?" Lyssa chuckled. Though in her mind she saw exactly where the next question was going.

"So what do you think of the new empire?" The lady asked too casually. This was the standard question to try and shock the truth out of people.

Lyssa simply shrugged and told the truth, from a certain point of view. "Like any government, it's got its good points and bad ones. It's doing great things to unifying trading under a single currency so I'm really happy with not having to pay money-changing fees anymore. Otherwise I'd have to say I don't really notice it much."

The woman nodded satisfied and handed the datapad back to her, "Well, everything seems in good order. Feel free to unload cargo and disembark passengers. I'll question the passengers after they are out."

Lyssa nodded and the woman turned on her heel and left.

***

Lyssa laughed as she finished swapping jokes with the Pub Keeper. The man was a swarthy humaniod with a pig-snout and sharp little eyes. He was also had the best meal for the price range that most shippers could afford. So this ended up becoming a popular shippers pub. People needing things transported often came in looking for prospects and the shippers showed up to swap stories and sometimes fists.

"Aye, one of these days wee lassie you are going to find this job is too much for you, quit and marry me." The barkeep chuckled.

Lyssa waved her hand at him, "Sorry Latha, your wife would beat the crap out of me if I did."

Latha snorted, "You know I am allowed to marry more then one woman! As long as Telia remained chief wife she wouldn't care."

Lyssa chuckled as she settled firmly in her stool and started in on her sandwich. She over heard a conversation near her.

"I'm looking for someone who can take a friend and his child to a new home." A smooth cultured tenor spoke

"That's it? Where are you going?" Came the skeptical male reply

"Tatooine."

"Check back here in a few weeks, maybe I'll have cargo going there." came the standard reply

"I'm sorry it has to be tomorrow." the Tenor said urgently

"You are barking up the wrong trees here. We are independent shippers, not smugglers."

"I'm not looking to smuggle anything. I am merely looking for independent passage to Tatooine tomorrow."

"Look Buddy, that is hutt territory. We are all HONEST pilots in here. We don't fly to places like that." the man said grumpily and turned away.

Lyssa smirked a bit to herself and gave a small whistle. The man sat down in the stool next to her. She looked up at him and smiled, "Don't mind him.   He just got slapped with a fine for forgetting to put an outer rim planet on his datasheet that didn't coincide with the Empire's landing records."

The other pilot snorted and went back to his table. The Man before her looked at her, "You mean it isn't illegal to take passengers to the outer rim?"

Lyssa laughed, "Oh heck no! Just a matter of getting the correct permits and such. So long as your ID's are legal and you write a legitimate reason for going there, you are fine."

The man blinked a bit, his chocolate brown eyes seemed to hold a deep hidden sadness. "You make it sound so easy."

Lyssa covered one of his dark hands in hers, "Don't worry. The trick to dealing with the Empire is to give them the right amount of respect without fearing them. If you don't fear them they assume you are on their side and don't pester you."

The man watched her carefully, she could see he an incredible amount of intelligence. "How do you feel about the empire?"

She chuckled, "Careful friend. Ask that question here people will think you are a mole."

The man gave a flicker of a smile, "So how do you recommend getting my friend to Tatooine."

Lyssa grinned into his face like a kid out of school, "I am a member of the second oldest profession, otherwise known as a mercenary. Good Advice isn't free. Pay for my dessert and we'll call it even."

The man chuckled and sat down, waving the barkeep over, whom brought Lyssa's desert of flavored shaved Ice. "You're in good hands Mister." The Barkeep said while Lyssa dove into her desert.

"Why do you say that, my friend?" The man asked

The barkeep thumbed at Lyssa and said, "She's been in this business for years and knows her stuff and yet still shines like a newly minted credit."

Lyssa blew a raspberry at the barkeep, "I resemble that remark. Just because I like reading classical literature in my spare time doesn't mean I will walk into a trap."

The bar keep chuckled and threw up his hands, "Hey, every spacer needs a hobby to while away the boring time in transit. You're just the only one I know that got into the business FOR that boring time in transit. Gives you time to read."

Lyssa laughed, "Can't argue there. Now, stranger, here is how you get your friend to Tatooine. First, you need to get your permit for a flight out on a private charter. To get that, you need some reason that the Empire feels warrants it. Best thing for your friend to say is that he's planning on moving there and wants to get there before the rainy season, such as it is, starts. Time to set up evaporators and crops."

"And the Empire will think it's a valid reason?" the Man asked softly

Lyssa nodded, "Good chunk of the uncommissioned officers and recruits are either farmers children or knew farmer's children. They'll know how important being there on time for the growing season is. Besides, more crops you grow the money food there is to feed the Army."

The man nodded slightly, "Rather ideal, considering that is the very reason why my friend needs passage so quickly."

Lyssa grinned and polished off her shaved Ice. "Great, well, good luck to your friend. Bye!" Lyssa then waved her credit stick over her pay station, hopped down from her barstool and started to walk out.

She heard behind her, "So, how much do I owe you for the shaved Ice."

The barkeep chuckled, "Nothing sir, what she didn't tell you was that her desert was included in her meal."

***

Part 2

Lyssa growled as she bolted a piece of paneling back into place. Her overalls were covered in grease and oil. Her uncontrollable brown curly hair was only held in place by the rag she tied there. She was damn sure that there were black marks all over her face from when she brushed something off it.

"Excuse me?" A soft melodic tenor floated to her from above her head. Lyssa slid out from under her ship using the rolling backrest she was laying on.

She popped out to see a man a few years older then her. His beard and hair didn't have any grey in it, but his eyes said his soul was far older then his physical age. One thing that captured her was the man's eyes, drifting from Cobalt blue to Emerald green.

"Can I help you?" She asked, her head lying at his feet.

"I am looking for passage to Tatooine, I believe you spoke to my friend last night." He said softly

Lyssa smiled, "Oh! Brown eyes! Yes, I remember him. Forgive my appearance but I wasn't expecting to negotiate with customers today."

He gave a small flicker of a smile, "I have seen worse."

Lyssa threw her tools into her box, "Why don't we head on inside and chat about terms and such while I clean up?"

The man nodded and waved his hand indicating she was to lead. Lyssa immediately hopped up onto her backrest with one foot while using the other foot to propel her around the ship. After gaining enough speed, she put both feet on the rest and skateboarded herself into the main hangar.

She heard a soft chuckle behind her. Lyssa turned to see the man following at a more sedate pace, pushing a hoverpram. Lyssa quickly put away her equipment and led him down a hall to her main room.

"Don't tell me that having a little harmless fun hurt anyone." She grinned.

He just smiled, "I just find it remarkable that anyone can, in this day and age."

"Why don't you get comfortable while I wash up." She waved him to a table in the corner as she dashed behind the island in the room that separated the main room from her tiny kitchen. She quickly washed her hands and scrubbed her face. "So where is the little one's mother?"

"She's dead." He said softly, his voice betraying a world of sadness. Lyssa's heart broke for him. No wonder he didn't see how anyone could have fun.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." She began her apology as she walked back into the room drying her hands, "Shall we get down to business before your little one wakes up or I am sorely tempted to play with him."

The man's eyes registered surprise, "You like children?"

Lyssa chuckled, "I have four younger brothers and sisters, all production of my fathers second marriage when I was twelve. Naturally I was default baby sitter. I didn't mind, they were all great fun to help raise."

The man's cheeks flushed, "I still have trouble with taking care of Luke. My friends have to help me."

Lyssa grinned, "Well if you chose my passenger liner, I can help as well."

He smiled, "That is what I hope. My name is Ben."

"Lyssa." She grinned shaking his hand. "So you want to go to Tatooine. My price is standard. Nonstop trip is four thousand credits."

He paled slightly, "I don't know if I can afford that."

She smiled. She always told her highest price first, that way when she told them her other lower priced deals they were convinced they were getting a bargain. "That is why I have a price range. If you agree to let me make three or less stops of my choice totaling no more then ten days delay for you, the price is knocked down to only two thousand."

He nodded, "That sounds the most reasonable. Will I be able to work off some of it?"

Lyssa laughed, "Down to fifteen hundred if you help me with ship maintenance, loading/unloading and paperwork."

Ben gave a flicker of a smile, "That is ideal. Thank you."

Lyssa grinned, "No, thank you. Basically you are paying me to be my assistant. Do you need to get anything?"

Ben shook his head, "No, all that I need I am carrying."

Lyssa slapped her hands on her knees, "Great, just fill out this contract, we'll sign it, register everything with the authorities, apply for clearance and we are off."

She slid the data-tablet over to him as she began sending in the necessary forms for clearance off the planet. Seconds later Ben handed back the tablet which the promptly uploaded to her computer.

"Good afternoon Miss Lyssa." The same female officer that greeted her came on the vid screen. "I see you wish to leave. So soon?"

Lyssa chuckled, "Windfall of a payload came my way. Might be able to take a vacation after this."

"Passes and papers?" The officer asked

Lyssa uplinked to their computer, "Sending now. A Copy of the contract will be sent as soon as it's finished uploading to my computer."

The officer waved it off, "No real need. It'd be one more thing for me to check, reference and file. Everything else is in order. Well. Have a nice trip Captain and hope to see you again on Coruscant."

Lyssa thanked the sergeant and canceled the connection. "Let's ready for take off!"

***

Lyssa sat back with a grateful sigh as soon as she was into hyperspace.

"You seem relieved we have left." Ben said as he finished up at his station in the copilot's seat.

Lyssa chuckled, "Yes. I'm never comfortable where there is a crowd of people. I much prefer my books and Hyperspace. I think it's because I was born here."

Ben blinked, "You were born in Hyperspace? I thought it was illegal for pregnant women in risk of delivery to travel."

Lyssa shrugged, "Mom didn't tell anyone. Simply told the departing planet she gave birth at arrival and the arriving planet at the departing one."

Ben smiled, "Explains some of your nature."

"I suppose it does." With that Lyssa heard the baby cry.

Out of instinct she simply got up and walked to the crib. "Hey little boy, why are you so sad?" With that she reached in the crib and picked up the child.

And nearly dropped him.

Under the covers that the child was lying in was a small wrinkled green creature. Lyssa swallowed thickly as she recognized the face. Any child growing up in the republic knew that face.

She turned to see Ben standing at the door watching her. Her mind raced a thousand times faster then normal, leaping nimbly to all the right conclusions. Yoda was lying in the crib with the baby. Now that she saw Yoda and got the idea of Jedi in her head, she knew she had seen 'Ben' before, but just couldn't place where.

She had heard that Jedi were sneaking off of Coruscant either by smuggling or subterfuge. She had talked to some who had shipped the Jedi. While she felt for their plight she wanted no part in aiding them. Almost everyone she had talked to that had shipped Jedi were killed.

With their smuggling passage line destroyed, the Jedi had obviously chosen a new way off planet. Deception.

"You used me." Lyssa said, her head spinning with the betrayal she felt. She had grown up as all children in the republic had with the idea the Jedi were there to protect her from this very thing. "I was an innocent and you USED me."

Ben lifted his hand and said, "I apologize, hear me out."

"No, I won't hear you out. I should punt the both of you into hyperspace for this, or worse yet, turn you both in at the nearest space dock." Lyssa gasped, suddenly very frightened. Her nice calm orderly world where everything was as it seemed had been turned topsy turvy. The ID that this 'Ben' had presented probably was fake and if traced would lead right to her. Her life and career would be destroyed.

The baby gave a small cry and Lyssa immediately comforted him, grateful for something that was even in a more helpless situation then her.

"Apologize to you, we do. Only way of escape, this was." Yoda said softly from his position in the crib.

Lyssa immediately sat down, trying not to hyperventilate. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be part of the underground transportation that snuck the few living Jedi to safety and that life of high adventure. She just wanted to live out her life peacefully and quietly.

She had little dreams. Her own Ship, a chance to earn enough to retire in some nice temperate planet in peace. All she wanted was just now annihilated.

"We understand this is going to cause some inconvenience." Ben said softly.

Lyssa glared up at him, "Inconvenience? Lord of the Stars you jedi are given to understatement. My world is atomized, do you have any concept of this?"

"Yes, we do." Ben whispered softly

Lyssa immediately stood up, spine indignant, "So your precious Jedi life was wiped out, was that any reason to destroy mine?"

With that she immediately marched out of the room to her quarters and kicked the door shut.

***

Part 3

Two hours later still found her locked in her own room, away from the Jedi who used her. Little baby Luke began to fuss a bit and Lyssa immediately shushed him. The boy's eyes popped open to reveal a startling sky blue. Luke simply watched her with the intelligent gaze that only a baby could give.

"What am I going to do, Luke. Huh?" She asked softly

He gave a small grunting noise and reached up at her with one chubby hand. Lyssa held him with one arm as she gave Luke her finger to hold.

"You'll probably make more sense then they do." She commented as Luke kicked his feet a bit and pulled her finger down to suck and gum it. "Did they use you to get out, too?"

The little babe in her arms simply blinked at her.

"No, I don't suppose they'd stoop so low as to steal a baby away. Maybe you were adopted for this cover, or you are a child of a Jedi." She said as she wiggled her finger inside his mouth and he gave her a toothless laugh and smile.

Lyssa sighed, as she pulled her finger out of his reach and Little Luke gave a huge yawn and closed his eyes. She watched as his breathing slowed into sleep.

Lyssa smiled into the baby's peaceful sleeping face. "Maybe you are what's worth destroying my life over."

With that she got up and carried Luke out of her bedroom. Wandering down the corridor to the main room she arrived in time to see Ben and Yoda looking like they were chatting quietly but had stopped to watch her arrive.

Lyssa carefully placed Luke into his little crib. He looked so small and helpless.

"Well, if I am going to smuggle you out of here, I have a lot of work I need to do. First I need to come up with fake landing papers to place you, and fake papers saying I've taken on new passengers, then I have to get the permits for those landings and leavings, explain the amendment to the original permit and why you aren't going to Tatooine." Lyssa sighed as she sat down in front of her compu-station.

"Thank you, we do." Yoda said softly behind her.

Lyssa flinched, feeling her rancor at being used war with her need to do what was right. Namely, saving the child and those who have often saved others.

"Both of you, do me a favor." Lyssa commented, barely able to keep her anger in check, "Don't talk to me right now."

***

Lyssa was not a happy camper. Here she was, holding a small fussy infant in the middle of a force forsaken swamp. For company she had a silent grumpy brooding Jedi who could barely stand to look at the child and shriveled up green troll.

Neither of them made any sense to her when they yammered on about honor. To Lyssa, Honor was just a word used to cover up a lot of atrocities in this galaxy. It was honorable to kill those different then you. It was honorable to persecute the innocent.

Lyssa felt as if the Jedi were doing the right things for the wrong reasons.   They were fighting for a cause of having a free republic and yet had no concept of what that meant to the average person, such as herself.

Her awe and estimation of the Jedi plummeted significantly. And yet, she was covering up for them, lying for them and saving them from the frequent inspections of the Empire. Digging herself deeper and deeper into trouble.

Lyssa didn't do it for them. She was doing it for the tiny blonde cherub in her arms.

This wasn't about honor or duty or even freedom for her. It was about family and this little boy's right to have a life with some measure of happiness and self-determination. That was a cause she could fight for until her last breath.

Still, it was in moments like this where she wondered if she was doing the right thing in helping the adults and not simply shoving them out of an air lock and keeping the child for herself.

Her beloved ship was sitting up to the second joint of its landing gear in the foulest smelling mud she ever imagined. Luke was starting to fuss a little in her arms.

She sensed more then heard the little green Jedi walk over to stand next to her. Lyssa cradled Luke close to her heart and shushed him.

"Thank you, I do. Ask for this, you did not." He said softly in his backward speech.

Lyssa sighed and said nothing. Simply stole a glance down at the little baby in her arms and just as always, any anger she held at the adults melted away at the sight of the child.

"Actively helped us, you did." He continued, "More then expected, it was. Why?"

Lyssa felt a small smile touch her lips as Luke reached up to grab her shirt. "What was done was done. If I actively helped or passively helped, the empire wouldn't differentiate. I would be deemed a traitor unless I either turned you in or helped hunt you down. That I could never do. So if I am to be a traitor I might as well go all the way."

Yoda made a small noise and Lyssa simply bent down to hold Luke within Yoda's range. Yoda placed one gnarled green hand on the baby's forehead and closed his eyes. "See you again, I will. Grow now, you must."

Lyssa smiled, then to her surprise he placed that hand on one of hers. It barely spanned the width of her palm and felt callused and warm. Yoda closed his eyes. For an instant Lyssa felt as if she were being weighed or measured against some unknown standard.

When Yoda finished, his eyes opened and his green eyes met her gray. He smiled slightly, "Help him, you will."

Lyssa smiled, "Of course, he's an adorable baby."

Yoda simply chuckled a bit to himself and hobbled off on his cane to speak with grumpy Ben. Lyssa groaned, alone for another week with Mr. glowering Jedi was not her idea of a fun time.

She hefted the baby up further on her body and examined the more human of the Jedi. Well, physically at least. Yoda with his backward speech and limited responses at least showed a dry wit and expressed interest in her book collection.

The man before her might as well have been etched in ice for all the emotion and warmth he showed. His eyes were a hard and disapproving teal each time she happened to glance his way. His mouth was a perpetual frown.

Still, his hair was a dark honey gold that was beginning to prematurely grey. Every once in a while she saw him staring out her portals with a softer sadder expression on his face. She could see how if he lost the frown and warmed up a little, he could be quite handsome.

The two finished talking and Yoda wandered off into the Swamp. Ben walked over and ordered, "Make course to Tatooine."

Lyssa calmly replied, "No."

Ben came to a full and complete stop and turned around to stare at her, "Pardon me?"

Lyssa stood up straighter, "You are passenger, I am pilot, I outrank you."

"I have hired you which means you are in my employ." He replied in a tone that would have sent lesser men and people used to taking orders scurrying to do his bidding.

"No, you have hired me to take you to your chosen destination provided I find it in the best interest of everyone on board." She snarled.

"I am your only passenger." He stated.

"No you aren't." She said as she shifted the squirming Luke, "This little one here is also on board. Taking an infant to Hutt territory is not what I consider a safe bet. Especially when you have broadcast your intention of going there."

Ben looked down his nose at her from his superior position on the ramp. "It is what is known tactically as a double bluff."

"It is known practically as idiotic." Lyssa replied haughtily. "I don't see why I am arguing with you. I am captain. What I say goes."

Ben showed the first sign of emotion and clenched his fists while saying through gritted teeth, "I have a very good reason for thinking the Emperor will never look for us there."

"What? The force told you? Much good it did for you so far." She fired back as she marched up the ramp and shut it. "I want facts, not fiction."

"Set the course there and I will explain." He said as his fists clenched and unclenched.

"Everything." Lyssa demanded, "Everything from your real name to who this child's parents are."

He paused for a while and stared out at the swamp through a portal. She didn't know what he saw, but slowly his face changed expression. The hard angry edge changed to sad and resigned.

"It all started over ten years ago, when I met a nine year old boy, named Anakin Skywalker..."

***

Part 4

Lyssa smiled as she handed Luke over to Ben to change his diaper. She had been giving the Jedi Knight a crash course in baby minding. As a Jedi and a General he had seen many things. War, burn victims, atrocities beyond description. He had negotiated some of the biggest treaties with the most delicate of touches.

Yet this great man was hopelessly lost when presented with a six-month-old infant. The man had no idea how to hold him, tell a feed me cry from a change me cry, or anything that meant taking care of a tiny baby.

Lyssa chuckled, at times she didn't know who was ready to cry more, the baby or the man.

After giving the man a quick and dirty instruction on how to change the child she decided the best way for him to learn it was to do it. She sat across the room while Ben placed the baby on the blanket covered table and started to remove the old Diaper.

"Lyssa where did you put the... oh FORCE. We need to go to a healers immediately!" she heard his horrified cry.

Immediately Lyssa was at his side. He was standing there with a shocked and appalled expression in Ben's blue eyes. Ben was holding one end of the diaper with one hand while the other hand held Luke's bottom aloft by the boy's ankles.

"His feces are GREEN!" Ben said in shock.

Lyssa tried very hard not to burst out laughing, "That's normal."

"What in the name of the force are we feeding the child? Bantha Fodder?" Ben asked astonishment coloring his voice.

Lyssa walked up next to him and peered over his shoulder, "Food doesn't stay in a baby long enough for it to turn brown. So it comes out what color it wants."

Ben glared at her, "You better not be laughing."

Lyssa passed a hand in front of her mouth to cover up her smile of amusement at his predicament. When she dropped it again, her face was smoothed to calm. "Why would I be laughing? You obviously have never dealt with children before and need to learn."

Ben frowned then turned back to the project at hand. "So I dispose of the dirty diaper here yes?"

Lyssa smiled, "Yes, just pitch it into the red chute. I use that one for bandages and such. I consider human waste product a bio-toxin and anything it's touched will be cleaned and sterilized accordingly."

"Next I wipe the child clean." He murmured to himself, as if he was repeating instructions to assembling a weapon. He grabbed a pre-moistened wipe from the box and cleaned up Luke. Luke rolled his eyes over to her and looked as if he was asking her for permission to start crying. Lyssa simply made a funny face at Luke and tickled his nose.

"Next, a bit of powder." Lyssa said as she handed Ben the bottle, which he sprinkled on the baby's newly cleaned bottom. Luke always giggled at that. Ben's face stony face cracked a little and Lyssa saw something akin to affection in the man's eyes. Luke clapped his hands happily as if to cheer his caretaker on.

Ben picked up a new diaper and placed it under Luke's bottom. "Well, this wasn't so bad. Aside from the smell, I don't really know why new parents often complain about..." His sentence was stopped abruptly when the cool air proved too much for the infant's control and Luke relieved his other bodily function. The boy ended up peeing on Ben's face and tunics.

Luke giggled proudly and clapped cheerfully at the mess he made. Lyssa couldn't help up have her face burst out into a smile. "You've been anointed. Luke only does that to the people he really likes."

Ben started to slowly clean himself up and dry himself off. "I find it hard to believe a child that small is able to have so much water pressure."

Lyssa chuckled, "He shorted out a wall clock a week ago. Don't feel bad, he gets me too. One of the wonders of having a little boy instead of a girl."

Ben shook his head ruefully, re-cleaned and re-powdered Luke, got a fresh Diaper and finished changing the child. "It's a wonder the human race survives."

Lyssa took the baby from the table and held him close. Luke yawned and promptly fell asleep, "Babies have their moments."

***

Part 5

Ben walked into the lounge area and looked around. Lyssa looked up to see that Ben was wandering about in only his pants and boots. One of his tunics was in one of his hands.

"Where is my other tunic?" He snapped. Lyssa normally would have appreciated the view of a handsome build but the illusion was ruined the second Ben opened his mouth.

Lyssa raised a finger up to her lips and then pointed at the baby in her arms. "Luke's just gone to sleep."

"Sorry." He said in a softer tone, "Where is my other tunic?"

Lyssa adjusted her arms so Luke rested more comfortably. "I gave it to Luke."

Ben blinked, "Pardon me?"

Lyssa smiled sweetly, "Luke likes the feel of the fabric. It's very soft and textured. So it makes a good blanket for him."

Ben frowned, his eyes going a hard teal once again, "You had no right to commandeer my clothing."

Lyssa chuckled, "I had every right. Luke wouldn't go to sleep without it. So, I wrapped him in it. If you want to wake him, take it away then try an calm him down again, be my guest."

Ben continued to frown but it lost its edge somewhat. It was no longer harsh and unforgiving. "I never knew babies were such hard work."

Lyssa shook her head, "If you want good ones, children are a lifestyle, not a hobby or project."

Ben walked over and knelt beside her to reach out and look at Luke. His face melted and eyes softened. "So innocent." He murmured to himself.

Lyssa smiled at the image he made. She was right, losing the frown and ice made him quite handsome indeed. "Would you like to hold him?"

He waved his hands in protest, "I couldn't, he cries when I hold him."

Lyssa ignored him and shoved Luke into his arms. Ben blinked continued to protest as Lyssa shoved him not so gently into her seat. As predicted, Luke woke up and started fussing.

"See, I can't hold him." Ben whined, sounding rather pathetic. Lyssa chuckled and started to reposition his arms.

"No, hold him close so he knows you won't let him go. And hold his head so he can hear your heartbeat. Don't be afraid of him. He's just a baby. Think of how he needs your protection and love." Lyssa said.

Amazingly, while Luke was normally very cranky at being woken up from a nap, he didn't cry out. Luke simply opened his very blue eyes and stared directly up at Ben. He made a little coo-ing noise and continued to watch his holder.

Ben's face completely melted. His expression was that of a man enraptured. "He's so tiny." He murmured softly. "Hard to believe this will grow to be an adult thinking human."

Lyssa smirked, "Even more remarkable to this is that at one time we were that small and someone was saying the same thing about us."

He didn't even acknowledge her statement. "He's just an empty vessel. I can fill him with anything. It's a chance to start over."

Lyssa admired the picture they made. Grown male in complete physical shape holding an infant boy. Both had light hair and blue eyes so it looked as if they were father and son, though Lyssa knew the truth.

"How did you make him sleep?" Ben asked in quiet wonder.

Lyssa chuckled, "I sang to him."

"What did you sing?" He asked softly, "Perhaps I can share the duty of putting him to sleep."

Lyssa smiled and began the song she used to sing her brothers and sisters to sleep. It was a hypnotic song in its repetitive melody. The melody was a joy to sing since it was deceptively simple and yet the ways to vary it like skipping a note, or singing a half an octave higher kept the singer hypnotized as well. While there was a hint a past sadness in the song, it was one that looked forward to a bright future.

Halfway through the song little Luke was yawning and starting to get droopy eyed again. When she began her chorus the third time she heard a tenor voice join hers to sing a soft countermelody. Shortly after the end of the fourth chorus it was plain that little Luke was completely asleep.

"See." Lyssa smiled, her grey eyes sparkling with mirth, "The warrior can have a baby fall asleep in his arms."

He looked up at her and gave a small shy smile. It was as if the human inside of the Jedi was frightened to come out. "Where are your brothers and sisters now?"

Lyssa was surprised, it was the first time he had asked her about herself. Lyssa sighed, "They died when the space station they were attending school on was destroyed by the empire for siding with the Republic."

His eyes grew sad, "I'm sorry. I'm surprised you don't hate the empire for it."

Lyssa smiled slightly as she watched Luke sleep. "I did, for a while. But then I remembered that my siblings would all kick my ass if they saw I wasn't enjoying my life. I forgave the empire for taking my family away. Doesn't mean I LIKE it though."

"Why didn't you join the fight?" He asked

Lyssa shrugged, "By the time it happened, the republic had already lost. I wasn't going to let the Empire wipe my entire family out. So I made a life as independent from them as I could."

"Space Pilot." He smiled, "And your obsession with old texts?"

Lyssa winked, "Often times the one person people forget to consult in a war are the scholars. We are the ones who know why people lost battles and where the secret tunnels exist. We know how and why empires fall. When it comes time, I'LL be waiting."

Ben smiled at her with more warmth then before, "So you are one of those who will teach the children quietly so they can rise up and fight and not make our mistakes."

Lyssa chuckled, "Something like that."

Ben glanced back down at the child in his arms, "I have received word when we were in regular space above Degobah that the parents I was supposed to give Luke to are dead."

Lyssa paled, "Oh no."

Ben looked back up at her, "Our mission isn't blown. They were killed because he was my brother. The Empire is killing the families of Jedi to prevent any new Jedi from growing."

"What are you going to do?" Lyssa asked

Ben gave a flicker of a smile, "Would you help me take care of this little one? All I am asking for is until I can take care of him myself. Eighteen months should be enough."

Lyssa sat back and thought. It would mean giving up her beloved ship and the life she built. But the life she loved was gone due to this act of treason she committed. Without that life, the ship was worthless to her.

Besides, what did she have to loose? She had no family who'd miss her, no real close friends who might come looking.

It was funny really. She never wanted to give her life away to a cause. Who would have ever thought it would even matter if she did.

"Of course I'll help you with this little angel. For as long as you needed it."

***

Part 6

Lyssa and Ben had decided it would be best to pose as a recently formed couple of an arranged marriage. It would at one fell swoop explain their close relationship as well as their personal distance. Luke was the son of Ben's brother to explain his presence. All in all, it was an easy pose to make.

The first few months were wrapped up in Ben getting evaporators to work and the house running while Lyssa took care of the baby. Lyssa sold the ship for enough of a profit to purchase some land and building materials for thier hut. Ben didn't want a farm, he wanted to be able to concentrate on raising Luke.

And when the time came, to training him.

Ben earned occasional money for repairs to equipment and necessary items working as a bouncer at a local bar. Lyssa had laughed at him when she first heard the idea and teased him that even now he couldn't resist a fight.

As always, Ben met any friendly outreach of hers with silence, contempt or ice. He mechanically helped her with Luke without comment or question. To her, it seemed as if he was shutting himself away from everyone and everything.

She gave him the space he needed. After all, it's not everyday that one can blame one's self for single-handedly causing a close friend to turn to evil and the fall of a galactic government. Even as a teenager prone to fits of exaggerated depression, she's never been able to accuse herself of that.

She'd let him go outside and brood for a while. But should he be in the funk too long, she'd make him start moving again by asking him to help with the baby or build something for the hut. He'd stare at her silently for a while, then start moving.

Lyssa was walking with an eleven month old Luke one day looking for new seeds for their vegetable garden when she saw a two year old girl come running up only to trip at her feet.

"OOPS!" Lyssa smiled as she bent and righted the child, "Are you alright?"

The girl nodded mutely, her ice white hair flowing around to cover her face with each bob of her little head. "Tess! What did I tell you about running off?" Came a matronly voice. Lyssa looked up to see a woman with the same white hair and ice blue eyes as the child come marching up to her, long string of children in tow.

The girl, Tess ran from Lyssa to her mother. The mother looked up and smiled, "You must be Lyssa, I heard a new family arrived."

Lyssa smiled, grateful for someone who would talk more then three words in a string to her. "Yes. It's been hectic to say the least with this little one."

The woman grinned, "I'm Metha Winchel but most people call me Widow Winchel.   Every town has a matron and because I have more grey hair then the oldest other mother here, I'm it."

Lyssa laughed at the joke. "Well, it's good to meet the village mother. You are raising all those kids by yourself?"

Winchel snickered, "Good heavens no! My oldest are sixteen and fifteen and help so much it's like the younger kids have three moms instead of one. I had to admire your gumption, traveling and taking care of an infant while moving to a new place is hard."

Lyssa Shrugged, "Well, my husband helps."

Winchel smiled softly, "Don't they all. Come along. This place sells seeds at too expensive a price. Let me show you where the real bargains are!"

Lyssa laughed and let herself be tugged along. It was nice to finally have a friend.

***

Lyssa smiled down as she watched Luke pull himself up by the edge of Winchel's coffee table and step away only to flop back on his bottom again. Tess, the two year old, who had just gone through this a year ago was highly interested in the process. She even was trying to help Luke say on his feet.

The widow had taken a liking to her and vice versa. They were both ex-pilots with a love of a good book. They'd spend hours discussing a classic play over a cup of tea while they quilted together.

"Luke is a rather special boy." Winchel smiled as they watched little Tess try to help Luke stay upright.

Lyssa smiled, "Yes he is. I love him to death."

Winchel nodded, "You've got a big heart then."

"What makes you say that?" Lyssa asked curious

"The boy isn't yours. Most women would feel resentful at the intrusion of a strange child so early in the marriage." Winchel continued to quilt.

Lyssa smiled, "I knew about him when I agreed. In fact, Luke was the reason I agreed to the arrangement with Ben. Ben is an ex soldier who was clueless about children."

Winchel smiled, "Arranged marriage then?"

Lyssa nodded, "Yes."

Winchel sighed, "Mine was too. Is it just me or is your husband hurting from his time in the war?"

"Yes, he is. He lost a lot of good friends." Lyssa sighed

"Handsome. Isn't he?" Winchel said slyly

Lyssa looked up at the widow, "Yes, I know what you are trying to find out and Yes I have and no he doesn't."

Wichel's face fell into an expression of sympathy. "Oh darling. I'm so sorry. To be so close and yet so far."

Lyssa nodded, "Yes, well, I can survive. I've got Luke."

Winchel's face smoothed into contemplation, "I wouldn't worry too much dear.   If one waits long enough, he'll come to you."

Lyssa shook her head sadly, "You don't know Ben then."

Winchel sighed, "I've been alive over sixty years and I must say, I know men. He'll come around. Have faith."

Lyssa sighed as she watched Luke give up on walking for now and simply stack blocks with his new friend Tess.

***

Part 7

Lyssa came home from her quilting session with the other mothers in the area to see Luke sitting in the middle of the room trying desperately not to cry.   The little nearly five year old boy was rubbing his eyes over and over. Lyssa saw the cause of this was the fact Ben gave Luke a hair cut, so the boy had the traditional padawan buzz.

Lyssa walked up to the little boy and knelt in front of him, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

Luke sniffled and looked down at her, "Nothing." He said miserably

Lyssa smiled gently, "I doubt that. But if you insist. What happened today while I was gone?"

Luke's blue eyes nearly overflowed with tears once again, "He cut my hair."

Lyssa smiled and rubbed his head, "I see that. Feels funny doesn't it? But it should keep you cooler during this hot season."

The boy blubbered a laugh and a few tears spilled out. "Unca Ben called me… weak about my hair. He… He said it was a van-it-ee."

Lyssa gathered the boy into her arms and hugged him close. "It's OK. I'll talk to uncle Ben for you and say you are sad about your hair."

The boy sniffled a bit before stepping back and saying, "Thank you Aunt Lyssa."

Lyssa kissed his cheek and patted him on the back, "Winchel brought me over and she's ready to take you over to her place for Tess's party. You still want to go?"

Luke nodded and hugged Lyssa again. With that they said their good-byes and Luke picked up his small pack and toddled off outside to the waiting Aircar.   Lyssa waited until she heard it pull away before going and looking for Ben.

When she found him in the back, staring out at the cliffs, she was angry.

"Hey! I need to talk to you." Lyssa demanded as she marched up to him. Ben was standing with his back to her, stiff military stance making him look like a general standing on deck. She was not impressed.

He didn't respond to her. He simply stared out into the distance. Finally Lyssa had enough of trying to wait for him to talk to her. He was still frozen. Granted his life was destroyed but so was hers! She reached him and grabbed his shoulder to twist him around. "Look at me when I am speaking to you, Damn it."

How a man only three inches taller then her can look at her as if that was her total height and not their height difference she will never know. The only change in expression from his blank stare was the raising of a single eyebrow.

"How dare you!" She growled, her fists balled up. "How dare you treat Luke that way?"

"I don't know what you mean." Came his infuriatingly calm reply, his eyes as flat and emotionless as his face.

"Luke! You cut his hair, without any regard to how he might feel about it." Lyssa snarled.

"He's a Jedi in training, and as such he is to follow it's strictures and traditions." He replied calmly

"He's also only a four year old boy." She rejoined, "Let him be that way."

"The way of the Jedi states that…" He began, starting his usual lecture as to why something needed to be this way or that way. She had enough.

"The Jedi, in case you haven't noticed are DEAD." She shot back, hoping that going for his jugular might shock him into some emotion instead of that zone of nothingness he seemed to feel. "Their rules and regualtions don't exist anymore."

"Luke is our only hope to re-establish the jedi and defeat the sith."

"I know Luke is a special boy, but the universe he is trying to save is special too. How is he supposed to know what he's saving unless he is part of it?" Lyssa reasoned, "How can we ask him to give up being normal unless he knows what being normal is?"

"It's the only way we've trained Jedi." He replied calmly

"Well Obviously, it hasn't worked well for you lot so far has it?" Lyssa snarled.

"Luke is picking up some very bad habits." He looked down at her with clear contempt in his eyes. "Emotion is a Jedi's enemy."

"Batha Poo! The SITH were your enemy." Lyssa shot back.

"Emotion leads to the darkside."

"No, anger lead there."

"Luke is afraid of many things."

"The only thing he's afraid of is disappointing you. You demand so much of him that when he fails to achieve it he beats himself up and is terrified of what you'll say."

"The world isn't going to coddle him like you do."

"How is he supposed to comfort himself unless someone shows him how?" Lyssa crossed her arms over her chest, "You are the only father figure he's ever known and you are nothing but Ice to him and me as well. I have done nothing but help you. Luke has done nothing but try to love you. Perhaps you should rethink your Jedi rules and see which ones have outlived their usefulness."

He glared at her, "Perhaps you are the one that has out lived your usefulness."

Lyssa stepped back as if he smacked her. Her heart clenched and her lungs stopped working, "I wouldn't dare leave you alone with that precious little boy. Who knows what trauma you'd inflict on him."

Ben's eyes turned back to the scene of the setting sun over the Junland Wastes. Lyssa tossed her hands in the air and stormed away from him.

***

Part 8

Lyssa sat at the table, feeling absolutely horrible and idly stirred her soup in the bowl. She felt no inclination to eat it, more a psychological need that when suppertime came, food must be in front of her at the dinner table. A ritual she did everyday to keep herself sane. It felt good to know that no matter what hand life dealt her, There would always be a time she would stop the day, sit down, and have a meal.

The lump in her stomach was taking up too much room for her to be hungry.

A hot tear slid down her cheek and into the luke warm soup. She sighed as she looked up and out the window to the cliffs at Tatooine. Ben still stood there, staring at the sunset. Frozen like the ice statue she accused him of being.

She bit her lip dropped her gaze from the shadow outline against the brilliant red sunset down to her homely soup. She sighed. Part of what she said she still felt she had every right in flinging at him. Little Luke deserved far more affection and leniency then he was given. Ben was expecting the four nearly five-year-old to act like an adult and master skills far beyond his ken. The poor kid was actually believing Ben and miserable when he couldn't reach his mentor's perfectionist standard.

She was glad Luke was spending some time at friends. That way he wouldn't see his foster parents fighting.

Over the past four years together, she had helped raise Luke to the adorable winsome child he was now. She had thought that She and Ben had become something more then partners in this endeavor. Friendship was how she would have characterized their companionship. Though she ended up falling in love, she knew damn well that the likelihood of it being returned was none. She accepted that, but had clung to the idea they were friends now.

She was wrong.

She had marched back into the hutt, anger burning in her brain and soul. However, quickly on it's heels, reason cooled her temper and logically paraded forth all the reasons he was right. After all, the deal was she'd help raise Luke to the point where the Ben could do it. At four, Luke was talking, therefore her job was done. What in hell did she expect for completing a nursemaid job? A Marriage proposal?

She looked up at the pink and purple sky as the twin suns set completely, leaving Ben a dark silhouette in the shadows. It was a breathtaking sight.

With a sigh she looked back down at her now cold soup. That was the difference between them. He was a heartbreakingly beautiful sunset, she was cold soup warmed over. People painted sunsets, wrote poems about them, found meaning in their beauty.

No one had ever thought that the solution to life's mysteries could be found in a bowl of leftover soup.

"About a year after Anakin married, I found myself in love with his wife." She heard him whisper softly. His voice was rough with remembered pain. She looked up to see him sitting across from her. One arm resting on the table, stretched towards her.

She kept silent. He had given her the silent treatment about this long enough. Time for her to be silent and listen.

"I told him as soon as I realized it, asking for his absolution so I could move on and find peace with myself. Anakin was shocked but I believe he understood. He knew I had absolutely no intention of doing anything about how I felt other then attempt to rid myself of the feeling. In the mean time, my emotions would color my perceptions and I wanted him to be aware of it." He said softly.

She nodded as she dished out a second bowl of soup from the warmer and placed it before him. He stirred it, staring at it's contents. "While Anakin forgave me, strangely enough, Padme did not and blamed me for Anakin's fall. It was a supreme act of forgiveness and trust to give me one of her children to raise and care for."

She nodded, the last bits of the puzzle were falling into place. Before she didn't know why he didn't love her. Now she knew it wasn't that he didn't, it was that he couldn't. His heart was elsewhere with some mysterious Queen she only saw in news Holos. The woman was reputed to be as good and talented as she was beautiful. That put the gnawing pain of unfounded hopes to rest.

"I don't mean to be cruel." He said softly, "I'm just..."

She smiled, "Having a hard time understanding how you, one of the greatest there was, tumbled from your pedestal."

He puffed up indignant at the assault after opening his soul, "I didn't think I was the best."

She smirked. She grew up with four younger brothers and sisters all far more talented and beautiful then she was. And they all HATED it when she beat them at something by virtue of being older. "Yes you did, else you wouldn't have so much of a problem dealing with things now. You walk around here like you were still general of the command post. When Luke or I question 'orders' you are reminded you aren't there anymore."

He sighed, "You antagonize me when I act superior, yet you ream me out when I start thinking I am the worst of all. What do you want me to think I am? Ordinary?"

She looked across the table at him with eyes gone infinitely sad, "Is that really so terrible? To be Ordinary?"

He lowered his glass green eyes from hers to face the soup in front of him. Slowly he dipped his spoon inside of it and tasted it. He made a small appreciative noise. "This really is very good. I don't know why you thought it needed more salt in yours."

There was a silence that weighed heavily between them. Finally she whispered, "I didn't know you were funny."

"It something I am learning from you." He said as he took another bite of his soup. "Stay here a while longer, I might actually make you laugh."

"Instead of cry." She finished for him.

He didn't comment. He just kept eating. "This really is very good soup."

She gave him a flicker of a smile. Damn Jedi and their tendency to be easily distracted into stating the mundane. She put her bowl back into the food saver unit and walked off to her bed in the back room.

***

Part 9

Things were better between them, in the same sense that a critically ill patient will say they are better to family members. They aren't quite sure if the sensation was caused by an actual improvement or if it's merely that they were getting used to the pain.

The absolute hardest was trying to explain things to Luke a few days later. She was tucking him into bed one night and heard soft high childish voice say, "Are you and Ben fighting?"

She looked down to see a pair of very worried blue eyes peeping over the covers. He had drawn the covers up over his nose so only his fingers and eyes were seen.

She sat down next to him, "We did fight, now were are waiting for us to say we are sorry."

His nose appeared from under the covers as his tense body began to relax, "Was it about me?"

She smiled and tickled his nose with one finger, "In some ways yes, others no. Our disagreement over some ideas about what to teach you caused other problems to come out."

The angelic blue eyes went sad, "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"Hey!" She said sharply as she tapped his nose, "I will tell you here and now it's not your fault. Whenever Ben and I fight it is OUR fault, not yours. Never yours dearheart."

His mouth appeared and it was a sad frown, "Then why do I feel so bad?"

She sat back, "Because when someone you care about is hurting it hurts you too, no matter how it happens?"

Luke nodded slowly. She was very proud of him, this wasn't an easy concept for a child to understand. "Ok." He said reluctantly. She could tell his mind was trying desperately to make the connection it knew should be there but was just out of reach.

"Are you going to stay?" He asked so softly, she wasn't sure she heard him.

"What?" She asked.

"Reed's mum and dad had this big fight and then Reed was told his dad was going away for a while. Are you going to stay?" He asked sounded pitiful.

She immediately scooped him out of bed and into a hug, holding him tight. "No dear heart. I'm not leaving. Not anytime I can see in the near future."

Luke shuddered a couple of times before going boneless in her arms. She had to wonder how long had Luke been holding that worry in. She carefully put the boy back into bed and tucked him in. His worry put to rest he soon rolled over and went to sleep.

"Admirably done." She heard down the hall as she stepped out of the room. She looked into the shadows but couldn't see her praiser.

***

Part 10

Kenobi sighed as he stared into the flickering light of the candle. It was a meditation he had devised while on Tatooine. At night, he would walk out alone with one lit candle and sit in the dark to stare at its flame. It had been two years since he had the fight with Lyssa and quite a few since then.

The latest one was about Luke going to school with the other children. He didn't like the idea of letting the hope of the Galaxy out of his sight. Lyssa reasoned for the future. If Luke was indeed to save the galaxy, and stand alone as he re-established the Jedi, he was going to need interpersonal skills. Skills which could only be achieved by associating with his peers.

Kenobi didn't like it one bit, but he realized she was right. While it was an awful big risk that Luke would turn his back on Jedi teachings and follows his dreams elsewhere, they would gain a happy, well adjusted child. One with the mental stability to withstand a full on dark side assault with open eyes, not just blind obedience to the light.

He had to admit that Lyssa had done a fantastic job with Luke. He was growing up happy, bright, cheerful and extremely well behaved. Lyssa just had to frown at Luke and Luke would stop what he was doing, realize it was wrong and apologize. Luke also resisted the temptations that came with being six, such as teasing those who were different. Instead, Luke strode up to those who were outcast, figuring they needed a friend.

He didn't want to tell her, but he needed Lyssa fighting with him. It meant that she felt there was something in him worth arguing with, something of some merit inside him. Though force only knew what she saw. How she could find anything worthwhile in the dried up husk of a man he had become, he'd never know.

He felt his mind drift to Luke's mother, Padme. He called up the image of her face in his mind. The soft brown eyes and hair, the beautifully regal face. Strangely enough, he didn't feel his heart give the usual pang upon image. It was as if her image no longer had a hold on him.

Kenobi frowned deeply, puzzled at that. He thought that love was supposed to be forever. Were his feelings for Padme really only fantasy?

His heart and mind came back with the answer of no. It had been real enough when he was General Jedi Master Obi-wan Kenobi. That seemed like a lifetime ago. Looking back, he could see the flaws in him as clear as if he was staring at another man. He was confident to the point of arrogance, a consummate Jedi and General of the army. But that was all he was. Nothing more.

No wonder why he had repulsed Padme with his confession! His saying he loved her was really a mockery of what Anakin felt. It was real love in his fashion, but his fashion of love was skewed, compartmentalized and alien to her.

Then came Anakin's fall, Padme giving birth and his escape from Coruscant, never to return. He was to leave the planet Obi-wan Kenobi and arrive on Tatooine as Ben. He had to transform from Military Commander and Jedi Master to commoner and farmer. It was quite a shock as well as a tumble. If Lyssa hadn't have been here, he would have wound up a crazy old hermit, living in the Junland wastes.

Through Lyssa's guidance he learned how normal people lived and worked. Their days were so similar from one to the other; it was a wonder they were able to keep track of time at all. Their troubles seemed so petty. Will the price of crops rise or fall? Will the quilting be done in time for the competition?

Just as patient as she was in rearing Luke from babyhood to childhood, she was with him in helping adjust from fast lane to slow life. Very rarely did she snap at him, when she did, it always caused him to pause and adjust his thinking.

She really was his angel out here. He would be lost without her.

She was right, if Luke was to truly fight to save them, he had to care for what he was fighting for. Not because it was his duty to care, but because the safety of those in the republic was a personal subject to him. The most dedicated in this sort of battle wins. The Emperor has several thousand years of hate to back him. Maybe a few years of love can fight that.

Kenobi felt a small smile flicker on the edges of his lips. Love. An emotion. Something that Jedi were forbidden from feeling. It was what brought them their destruction. In the end, it is what will save them from dying.

He knew in order to teach Luke how to balance emotion with the needs of the force he had to figure it out himself. That was why he was meditating. How does one open up yourself to feel emotion on a daily basis when you've been locking it away, dispersing it and compartmentalizing it since you were a child?

The last time he felt anything deeply was at his master's death. At the funeral, Obi-wan the padawan had killed any and all emotions inside him. Even his love for Padme was a brief flickering sickly shadow that he easily shunted and transmuted.

He thought of Luke, looking so like his father it was nearly heart breaking.   Luke was like his father and yet not. While his first instinct with Anakin was that the boy was dangerous, he didn't get that feeling from Luke.   He felt his heart swell with pride, joy and love for the boy.

Then he called up the image of Lyssa. Her brown curls that always seemed to be in an artful tumble with no effort on her part what so ever. Soft gentle voice that drew the listener in closer to hear the sweet tones better, only to find themselves suckered into getting a closer look at those hypnotic grey eyes. The twelve small freckles dusting her nose that she often expressed distaste over but he knew he would dearly miss should she ever succeed in ridding herself of them.

At that image he felt a warm gentle swelling in his heart. It didn't bring pain in its wake, or any other twisted emotion. It was simply there, providing light for his soul and strength to draw on. Kenobi gave a soft gasp.

So this was what real love was.

"I'm glad you've opened your heart up to the world again Padawan." Came a heartbreakingly familiar voice.

Kenobi lifted his eyes from the candle to see his master sitting across from him, glowing a soft blue hardly brighter then the flickering candle flame before him. "Master. But I thought Jedi were not supposed to feel emotion."

Qui-gon smirked a bit before answering, "Jedi are supposed to be without DESIRE, padawan. Not without feeling."

Kenobi blinked, "I can understand some emotions, like loyalty and friendship. But why should we feel anger or sorrow?"

Qui-gon looked at his apprentice for a while before answering, "We are allowed to feel darker emotions but they should never grip hold over us. Anger is natural when we see injustice. But feel it, admit it and let it go. You will be wiser and stronger in it's passing. Remember the shadows are just as important as the light."

"But the force feels no emotions." Kenobi countered, remembering all the arguments Yoda gave them.

Qui-gon chuckled, "We aren't the force, Padawan. Do you think we are so arrogant as to believe that we are the force ourselves? No, we are merely its servants. Just as we are the hands it does not have we feel the emotions the force can't. We sing its joy, and cry its tears of mourning. "

Kenobi felt a small blush creep to his cheeks about his next question, "What about the softer passions? Like love."

Qui-gon smiled, the edges of his blue eyes crinkling with the action. Kenobi got the distinct impression his master knew damn well why he was asking. "They are just that. Softer passions. A good love can do nothing but strengthen one. Don't be afraid of your heart, my Padawan. It's a good one, and will not lead you astray."

Kenobi drew a deep breath, "Master, one last question."

Qui-gon nodded as his image slowly faded from sight. "Go on."

Kenobi looked up into his master's eyes. He was terrified to ask this question, but he desperately wanted to know the answer, even if it broke him. "Considering my colossal failure with Anakin, was there anyday during my knighthood that made you proud?"

Qui-gon chuckled softly before he faded completely from view, "Every single day of your knighthood you make me proud, my padawan. Every single day."

It was then, with spirit of his master gone, that Ben Kenobi did something he hadn't done since his master died. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

***

Part 11

"Uncle Ben." Luke piped up at his elbow. The two men in the Kenobi household were watching as Lyssa drove off into town for a night off. As per an agreement between the two of them, once every six months they each got a night off completely to themselves.

"Yes Luke?" Ben asked softly.

"You're worried about Aunt Lyssa." Luke said. Ben could feel those blue eyes staring up at him and through him.

"Yes, I am." He replied.

He knew where he went during his time off. While he was a Jedi, he was also a human male and as such it would chafe under complete chastity. In temple, often times Jedi found companionship with each other, simply sharing the warmth for a night or two before parting amiably. That option gone, on Tatooine he usually he found simply a shipper who was just passing through and wanted a little fun for the evening.

Over the past few years he had been slowly seeing a change in his taste of companion. Instead of being attracted to the regal reserved women, he found himself drifting towards the types with a twinkle in their eyes and a non-stop smile.

The last time was one year ago. He was in the middle of a heated moment with the good lady when in middle of his passion, instead of calling out the girl's name, he called out 'Lyssa'.

He would have died of embarrassment right then and there, but the girl simply giggled and called him "Geria." When the time came to start heading home and the girl had called out to him saying this Lyssa was an extremely lucky woman and that he should tell her Delia said so.

He hadn't gone out since. He knew it would be an exercise in futility if he did. However, the very thought of Lyssa seeking that same emotionless companionship made his heart break for her.

"Uncle Ben? You love Lyssa, don't you?" Luke whispered after a long silence

"Yes I do." He replied. No point in denying it if the child saw it.

"And Lyssa loves you." Luke pointed out.

Ben lowered his chin and looked at the ground. He had sensed her feelings develop the second year they were together. He thought it was the simple attachment that is bound to form on a woman's side when marriage vows of any form were in place.

When he felt it was something more he desperately wanted it to go away. He thought it would interfere with their professional relationship of raising Luke. However she was as careful about not having it interfere as he could have hoped for.

He had felt sympathy for her condition. Unrequited love was hard enough to bear. Her sole comfort was keeping her feelings a secret from him. Since he couldn't give her his heart, he gave her the illusion that he didn't know. When he told her about Padme, he felt her heart shatter. However she rallied and her sense and her strength impressed him. Now all of her energy was sublimated to Luke as she resigned herself to her fate.

Now that she had come to terms with her heart never being reciprocated he found himself becoming very much aware that it was.

"Yes." He replied.

Luke frowned as if trying to puzzle something out, "Why aren't you two happy and loving each other?"

Ben sighed, "It's complicated Luke."

Luke looked up at him in all wide-eyed innocence, "How so?"

Ben looked down at the boy with the mop of blonde hair. Ben opened his mouth a half a dozen times, trying to come up with a way to explain what was holding him back. What precisely was standing in his way of courting her? He didn't love another person anymore. She was as free an agent as they came. Had he been simply so used to never having what he wanted that he simply assumed he couldn't have her?

Finally he smiled, "You are right Luke. It isn't that complicated after all. Come on, its time for supper."

Luke reached up and took Ben's hand, "I know. It's scary the first time you do something. Don't worry, it's not that bad. I usually find that when I am scared, what I am scared of isn't half so bad as I thought it would be."

Ben patted Luke's hand, "Wise words, Luke. Well done. Very well done indeed."

Luke's eyes and face registered surprise so great it was almost comical. Then his face broke out into a big smile and he stepped to him and hugged his legs. "I love you too, Uncle Ben."

Ben bent down and Picked Luke up and held him in a way that he hadn't done since Luke was a babe. "I love you too, Luke."

***

It was long past midnight and Ben was supremely worried. Lyssa wasn't home yet. Normally he was asleep when she came home since he didn't really care where she went. Now that he cared deeply he was more and more suspicious as the hour drew later. And more and more agitated.

He knew she loved him still, even under all the sublimation she placed it under. How could she simply go out and let someone use her that didn't care a jot about her? He understood his motivation for seeking that kind of company was born out of the fact something inside him was numb to that kind of pain.

Did he really hurt her so much that it would drive her to seek this self-destructive behavior? For force's sake, if she needed physical release that badly she should at least get it from someone who cared about her.

He finally heard her open the door and she looked up at him. Her expressive grey eyes telegraphing surprise at his being there.

"You're home." Ben said softly, "I was worried about you."

Lyssa shrugged, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how late it was."

"You should have called." He replied, looking at her, drinking in the sight.   He was slowly, little by little, letting himself feel a wide range of emotions. This latest one tasted like Jealousy and anger. He was a little worried at first but felt those emotions slowly melt into worry for her. In spite of the emotional rollercoaster he was on, a part of him was realizing that the shadowy emotions were just as important to feel as the light.

Lyssa stared at him as if he had parts on order. "I didn't think I should have and woken up Luke."

"Something could have happened on the way home." He insisted.

Lyssa arched an eyebrow, "Really? The way from Winchels and our place is so safe I could walk it."

Kenobi blinked, "Winchels? That's where you have been going all this time?"

Lyssa nodded, "Yes, I was working on a quilt for Luke's bed since he gets cold at night. See?" She held of a patchwork quilt made of soft browns, blues and greens. "Where did you think I was going?"

Kenobi at once felt relief wash over him at hearing she hadn't been there and embarrassment at his own trips. He suddenly realized that it must have nearly killed her each time he went out, the same way it nearly killed him tonight. Only she had to have known damn well where he was and what he was doing.

He lowered his eyes, "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Lyssa smiled slightly, "It's alright Ben. It's been a long time since you've been there." With that she walked out of the common room into her bedroom.

Ben had a hard time discerning if she meant the street or his state of mind.

***

Part 12

Ben knocked on the door to Winchel's house to pick Luke up from his latest visit to the children there. Luke had been adopted as a default little brother. As a result Lyssa encouraged him to visit often.

Winchel opened the door and looked up at him with cool blue eyes, "Ben Kenobi. How pleasant to see you." Her voice indicating it was anything but. "You are early to pick up Luke so I cannot assume you are here for him."

"I need to ask you for advice about Lyssa." He said softly feeling very uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze.

Winchel finally relented and stepped aside, "Go to the Kitchen, we can talk safely there."

After settling down on opposite sides of the table with a steaming cup of tea in each other's hands, Whichel started off, "You are an idiot, Kenobi."

"I know." He murmured

"Lyssa is probably one of the best things that ever happened to you and you treat her like she's a glorified droid. " Winchel continued staring at him with contempt in her eyes.

He lowered his eyes to stare at his Tea, "I want to change that, but I haven't the least idea as to how. Each time I reach out, she runs away."

Winchel threw her hands up in the air, "What did you expect? To suddenly change and have everything be alright. Of course she'd be suspicious of what you wanted. You've abused her so long that the only way you'll be able to get her now is if she reached out to you."

Ben looked up at her, "I know, and I want to encourage her to reach, but I don't know how. I'm lost. Help me, please."

Winchel stared at him for a while before sighing, "Damn, she was right. It's those eyes that kill you."

"Pardon?" He asked

Winchel shook her head, "I don't believe I'm doing this. I swore to myself I'd protect her from you if it came to this and tell you to go and shove yourself where the sun don't shine like you richly deserved."

"So you will help me?" he asked hopeful

Winchel shook her head, "Boy, you better be a ride that was worth waiting six years for."

Ben felt his cheeks color slightly at that comment. His mission wasn't simply the crude object of getting Lyssa to come to his bed. He was finding emotions very addictive. It was like suddenly beginning to see everything in color instead of a black and white outline. He knew the pain of not being able to feel his love reciprocated. He wanted desperately to know the joys of sharing it.

Not to mention it would make Lyssa a hell of a lot happier. It seemed as if she smiled and laughed freely with everyone except him. He had this irrational desire to see a smile on her face and know he was the one who put it there. It had become an all consuming mission in his life.

"Thank you." He said softly

Winchel shook her head, "First you have to change your attitude. Be more open and affectionate."

"I have been." He protested.

Winchel shook her head, "Not to her, to Luke. Luke needs your open love and affection far more then she does. Luke is also the one thing she cares about above anything else. You prove to her that you can be trusted with Luke's heart, soul and emotional stability, she's more likely to trust you with hers."

"That will take a long time." Ben frowned.

Winchel smirked, "Oh really? And Six years of waiting on her side isn't long? Patience is a virtue my dear sir."

Ben felt a small smile tease the edges of his lips. His old nemesis, his own impatience. Yoda was pointing it out to him when he was a child. If he hadn't learned by now, he was never going to. "The sooner I heal her wounds the better. She's healed so much in me. It's time to repay the favor."

Winchel suddenly gave him a true brilliant smile. Ben then saw the devastating beauty that once lay in the woman's wrinkled face. "That's the spirit lad. Just for that, I am going to actively help you. Let's see if together we can herd this girl into your arms."

***

Part 13

Ben never thought he would really enjoy playing with children. However, Luke and he ended up in a rather fierce tickle-pillow fight. It was so easy to bask with the joy and laughter radiating off the child. He shared the joy back with him measure for measure.

Smiles were coming more easily now. It was the best revenge against the Emperor and the only revenge a Jedi could take. To live so the Emperor's efforts to crush him held no power over him.

Ben suddenly knew what the Jedi were made to do. The Jedi were built to protect moments like this for families they had never met. They fought so that all people could feel these simple but oh so important joys in their life. Strange, he never knew what it was he was protecting until now. Maybe that is why the Jedi failed so badly.

Maybe the fall of the republic wasn't his sole fault, but the fault of the Jedi as a whole. They were fighting for peace and Justice but didn't really know why and for what purpose.

He began to see just how wrong the council was and why Qui-gon fought them so much. Qui-gon was simply a head of his time. Qui-gon knew there was something wrong with the Jedi but if asked, he didn't think Qui-gon would have been able to tell him what. Qui-gon instinctively understood what the real purpose of the Jedi was from his connection to the living force but he couldn't put it into words.

He was reminded of an expression that his master was fond of at moments like this. "If something is worth having, it's also worth losing." Ben thought that his master meant things like vanity or possessions. Who knew it also applied to the very cause that the Jedi fought for over thousands of years and countless lives?

But now was not the time for abstract thought. He had a six year old menace to chase around the living room. "I have you now!" Ben growled as he finally caught up to Luke. He grabbed both of Luke's feet as he stood up, causing the child to hang upside down in mid air. "Tell me where your hid the treasure, Copper!"

The treasure was a bit of ribbon that they had found in the cracks of the seat cushions. Luke had expressed pleasure at finding the bright silky bauble and Ben had wanted to see it. Luke playfully dodged Ben's efforts and soon the whole thing evolved into a game of Pirates and Police.

Brave Police Captain Skywalker simply giggled at the sensation of being held upside-down. He managed to get out through his laughter, "I'll never tell, you Evil Pirate King! Never!" With that Luke reached out and tickled his knees.

Ben laughed as he tried to dance away, "Oh...Luke... That's not fair!"

"Get him Luke!" they heard Lyssa cry.

"You are supposed to help me out!" Ben called while trying to dance his legs away from a pair of tiny, wickedly inventive and agile hands. Each step away simply brought one leg closer to the little conniving monster.

Lyssa snorted, "Why? Big bad Jedi can't handle a six-year-old child? But if you insist." Lyssa then swiftly knelt down and tickled Luke's ribs. Luke immediately stopped tickling Ben and wrapped his arms around his ribs as he shrieked with laughter. Ben gently lowered Luke to the ground as Lyssa kept tickling the boy. Finally the boy and the woman stopped and both of them looked up at Ben.

"Say, Captain, If I switch sides now, will my crimes against society be forgiven?" Lyssa asked mildly

Captain Skywalker frowned a bit as he considered, "I don't know."

Lyssa smiled as sweetly as only a traitor could, "I'll tell you where the rest of his treasure is."

Captain Skywalker grinned, "Deal."

Ben knew he was in trouble. Suddenly Luke ticked the backs of his knees causing him to go crashing to the floor while Lyssa attacked his ribs. He lay helpless under the attentions of Luke getting his feet and knees and Lyssa tickling his elbows and ribs. He was laughing so hard he was having difficulty breathing.

Finally mercy came in the form of Widow Winchel calling out, "Luke! I'm here."

Luke stopped and stood back, "Oops! Time for me to go!" He then ran about the home gathering his stuff for his first sleep over. Luke was excited about sleeping away from home for the first time. He called it a 'grand adventure'.

"Have a wonderful time Luke. Remember, you can call us if you want to come home at any time. Don't worry about it being late." Lyssa smiled and opened her arms while she sat on the ground. Luke made a beeline for her and wrapped his arms around her. They hugged warmly, exchanged kisses then parted.

Luke then bounced over to Ben and hugged him. Ben genuinely returned the boy's warmth and affection and wished him well on his first night away. With the knowledge the people he loved, loved him in return Luke flew out the door without a single look back.

"He's growing fast, isn't he?" Lyssa commented.

Ben nodded, "That he is. I sometimes feel as if I am growing up along with him. I never had a mother or father. Well, not that I remember much anyway. I was taken at one to begin training."

Lyssa grew quiet before her cheeks blushed at seeing how close they were sitting on the floor. "I.. I suppose I better be going now."

"Why?" He asked softly his eyes locking with hers, "Are you expecting anyone?"

She stammered, her beautiful grey eyes wide, "Well, no, I-"

"Neither am I." He replied, absorbing her presence, so close to him. He felt closer to her then he ever had before. He didn't want to lose that. He watched as she swallowed nervously. He just continued to look at her, pleading silently for her gather her courage to take that one step forward. He'll carry her the rest of the way.

"Please." She whispered and hurriedly looked away.

"Please what?" He asked.

She slowly leaned forward and kissed him. The shock of it had him frozen in place. It was just a bare touching of lips to lips, but the warmth of it went through his system and thawed the last place inside him that was frozen from Anakin's cold touch of betrayal.

She pulled back and he stared at her. Her lovely grey eyes were hidden from his view as her entire face was tilted downward to look at her own knees. "Please forgive me." her voice was so soft he barely heard it, "I've been wanting to do that for a very long time. I'll never to do it again, I just wanted this once."

He blinked. She was trusting that he would be the feeling person he seemed this afternoon and forgive her trespass and not the capriciously cold creature he was. If that wasn't a step taken in blind faith, he didn't know what was.

He reached out and tilted her chin up to see her face. It was a frozen mask, as if she was waiting for the axe to fall. He didn't reply, he simply leaned forward and returned her kiss. Only he was a little more active then she was. He used his lips to try and coax a response from hers. At first he felt her response was automatic, more a reaction then anything else.

Then he buried one of his hands into her soft brown curls to cup her head closer and slid the other around her waist to encourage her to press her body to his. He felt her own arms slip shyly around his ribcage, as if afraid he'd bat them away. That soft touch moved him more then he thought possible. Her body, which was strung tighter then a harp string, just melted into his arms. Reluctantly he pulled his lips away from hers.

He smiled into those eyes, gone dark with confusion. "There are a lot more comfortable places to do this." He whispered as he tilted his head to the hallway leading to his bedroom, "Over there for one."

He watched a charming blush spread over her cheeks, turning her from something plain to something extraordinary. He decided he much preferred having the lady look beautiful when he wanted her to. Someone who was always beautiful attracted too much outside attention. This sight was only for him.

Fine, it was greedy of him to want this bit of beauty for himself alone. He'd cheerfully answer to the Council for it when he joined the force.

She gave a shy smile and a nod. He stood up and extended a hand to help her to her feet. Once she was there, he didn't let go of the hand but used it to lead her to his room. At first he thought she wasn't going to follow him, but she did. Step by step, she let him lead her.

It was at the doorway that she stopped. He was already inside and was about to pull her over the threshold when he sensed the resistance. He turned to watch her as she took in the sight of his room. He was about to offer to wait but she spoke first.

"This isn't real." Came the soft disbelieving whisper.

He looked at her for a while before reaching out and touching her cheek, "What?"

She blinked rapidly and he saw she was fighting back tears, "I'd say I'm dreaming but I haven't had a dream about you that was this nice."

Suddenly he too found himself fighting back tears. "Have I been so cold to you that this would seem unreal?" She didn't answer that. She didn't need to. They both knew the answer was a resounding yes. "Please come in"

He whispered, "You're the only thing standing between me and the ice."

Slowly but surely, she took that one step inside the room and into his arms.

***

Part 14

Ben woke up at first light as he always did. Frankly he was surprised to be awake this soon, they had just fallen asleep a few hours before. He smiled as he gently rubbed the back of the woman in his arms. Her mop of brown curly hair shifted a bit on his chest as she found a better position before settling back to sleep. He grinned as that brought thoughts of the night before to his mind.

Neither of them feeling in any particular rush had gone very slowly with each other. She was frightened she would wake up and he would disappear from her arms and he was worried she'd bolt at a wrong touch.

So they had gone slow and careful, savoring each touch for it's self. He could sense that each step forward that she made was an exercise in overcoming terror. But slowly her touches grew bolder and less hesitant. He could feel her shimmering joy grow inside her, like a soap bubble. Holding himself back was probably the greatest test his control ever had. His body was clamoring to get on with it and show the girl that the wait was worth while. But his mind and his heart knew that he had to let her set the pace.

So he let her lead, reveling in her touch as her hands explored his body. Every once in a while she would pull back for a long moment and just look at him. Such wonder and love shining in her eyes he found himself fighting back tears. He didn't know what he had done in this life to earn it, but it was here, a precious gift for him alone to hold and treasure.

Her touches were as arousing as they were calming. Most of the time he thought of sex as something that burned off very quickly, like setting fire to straw. Brilliant and hot only for a few moments before there was nothing but ash. This was different. She was stoking a fire that was made not of straw but of Coal. Hotter then any straw fire could ever be and yet would last far beyond this one encounter, probably the rest of this life and into the next.

When it was his turn to touch her he was practically shaking with the violence of the emotions coursing through him. Love, desire, happiness and joy. He wanted desperately to show her how he felt. But she wasn't a Jedi, so projecting it for her to read on the force was out of the question. So he decided to reason with her body instead. Instead of showing her his emotions, he'd inspire the same ones in her.

He worshipped the casing that held the bright spirit he came to love. While Luke was to be the best of him and the hope for the future, she was the one that showed him what his best was. He very much wanted to have their souls touch, but that could only come when they were both joined in the force. Instead he wanted to show his teacher in all that was ordinary that he had learned how special ordinary could be.

Yet even here where he thought he was the master, he too learned a lesson. Sex is a bodily process that is unique in that is maximizes two opposing systems in the brain. One was the system prepares the body for action, like speeding up metabolism. The other system slows it down and brings the body down from action. They have to work in delicate balance with each other to create a successful mating. He didn't realize that this principle of opposing forces applied to what happened in the force as well.

Love and care was completely of the light and made him want to leave her weak with pleasure, but it was lust from the dark that allowed him the means. He had never seen this before since he had never let his emotions open during this process. Like every other Jedi he only relieved the chemical imbalance of his body when necessary. Now that he let himself wide open he saw quite clearly that the force was involved as well.

It had been a shock to him to see the two forces he thought were in opposition to each other working in tandem for a common goal. The light of love and care gave him the gloves he needed to work with the dark. He could see quite clearly how it was a slippery thing and could all too easily escape his control, but he wasn't afraid that it would. Once again, the light protected him from that.

It was like watching a race of two opposites as they twisted around each other, getting closer and closer, spinning faster and faster. Tightening the coils in both of them.

He watched with no small amount of primitive male pride when she went to pieces in his arms. As she trembled, gasping his name, he felt that it was the first thing in his life that he had ever done completely right.

The coil hadn't snapped then, it had only released the pressure a little. So he set about tightening it again with the full intention of snapping it, driving them both over the edge.

Once again the two opposing sides of the force gathered and danced around each other, getting closer and closer. Release came when they touched and thier world exploded in pleasure. The dark when it touched the light destroyed it's self and had torn the light apart, causing the white to fracture into all the colors of the rainbow like it had hit a prism.

He had lain on top of her at the end, shaking from head to foot by the physical after shock and the mental revelation. The light side wasn't the absence of all emotion, but presence of them all. Every being born in this universe was the product of the mating of light and dark proving we were creatures of both. The light when fractured separated out into all the emotions one could feel.

After he had rolled on his back to try and recover, Lyssa had snuggled up to him, clearly exhausted from her ordeal as well. He bent his lips down to claim one more kiss from her. "I love you." He had whispered. After all, he did. There was an unconscious simplistic wisdom in her, no matter how complicated he though he saw life, it always could be put into perspective.

He had to smile. In his small way, he had experienced unifying the force and had seen what would happen when it was. Light and dark destroyed each other in a way to potentially create life.

Maybe Anakin could come back from the dark and touch the light again. Ben had to wonder what Anakin would create in the Nova it would bring.

Lyssa stirred in his arms again and seemed as if she was fully coming to wake up. "Good morning sleepy." The feeling of her warm naked flesh moving against his made all abstract philosophical thoughts scatter to the six directionals and bring his focus very sharply back to the here and now.

Her head popped up and a lazy smile crossed her face before she dropped her head back to his chest. "Good morning."

He reached out and traced idle patterns into her arm, "Are you rested?" he asked, a clear alternative motive behind his question besides mere morning chatter.

Her head popped up and on her face was an expression of utter disbelief as she took in the chrono time and the expression on his face. "Oh good lord of the suns, we just went to sleep three hours ago."

"'So?" He asked blandly as his hands started to rove more actively, hoping to bring her body to the same state of alertness his was in. Now that he knew this wasn't something to be worried about corrupting his soul, he really wanted them to enjoy the ride again.

Balance was moderation. Frankly if he was going to find some balance in his life he had a good forty years of this to catch up on.

She shook her head, mouth frowned in disapproval but her eyes told a far different story. "Have I created a monster out of the man I love?"

He smirked at her, "If you are referring to me, then yes, I fear you have."

"Oh good. Just wanted to make sure." She grinned wrinkling her nose that contained those twelve freckles he adored. Then she leaned up and kissed him, the time for talking was over.

***

Part 15

Luke returned home about noon, just in time for Lunch. As soon as he stepped inside, he could tell the tension that was between Lyssa and Ben was over. It was completely gone. They were happy.

Luke grinned as he ran into the kitchen to be where his two favorite people in the whole universe were, thinking they'd be happier now. He really liked being around happy people. It made him happy too. He could sense on the force that they were very happy at the moment. It was a soft warm hum to him.

He stopped in horror at the entry way and stared up at the two of them. He felt sick at what he saw was happening that made them so happy.

"EWWWW!" He called out causing Ben to pull away from Lyssa

"What's wrong Luke?" Ben asked

Luke frowned, his stomach felt like it was upside down. "You were KISSING. That's GROSS."

Lyssa bit her bottom lip as she lowered her face, trying to hide her smile. Luke could sense she found his reaction funny. For that matter, so did Ben.

"Well Luke, this WAS your idea." Ben reasoned, "You did say we should love each other and be happy."

"But I didn't say you could KISS." He cried, feeling utterly betrayed. If he had known them loving each other would mean them kissing he would have thought longer about saying anything to Ben.

Lyssa just turned her face into Ben's shoulder as her shoulders shook. He could sense her laughing and that made Luke that much more upset. This wasn't funny! This was serious!

Ben however smiled, "Luke, when two adults love each other they have this nasty tendency to kiss." Ben's smile grew wider, "And they like it."

Luke glared at Ben, he knew when he was being teased. Lyssa then popped her head up and smiled at him, "I'm sorry Luke, but it's true."

Luke bit his lip and contemplated this a bit. It was really yucky seeing them kiss, but they did seem much happier. "PROMISE you'll keep each other happy?"

Lyssa popped her head up from Ben's shoulder and nodded, "We promise."

Luke frowned, "OK. But don't kiss too much. And no Kissing with anyone else around. I don't want anyone else grossed out." As long as they were happy, he could make a bit of a sacrifice and suffer through them kissing.

Ben nodded seriously, the corner of his mouth was twitching. "I promise to restrict our kisses to be in private. Do we have your permission to hold hands in public?"

Luke sighed, "I guess that isn't QUITE as icky as kissing. But don't do it too often." He warned with a wagging finger before marching off to his room to put things away. UGH. Big people. They were so confusing.

***

Luke sighed as he drove with his Uncle and the two new droids over the Jundland wastes to Mos Eisley. While he knew that some parts of the story of his past was the truth bended a bit, they had explained to him he would know the entire truth when the time came. It was only when the droids came and brought the message that he realize just how much of his past was kept from him.

He had stormed out of the hutt angry at the two people he had called his parents for all his life. Before he and Ben left for the space port he had barely said goodbye to Lyssa he was so wounded. He knew he had already forgiven the both of them in his heart. It was just taking a while for it to reach his pride.

He sighed as he caught a glimpse of the man he had called uncle out loud but father in the privacy of his mind. He was an odd man. There was greatness in him and he had knowledge that many would kill for. Yet he languished here in the burning desert looked upon as a crazy old hedge wizard. Given the stories he told about his past, it would seem as if any number of powerful families would have hid him in relative comfort.

When he thought of his aunt he knew why Ben stayed. Ben was happy where he was. He didn't aspire or seem to want anything more. Whenever Luke said he craved adventure, Ben had always smiled sadly and told him that after Luke had his first 'adventure' to tell him that.

Luke smiled a bit to himself. They seemed like such an unlikely pair and yet somehow they fit perfectly together. Growing up Luke could always count on seeing them curled up together on a couch in the evenings, reading together and giggling like teenagers on a first date.

As a child he thought their kissing was just gross. As a teenager he had been embarrassed and convinced that they should be more demure in their maturity. Now as he approached his twenties, he saw what they had together was beautiful. Or at least his heart and his friends said that. But his friends didn't have to eat off that table the next day after he walked in and saw them.

"Luke, turn south. I see something." His uncle said softly

Luke did as he asked and after a few minutes he saw the thin trail of black smoke reaching for the sky. When they arrived they saw the destroyed sand crawler and the killed Jawas. Luke got out and examined the clan markings on the cloaks of the Jawas. "These are the same Jawas that sold us the droids. Look, Banta tracks, spears from the sand people but, I've never heard of them hitting anything this big before."

"The sand people didn't do this. These tracks are side by side, sand people always ride single file to hide their numbers. Only imperial sharp shooters could be so accurate in their blasts." Ben intoned, his voice sounding strangely flat.

Luke stood up, "Well, if the imperials tracked the droids here then they could have found out who they sold them too and that would lead them right for…. HOME." Luke felt a sick sensation in the pit of his stomach as he leapt to the conclusion. A small internal tug pulled at him to tell him he was right.

"Luke. Come back." He barely heard Ben say as he ran for the speeder and took off.

When he arrived back home the flames were still burning. He saw Lyssa's burned body laid out execution style in front of the entryway. "No." He whispered the denial but his eyes simply told him the truth. The only mother he had ever known was dead. Murdered by imperial storm troopers.

Luke felt his heart crack in half as he dropped to his knees before the body and cried.

***

Luke honestly didn't remember the trip as he drove back to Ben. Ben was waiting for him while the droids burned the bodies of the dead Jawas. Ben looked at him with a broken heart showing clearly in his eyes. "There was nothing you could have done Luke. If we had been there, they would have killed us too. And the droids would have been in the hands of the Imperials."

It was then Luke surprised himself. He should have felt angry at Ben for leaving Lyssa behind, but one look at his mentor's face showed that Ben was grieving as deeply as he. Ben had left with Luke that morning with the belief that Lyssa would be safe. They had both assumed that. They were both at fault.

Instead he felt admiration for his uncle for being able to think through his grief. It was something Luke wasn't able to do yet.

Luke fought back tears, "I never told her good-bye. I was angry and I never said good-bye. I never told her half the things I wanted to."

Ben placed a hand on Luke's shoulder, "She knows Luke. She's one with the force now, in a much better place."

Luke wiped his eyes dry with his sleeve, "I want to go with you. There is nothing for me here. I want to be a Jedi, like my father before me."

Ben's mouth flickered into a small smile, "Revenge Luke?"

Luke's smile was the same as Ben's, "In the only way I can get it. By making sure what happened to me will never happen to another person again."

Ben nodded, "That is exactly what I hoped you would say Luke. Come. We must be going."

***

"I want to go with you." Luke stared at his mentor as they talked inside of the control room on the death star.

Ben's mouth flickered into a small smile, "Your path is different then mine."

Luke suddenly knew what was happening. This mission was suicidal. A person might succeed in making it to the tractor beam to disengage it, but there was no way they could get back. No one who wanted their life would attempt it. That was precisely what Ben was hoping for.

Since Luke had returned saying Lyssa was dead he could see that Ben was functioning more on automatic pilot then anything. Ben was lost without her.

"I'm too old for this Luke." Ben whispered softly, "Conspiracy is for the young. Lyssa and I taught you everything we know about the past and how empires fall. You can find the weak point in this empire and destroy it. I know you can. The new generation must take the reins."

Luke reached out and squeezed Ben's shoulder. "When you see her, tell her I love her."

Ben nodded. Before he left he smiled at Luke, "I never told you this before, but while we aren't related by blood, I have always considered you a son."

Luke smiled and pulled his mentor into a hug for the last time. "Take care."

"I will." With that Ben ran out of the control room and Luke himself sealed the door on his past. It was time now for both of them to face their future.

End