Rating: G
Summary: While Obi-Wan is off coping, Anakin has been left to his own devices.
Notes: This is a companion piece to another story of mine, of the same title. [Archivist's note: See Mourning II] While reading that story isn't required, I feel these two compliment each other very well.
Feedback: I need it, I love it, I want some more of it.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never has been, never will be, unless Uncle George decides to bequeath the rights unto me as reward for a lifetime of Star Wars worship. Please don’t sue me, as all you will get are a pair of crazy cats and a pile of laundry that never seems to lessen.
I'd seen a lot of dead people before, but usually I was too far away to tell any details. Living on Tattoine, it was a regular thing for people to die for a bunch of reasons, but Mom always tried to keep me away from it. I never knew why, until Master Qui-Gon's funeral, and by then, Mom was too far away for me to run to.
I heard Jar-Jar sigh, but didn't look at him, because I didn't want anyone to notice I was almost crying. All the Jedi seemed so calm, even Obi-Wan, and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be a Jedi, even though the Council had said I couldn't. I wiped at my tears, and looked up at Obi-Wan.
"What will happen to me now?" I asked him. I was very proud that my voice didn't shake too much.
"The Council has granted me permission to train you," he said. "You will be a Jedi, I promise."
I wanted to thank him, but didn't know if I should. Mom would know, but I couldn't ask her. I missed my mom.
When the funeral was over, Jar-Jar and I went with one of the Queen's handmaidens to a room just for us. It was so big; I was worried I'd be asleep before I could even reach the bed. Jar-Jar didn't stay in the room, though, and I kinda got scared being all alone.
Back home, I had a whole bunch of places I could go when I got scared, or angry or just wanted to think for a bit. But on Naboo, I didn't know any good places, so I went to the only place I could think of; the main hangar.
It was kinda comforting to sit hidden between parts for a hyperdrive and an old astromech droid that someone had deactivated then forgotten about. I felt like we all had some in common. I had thought I was gonna be a great Jedi, and then they told me I couldn't ‘cause there was something wrong with me, and then suddenly they said I could, like I could be fixed. But I got left alone again, and I was willing to bet no one had even noticed I was missing yet.
Master Qui-Gon would've noticed. So would've Mom.
Since I was alone, I figured it'd be okay to cry for a while. I was so scared, and cold, and alone, and now I didn't have anyone who wanted to take care of me. Obi-Wan hadn't liked me from the start, I knew it, and he was probably arguing with Master Yoda that he didn't want to be stuck with an annoying slave kid.
I didn't blame Obi-Wan for not liking me, but I was sure Master Qui-Gon hadn't meant to hurt him. It just kinda happened, and even Master Qui-Gon couldn't take back the hurt.
Master Qui-Gon couldn't do anything anymore, I remembered as I wiped my nose on my sleeve.
I wondered if Jedi went to an afterlife, like the one Mom used to tell me stories about when I was real little. She said it was like a paradise, and no one had to do anything they didn't want to, and everyone was happy and free. I hoped Master Qui-Gon was there, ‘cause he was such a good Jedi, and he always did his best to help people, like me and Mom.
I don't know how long I sat there, all by myself. But after a while, I heard what sounded like a cane and shuffling footsteps. Master Yoda came around from behind the box of hyperdrive parts, and gave me what I guess was a smile.
"All right, you are?" he asked me in his weird way.
"Yes, sir," I said.
"Wash your face, you should," he said, and held my hand, "before to your new master we go. Needs you, he does, but know it, he does not."
"Ye-yes sir," I said, and followed him to the nearest ‘fresher room.
It took me a while to finally get ready to see Obi-Wan, ‘cause I didn't think Master Yoda was right about him needing me. He'd seemed fine at Master Qui-Gon's funeral, and I would probably just get in the way now.
We got to bottom of the tower where the funeral was, and I looked up at the sky. The sun was just up, and the air was a bit warmer. I shivered anyhow.
"Master Yoda, sir," I said as he opened the door, "I don't want to be a bother."
"A bother, you are not," he said. "Now to your master, you must go."
I walked up the steps real slow, ‘cause I was pretty sure when I got up to the top, Obi-Wan was just going to tell me it was all a mistake, and I had to go away. But when I got up there, Obi-Wan didn't even notice me. He was facing the sun, his eyes closed and his arms open. I figured he was meditating or something, so I waited as quiet as I could until he was done.
Finally, Obi-Wan, turned around. He smiled at me, but I could see he was sad, too. It was in his eyes how much he missed Master Qui-Gon, just like I did.
"I'm scared," I said, and hoped it wouldn't make him mad.
"It's okay," he said, and knelt down to hug me, and I didn't feel so alone anymore.
~~~Fin~~~
