Just a statistic...And highly outdated. Now updated as of 01.30.03
My name is Timothy Richards. This page will function as a bit of a biography revolving around myself. In addition to my own self-depreciating rhetoric...I will have quotations from a number of people whom I've grown close to...I'll try to get the least complimentary, and most slanderous quotes I possibly can. For now, deal with this:
I work at a job I would prefer to not disclose. It is a means to and end and nothing more. I am currently making preparations to enroll at Shepherd College next semester to study Journalism and Electronic Media. Mmm...dual major. I haven't updated this since I moved back from New York, so let me go over my new life with you. I tend to spend alot of time with my friends Kevin & Becky, April & Ron (starting to see a trend? all my friends are couples. Woe betide me). Max, Dave, Randell, Stephanie...any number of individuals whom I've either clung to since High School or have recently walked into my life.
I am 6'1". I may be of slightly leaner stature than average. I've quite a few circumspect scars, merely from a lifetime of living a bit too carelessly. Now that my hair is shoulder-length again, I'm almost happy. Idiotic thing to cut it off, really. But I suppose I needed it, if only to remind myself of my identity.
I'm a very passionate individual. I'm presently a part of two bands. One being Chyldren of Apathy, and the other as of yet unnamed. I'm hoping the name "Lucid" will be accepted by the others. I really think that would be a great name to define the sound. Borderlining somewhere between Tool and older NIN I think, when all is said and done. I vocalize. I don't say "sing" because I'm not always singing. Usually, I do project with a sense of harmony and depth, but sometimes, at pivotal moments, its necessary to scream or growl. You know.
I'm moving on with my life. The events of the past are really less than a memory...more like a scar...a big...nasty scar. I cannot claim to have not been calloused and embittered by my recent experiences, or my life in general...but the world just has a terrible time in its attempts to break me. I always seem to bounce back, stronger and always slightly more twisted than before. Thanks for the genes, Dad.
I think I have a future...provided I don't blow my brains out before it gets here.
I'm also a writer and an artist...if you can call any of it writing or art. I honestly don't do it for anyone but myself, anymore. I just need to vent all the vomit in my soul. My artistic expressions are my common bind to most of the people that I know. Nearly all of my acquaintances have come through my expression, through one form or another.
I enjoy debate...I enjoy making people question themselves and their philosophy. I am the Devil Himself in intellectual conversation, rather than simply playing "Devil's Advocate". I am incredibly informed on most of the major philosophies...particularly Christianity (KNOW THY ENEMY). I am even a touch meglomaniacal...believing that the world would be a better place were it unified under one rule. And who better to lead the masses than myself? This is, of course, a pipe dream. Unless I truly am the Antichrist...which I have not yet ruled out as a possibility.
TESTIMONIALS.
Below, I am assembling the perceptions many of my peers have of me. Expect this to grow as time goes on. I really would enjoy a first-person narrative in the style of free association...but I won't trouble those I've come to call friends with such a waste of time. At any rate...Enjoy.
Tim - Timothy - Tim O' Thee Narcissistic maybe, but most often that comes from a lifetime of being the only one you can rely on, whether one wants to believe it or not.
He's done well. He doesn't believe that, either. He's still here, against most odds, that should be evidence enough. If there were DNA testing for accomplishment, Tim would be OJ's defense team convincing you why it doesn't matter, he just wasn't there. At the same time, he's his own billboard...a painted face, plastered for your notice, your enjoyment. "See ME!" But don't see me.
Tim - is also one of the deepest, most intuitive and introspective people I know. Yet he unveils himself in the reflection of others. He sees people. He sees right through them. He doesn't believe his own eyes.
And he relies on the beliefs of others as a means of believing in himself. It's why he asked for his friend's opinions of him - under the guise of a quotes about Tim webpage. I fear most people will give him just that. Tim is the most creative and talented person I know. Stop.
He will tell you what you think, ask you what you think and believe nothing you say when you tell him the truth. He can't trust you. Yet everything inside him aches to trust. He cannot trust you.
He will be able to, when he realizes it's not his fault. When he realizes the weakness in others is their own shortcoming and not his fate or an inadequacy of his own...or aimed at him. That he doesn't need to build a wall to shut them out, but take down the bricks to let them in. That a wall keeps the bad out, but won't let the good in.
Tim demands the world be fair, needs to be treated fairly, knows it isn't, but doesn't believe it's the best the world has to offer. And that he has the power to make changes. Tim will make it better, give so that he receives...so everyone receives. Tim will be rich. Among the richest...and may have no money.
Tim hates shallow and portrays it the best.
Tim hates empty and will show you vacancy.
Tim despises evil and mirrors the cursed.
Tim gives what he's been told you expect of him. What they've told him they expect of him.
Tim has met the devil. And Tim is afraid.
And Tim is a boy inside the face of a man. With scars on every inch of himself, from those who have hurt him and those who have tried to save him. Every one scar is beautiful and glassy, thin and impenetrable. Tim shines as a star against the black velvet of night he thinks he is.
Tim is Shrek. Tim is Cinderella. Tim is Simba, a boy who will be King.
And Tim is breaking out and striking out and demanding and commanding. Unbreakable and Shattering. Whole and in pieces. And Uncomfortably Numb.
His Mask of Apathy is slipping.
And Tim is Love. Tim is Forgiveness. Tim is also Justice and Grace and Bravery and Courage and Change. And Tim is Healing. And Tim is Love.
And Tim is loved. Unconditionally.
And Tim needs to want to love himself as unconditionally.
Inside the complexity of this man is a lump of coal that only needs a spark. And on his cold surface, needs only a blanket of sincere arms. He is a child of God with an infant spirit. And he will lead us with His Voice because, Tim is the Voice of an Angel who has seen inhumanity and protects Humanity with a sledgehammer.
Tim knows his Worth, knows he is deserving...now he only needs to Believe it. And know that metamorphosis begins with the dormant gene, Hope.
Let him know my mind is not made up and that I am not dead. I am changing and open and just as raw. And no matter what he takes from my view of him, let him know it does not matter.
The only thing that does, is what Tim believes of himself.
in spite of herself,
Note from Tim-o-Thee:
p.s. - I'll be "defending Humanity with a sledgehammer" until my dying breath...
nancy
Thank you Nancy, for believing in me when I failed to believe in myself. I've learned to love myself, and more importantly, to forgive myself for my failure. I'm content to direct my hate more constructively, now, that I've been sanctified in the ashes of my unique ressurection. I'm forever in your debt. With Honor and Love Forever...
