Murphy An' His Bricks

Dear Sir, I write this note to you, to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight
Me body is all black 'n' blue, Me face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why Murphy's, not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But I tossed them down from such a height, t'was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the ladders, in me hod!

Now shiftin' all those bricks by hand, it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrow, and secured a rope below
But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
THAT A BARROW, FULL OF BUILDING BRICKS, WAS HEAVIER THAN ME!!

And so when I untied the rope, the barrow fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket, 'till to my dismay I found
THAT HALF-WAY UP, I MET THE BARROW COMING DOWN!!

Now the barrow broke me shoulder, as to the ground it speed
And when I reached the top, I banged the pully with ME HEAD!!
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow
And the barrow spilt out half the bricks, from fourteen floors below

And when these bricks fallen, from the barrow to the floor
I then out-weighed the barrow, and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
And half way down I met the barrow, once again

Now the force of this collision, half-way down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions, and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell toward the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks, the barrow had scattered round

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past the worst
But the barrow hit the pully wheel, and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go of the rope

The barrow then grew heavier, it started down once more
And it landed right across me, as I lay there on the floor
It broke 3 ribs and my left arm, And I can only say
I hope you understand, why Murphy's not at work today!
Author Unknown

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