"In reply to your request to send a cheque, I wish to inform you the present condition of my bank account makes it impossible.
My shattered financial position is due to Union Laws, Liquor Laws, Federal Laws, Mother-in-Laws, and Outlaws.
Through these Laws l am compelled to pay Business Tax, Super Tax, Excise Tax, Sales Tax, Petrol Tax and Amusement Tax (of which I have none).
Even my Brains are Taxed.

I am required to hold a Business Licence, Car Licence, Dog Licence and Marriage Licence for my own safety.
I am required to carry Life Insurance, Liability Insurance, Fire Insurance, Accident Insurance and quite a few others that I can not remember.
My business is so governed that I no longer know, nor can I find out, just who owns it.

I am constantly Inspected, Suspected and Disrepected.
I am Examined, Summoned, Fined and Compelled to supply an inexhaustible supply of money for every known Need, Desire or Hope of the human race.
I can honestly tell you that excepting for the miracle that happened I could not enclose this money.
The wolf has come to the door so often that it now sleeps in the kitchen.
Last week it had pups.
I sold them and here is the money."