I LEAVE
To my Wife -
My overdraft, maybe she can explain it.
To my Son -
Equity on my car, he'll have to work to meet the payments.
To my Banker -
My soul, he's got a mortgage on it anyway.
To my Neighbour -
My clown suit, he'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To Rural Adjustment Board -
My unpaid bills, they took some real chances on me and I want to do the same for them.
To Australian Wheat Board -
My remaining wheat pool equity, they'll need it to pay the wharfies exorbitant pay rates.
To my Farm Advisor -
My farm plan, maybe he can understand it.
To Local Shire Council -
My pile of discarded shock absorbers and blown tyres. I suggest they make appropriate deductions on my overdue rates.
To the Junk Man -
My machinery, he's had his eyes on it for years.
To my Undertaker -
A special request, six implements and Fertilizer Dealers for Pall Bearers please, they are used to carrying me.
To the Weather Man -
Rain, sleet and hail for the funeral please, no sense in having nice weather now.
To the Grave Digger -
Don't bother, the hole I am in should be big enough.
To the Monument Maker -
Carve the epitaph something like this,
Under this stone a farmer lies,
No one laughs, no one cries,
Where he has gone and how he fares,
No one knows and no one cares.