December 23,1996
Dear Br. Founder:
As we look back at the last Christmas season and review the gifts we received, how many of them did we actually want or how many of them really brought joy or happiness to our lives? Probably very few.
When we endeavor to purchase gifts, especially for men, we often
fall back upon the old standby of after shave lotion, a colorful
tie, or socks not knowing what else to give. But how many bottles
of after shave lotion can a man use in a lifetime.
I would like to suggest to you, my dear brother in Christ, whom
I have never met, but who, nevertheless, is my brother that there
is a better way of giving but a way that takes more thought, effort,
and love then is commonly expended at holiday seasons.
Several months ago, my sister gave me a pair of heavy socks when
we were going to hike the Appalachian trail. She thought these
socks would protect my feet from blistering on the trail and insisted
that I wear them. However, I knew, from experience, that this
type of sock actually caused my feet to sweat and blister and
would cramp my feet in the hiking boots. She neither consulted
me regarding my desire for socks nor accepted my explanation for
why I would not wear them. Instead, she choose to be offended
at my rejection of her gift. Now, I ask you, was she actually
thinking of my welfare and happiness or of her own happiness over
her generous act of benevolence?
It take more time, tact, and greater love to ascertain the preferences
of a recipient of our generosity then it does to give them something
we think they need or ought to have. For example, would you give
candy and potato chips to a fat person, a copy of Playboy magazine
to a man who liked pornography, a box of cigars to a Christian
man whom you knew liked to smoke, or rock and roll records to
a young person if you despised this type of music? Would we give
a gift that has absolutely no practical value to us or too no
one else either except to the one for whom we are giving it?
Isn’t the purpose of benevolence or giving to bring joy to
the recipient? If this is true, then giving them something they
NEED, no matter how important it may seem, if this is not what
they actually WANT, isn’t really generosity, it is selfishness.
Much that passes for generosity, at Christmas, birthdays, and
anniversaries, is actually selfishness for it benefits only the
giver.
We laugh at some of the things our family and friends give us;
wooden spoons to mount on the dining room wall, a bronzed eagle
for our garage door when we don’t have a garage, bottles
and bottles of after shave lotion, but these gifts are a waste
of money.
How much better to give what the other person desires rather then
what we desire to give them, for by so doing, we demonstrate the
true essence of unconditional, self-sacrificing love, a love that
cares more for the other person’s happiness and well-being
then for our happiness or well-being. Isn’t this the true
spirit of generosity
When I broach this philosophy of giving to others, I receive some
very strange reactions, not the least of which is outrage. Why
someone should be outraged at my suggestion that Christian love
encompasses unconditional giving is truly a surprise until we
realize that most Christians are basically selfish. I am not endeavoring
to criticize Christians but few people truly understand what is
encompassed in Christ’s example of self-sacrificing love.
Christ gave himself without condition to a world that despised
him. He died for humanity, many of whom will ultimately reject
him. He gives us the sunshine and rain without limit for us to
enjoy, even those who turn from Him in anger and hostility. He
loved his enemies and did GOOD to those who despitefully used
him.
Here is no selfish giving, no desire to please self, only a desire
for the good and happiness of others. If we, as Christians, spent
more time getting to know our relatives and friends and our Lord
better we would seek for their happiness rather then our own.
After all, if a fat person is happy and feels loved with a gift
of candy, we fail to represent Christ by withholding that which
would bestow happiness even at the risk of causing a heart attack.
When we give that which is desired, we say, in a practical way,
I love you, we manifest a caring spirit and a tenderness of attitude
that few people see from family or friends. The gift is not the
important thing, the expression of love through the gift is the
essential gift. We give love when we give what is desired, even
if it may not seem to be the best gift. A gift of love is of priceless
value to the one receiving it and often draws them closer to us
in bonds of brotherly affection. The love, thus expressed, is
a manifestation of Christ in a practical manner that speaks louder
then many sermons, Bible studies, or evangelistic tracts. When
we give this type of gift the heart of the recipient is opened
to the divine influence of the Holy Spirit and Christ can make
in roads into the soul that would otherwise be closed to His influence.
So unexpected is the thought behind this type of giving that prejudice
and animosity are disarmed and maybe only for a moment the other
person is receptive to the gospel invitation which is, after all,
of infinite price.
Therefore, the real motivation, behind unconditional giving, is
to spread the gospel of love.
May the Lord richly bless you. Your brother in Christ.
Allen A. Benson