Dear Br. Willie:
I was pleasantly surprised to receive your letter today and decided to write back promptly rather then letting this letter marinate in the holding tank for several weeks. Monday night, just before retiring, I went to the bathroom for a drink of water. Not wearing socks or shoes, I stood before the sink, minding my own business, harming no one, when a mouse ran over my foot. This unbidden and totally unwanted expression of personal affection, from a mouse, was rather disquieting. Last night, I borrowed some mouse poison from our landlord and liberally scattered it in the bedroom closet, as well as under the sink. The poison is in the form of green, foul smelling balls, resembling candy. Lying in bed, last night, I listened as the mice used these candies as bowling balls, picking them up in their mouth then dropping them. I was heartened to realize that they were also eating them, which lead to a heart felt expression, “die mouse, die.”
I just finished writing this letter, when I accidently erased
the last four pages by hitting the wrong computer key, so I’ll
try again. The reason why I include nature pictures with these
letters is to call our minds to God as the Creator. I write to
many brothers around the country, endeavoring to remind them,
in a practical manner, of the existence of a Savior who cares
for us. Most men have lost, if they ever had it, a personal since
of the love of the Lord. By including these pictures, I hope to
inspire them and me, to look at nature as a manifestation of the
love and beneficent care of our Lord, for if he provided such
beauty in the earth, will he not more abundantly provide for our
temporal and spiritual necessities? Also, I want to remind you
that there is a world beyond the prison walls, a world that you
will soon see for yourself, for I believe the end of your imprisonment
is near.
We did not move to Kentucky as I told you we might, we could not
find a driver. Instead, we have decided to move to Colorado in
the Spring or early Summer. You may ask, if we didn’t have
a driver to journey to Kentucky, how can we expect to find someone
to drive us to Colorado, which is somewhat further then Kentucky?
I don’t know the answer to that question, at least not now.
For several years, I have desired to move West, where the buffalo
roam and the Indians, Oops, Native Americans, do there thing,
where men wear cow boy hats, and ride horses, and the mountains
are real mountains, not like these pimples called the Appalachians.
We have talked and prayed about it for several years, then, just
last weekend, we decided to commit ourselves in that direction.
Which leads me to the question I wanted to discuss with you, how
can we ascertain or know God’s will? The answer is not a
simple one for all Christians struggle with this issue. I’m
not going to cite scripture or Spirit of Prophecy quotations,
but give some illustrations from my own experience, which is not
necessarily relevant to anyone else. God has given us an intellect
and reasoning powers and expects us to use them, He has also given
us brothers and sisters with whom we may council to determine
the best course of actions in any specific situation. First, of
course, we ask the Lord’s guidance, seek what council we
may derive from the Bible or Spirit of Prophecy, but often these
sources provide no guidance wether we should move to Kentucky,
Colorado, or remain where we are, therefore, we must use our God
given reasoning powers to answer some of life’s perplexing
problems, believing that God is directing in our decision making
progress. Never has he given us specific guidance in dreams, visions,
flashes of fire from heaven, or other celestial revelations (I
do not intend to demean God by these comments), rather, we often
struggle to determine the best course of action, without any specific
guidance. Seldom, in fact, can we specifically point to any overt
guidance from the Lord, rather, after using all available sources
of help, and arriving at the best conclusion possible, then we
act on our decision.
I want to return to the matter of your autobiography. I believe
you have your answer from the Lord, but, for whatever reason,
you shy away from it. You mentioned several times that you have
thought about writing it for several years. Is not this conviction
from the Holy Spirit. Perhaps the Lord has answered your prayer,
but you shy away from the answer. You have a wonderful experience
and testimony to relate to others. Perhaps, you find it too difficult
to relate, not knowing how it will be received. Having lived in
prison for 13 years (?) you may feel somewhat isolated from society,
but let me assure you brother, that if you write your story with
sensitivity and emotion, it will be well received. I remember
the first time I visited the prison, wondering how I would be
received, wether I would be welcomed or scorned as some do-gooder.
Perhaps, you fear how your story will be received by the general
public. You need not be afraid on this account.
Perhaps you feel you lack the necessary writing skills to adequately
portray the events of your life, or you don’t have the necessary
writing supplies, such as paper, etc., but more probably, you
fear the total disclosure required in giving your testimony. If
so, it is understandable, but, again, you need not fear on this
account. I would be more then willing to proof read your manuscript,
or give you suggestions, listen to your ideas etc., if you desire
the assistance. Christians often place upon God the responsibility
that rightly belongs to us. Facing a problem that we cannot or
don’t want to deal with, we shift the burden upon him which
rightly belongs upon us making him a party to our procrastination
or justification for doing nothing with the expressed opinion
that God hasn’t given positive guidance, when in fact his
guidance is plain and clear, but we don’t want to obey. I
have seen this happen with many Christians.
God does not propose to do for us what lies within our own ability
to do. When we have prayed about a matter, asking for guidance,
counseled with trusted brothers and sisters, sought guidance from
the Bible and Spirit of Prophecy, then we must come to the best
decision possible and act upon it. Time is shorter then you believe,
God desires your testimony to flourish through the printed page,
do not delay further, begin at once to set fourth an outline or
sample chapter.
I have not chosen to enter into a theological or doctrinal discussion
with you about the 1888 message for a specific reason. If I may
speak frankly, brother to brother, your most urgent need is social
friendship rather then a theological dissertation, as important
as that may be. I am glad to hear that you are reading further
into this subject. Yes, it is true that the church rejected the
latter rain, but this was predicted in the experiences of the
Jews at the first crossing of the Jordan river and by Solomon
in his poem entitled the Song of Solomon when his lover rejects
him. Yet, remember that the Jews did cross the Jordan river, Solomon’s
bride did accept Him, and there is no eighth church in Revelation.
God’s church, the present Seventh-day Adventist church is
the remanet church and will repent of her sins and become the
church triumphant. If you remain faithful, you shall have a part
in this triumph. As you become more and more familiar with the
true significance of the 1888 rejection, do not give way to disillusionment
or loose heart for Christ will cleanse His church. The call to
corporate repentance will be headed by His church, and repentance
will be deep and heart felt.
Sevilla and I would like to visit you. Do you know if it is possible
to have our names placed on your visitation list. I don’t
know the details. However, we can only visit weekdays between
8:00 A.M. and 5:00 P.M. Would this be inconvenient for you? Our
Landlord has a flock of dogs penned in a cage behind the building
in which we live. He is feeding them as I write for when he appears
with food, they begin to howl in imitation of a pack of wolves,
with occasional yips and yaps in an inharmonious chorus which
we could do without.
We would be interested in your daily experiences. They may be
routine and monotonous to you, but we would enjoy hearing about
them, what you do with your time etc. Do you catch any of the
news programs or talk shows on television or radio? We especially
enjoy listening to Rush Limbaugh, his commentary, on social topics,
is incisive and whitey. The view, from our second floor apartment,
is of Lake Watagua and a narrow bridge that crosses part of it.
The level is unseasonably low, exposing about forty feet of rocky
shore line making the lake resemble a bathtub half full of water.
The sun is shining in the late afternoon, imparting a bright glow
to the rocks and trees along the shore line. Winter weather is
lovely although I prefer Spring or Fall for winter always reminds
me of death. Please write soon and often. We enjoy hearing from
you.
You mentioned in your letter that you bought a set of EGW 1888
materials. Please let us know of your needs, both spiritual and
temporal. We could have given you a complete set of these books
several weeks ago. We have many resources we can give you free,
but we can’t give them to you if we don’t know your
needs. Again, I am impressed to remind you that your time of imprisonment
is short. Begin at once to consider your future outside of prison.
The Lord has a wonderful future in store for you: wether this
future is eternal or temporal and eternal, I know not, but be
prepared, His coming, both to this earth, and to you personally,
is nearer then we believe.
The paper and printing process, I use, doesn’t do justice
to these photographs. They are prettier then they seem in these
reproductions. (I can’t resist, just one more picture. God
has clothed the earth with wondrous beauty, it is one of my greatest
disappointments that I can’t see and admire this beauty as
I would desire. Everything appears slightly blurred and indistinct.
These photographs look beautiful, but I can’t fully appreciate
them, I hope you appreciate them. Value the eye sight and the
other faculties God has given you for you will mourn over their
loss if deprived of them.) Be of good courage, you are not forgotten
by God or your brothers and sisters. Be ready at a moments notice
to give a testimony for the Lord. May the Lord bless you Your
brother in Christ.
Allen A. Benson