I have been shown that parents generally
have not taken a proper course with their children. They have
not restrained them as they should, but have left them to indulge
in pride, and follow their own inclinations. Anciently, parental
authority was regarded; children were then in subjection to their
parents, and feared and reverenced them; but in these last days
the order is reversed. Some parents are in subjection to their
children. They fear to cross the will of their children,
and therefore yield to them. But just as long
as children are under the roof of the parents, dependent upon
them, they should be subject to their control. Parents should
move with decision, requiring that their views of right be followed
out.
Eli might have restrained his wicked sons,
but he feared their displeasure. He suffered them to go on in
their rebellion, until they became a curse to Israel. Parents
are required to restrain their children. The salvation of children
depends very much upon the course pursued by the parents. In
their mistaken love and fondness for their children, many parents
indulge them to their hurt, nourish their pride, and put upon
them trimmings and ornaments which make them vain, and lead them
to think that dress makes the lady or gentleman. But a short
acquaintance convinces those with whom they associate that an
outside appearance is not sufficient to hide the deformity of
a heart void of the Christian graces, but filled with self-love,
haughtiness, and uncontrolled passions. Those who love meekness,
humility, and virtue, should shun such society, even if it be
Sabbathkeepers' children. Their company is poisonous; their influence
leads to death. Parents realize not the destructive influence
of the seed which they are sowing. It will spring up and bear
fruit which will make their children despise parental authority.
Even after they are of age, children are
required to respect their parents, and to look after their comfort.
They should listen to the counsel of godly parents, and not feel
that because a few more years are added to their life, they have
grown out of their duty to them. There is a commandment with
promise to those who honor their father and their mother. In
these last days children are so noted for their disobedience
and disrespect that God has especially noticed it, and it constitutes
a sign that the end is near. It shows that Satan has almost complete
control of the minds of the young. By many, age is no more respected.
It is considered too old-fashioned
to respect the aged; it dates back as far as the days of Abraham.
Says God: "I know him, that he will command his children
and his household after him."
Anciently, children were not permitted
to marry without the consent of their parents. Parents chose
for their children. It was considered a crime for children to
contract marriage upon their own responsibility. The matter was
first laid before the parents, and they were to consider whether
the person to be brought into a close relation to them was worthy,
and whether the parties could provide for a family. It was considered
by them of the greatest importance that they, the worshipers
of the true God, should not intermarry with an idolatrous people,
lest their families be led away from God. Even after children
were married, they were under the most solemn obligation to their
parents. Their judgment was not then considered sufficient without
the counsel of the parents, and they were required to respect
and obey their wishes unless these should conflict with the requirements
of God.
Again I was directed to the condition of
the young in these last days. Children are not controlled. Parents,
you should commence your first lesson of discipline when your
children are babes in your arms. Teach them to yield their will
to yours. This can be done by bearing an even hand, and manifesting
firmness. Parents should have perfect control over their own
spirits, and with mildness and yet firmness bend the will of
the child until it shall expect nothing else but to yield to
their wishes.
Parents do not commence in season. The
first manifestation of temper is not subdued, and the children
grow stubborn, which increases with their growth and strengthens
with their strength. Some children, as they grow older, think
it a matter of course that they must have their own way, and
that their parents must submit to their wishes. They expect their
parents to wait upon them. They are impatient of restraint, and
when old enough to be a help to their parents, they do not bear the burdens they should. They have
been released from responsibilities, and grow up worthless at
home and worthless abroad. They have no power or endurance. The
parents have borne the burden, and have suffered them to grow
up in idleness, without habits of order, industry, or economy.
They have not been taught habits of self-denial, but have been
petted and indulged, their appetites gratified, and they come
up with enfeebled health. Their manners and deportment are not
agreeable. They are unhappy themselves, and make those around
them unhappy. And while the children are but children still,
while they need to be disciplined, they are allowed to go out
in company and mingle with the society of the young, and one
has a corrupting influence over another.
The curse of God will surely rest upon
unfaithful parents. Not only are they planting thorns which will
wound them here, but they must meet their own unfaithfulness
when the judgment shall sit. Many children will rise up in judgment
and condemn their parents for not restraining them, and charge
upon them their destruction. The false sympathy and blind love
of parents causes them to excuse the faults of their children
and pass them by without correction, and their children are lost
in consequence, and the blood of their souls will rest upon the
unfaithful parents.
Children who are thus brought up undisciplined,
have everything to learn when they profess to be Christ's followers.
Their whole religious experience is affected by their bringing
up in childhood. The same self-will often appears; there is the
same lack of self-denial, the same impatience under reproof,
the same love of self and unwillingness to seek counsel of others,
or to be influenced by others' judgment, the same indolence,
shunning of burdens, lack of bearing responsibilities. All this
is seen in their relation to the church. It is possible for such
to overcome; but how hard the battle! how severe the conflict!
How hard to pass through the course of
thorough discipline which is necessary for them to reach the
elevation of Christian character! Yet if they overcome at last,
they will be permitted to see, before they are translated, how
near the precipice of eternal destruction they came, because
of the lack of right training in youth, the failure to learn
submission in childhood.