June 6, 1863, I was shown some of the dangers
of the young. Satan is controlling the minds of the youth and
leading their inexperienced feet astray. They are ignorant of
his devices, and in these perilous times parents should be awake
and work with perseverance and industry to shut out the first
approach of the foe. They should instruct their children when
they go out and when they come in, when they rise up, and when
they sit down, giving line upon line, precept upon precept, here
a little and there a little.
The mother's work commences with the infant.
She should subdue the will and temper of her child, and bring
it into subjection, teach it to obey. As the child grows older,
relax not the hand. Every mother should take time to reason with
her children, to correct their errors, and patiently teach them
the right way. Christian parents should know that they are instructing
and fitting their children to become children of God. The entire
religious experience of the children is influenced by the instructions
given, and the character formed, in childhood. If the will is
not then subdued and made to yield to the will of the parents,
it will be a difficult task to learn the lesson in after years.
What a severe struggle, what a conflict, to yield that will which
never was subdued, to the requirements of God! Parents who neglect
this important work commit a great
error, and sin against their poor children and against God.
Children who are under strict discipline
will at times have dissatisfied feelings. They will become impatient
under restraint, and will wish to have their own way, and go
and come as they please. Especially from the age of ten to eighteen,
they will often feel that there would be no harm in going to
picnics and other gatherings of young associates; yet their experienced
parents can see danger. They are acquainted with the peculiar
temperaments of their children and know the influence of these
things upon their minds, and from a desire for their salvation
keep them back from these exciting amusements. When these children
decide for themselves to leave the pleasures of the world and
become Christ's disciples, what a burden is lifted from the hearts
of careful, faithful parents! Yet even then the labor of the
parents must not cease. The children should not be left to take
their own course and always choose for themselves. They have
but just commenced in earnest the warfare against sin, pride,
passion, envy, jealousy, hatred, and all the evils of the natural
heart. And parents need to watch and counsel their children,
and decide for them, and show them that if they do not yield
cheerful, willing obedience to their parents, they cannot yield
willing obedience to God, and it is impossible for them to be
Christians.
Parents should encourage their children
to confide in them, and unburden to them their heart griefs,
their little daily annoyances and trials. Thus the parents can
learn to sympathize with their children, and can pray with and
for them that God would shield and guide them. They should point
them to their never-failing Friend and Counselor, who will be
touched with the feeling of their infirmities, who was tempted
in all points like as we are, yet without sin.
Satan tempts children to be reserved with
their parents and to choose as their confidants their young and
inexperienced companions, such
as cannot help them, but will give them bad advice. Girls and
boys get together and chat, and laugh, and joke, and drive Christ
out of their hearts, and angels from their presence, by their
foolish nonsense. Unprofitable conversation upon the acts of
others, small talk about this young man or that girl, withers
noble, devotional thoughts and feelings, and drives good and
holy desires from the heart, leaving it cold and destitute of
true love for God and His truth.
Children would be saved from many evils
if they would be more familiar with their parents. Parents should
encourage in their children a disposition to be open and frank
with them, to come to them with their difficulties, and when
they are perplexed as to what course is right, to lay the matter
just as they view it before the parents and ask their advice.
Who are so well calculated to see and point out their dangers
as godly parents? Who can understand the peculiar temperaments
of their own children as well as they? The mother who has watched
every turn of the mind from infancy, and is thus acquainted with
the natural disposition, is best prepared to counsel her children.
Who can tell as well what traits of character to check and restrain,
as the mother, aided by the father?
Children who are Christians will prefer
the love and approbation of their God-fearing parents above every
earthly blessing. They will love and honor their parents. It
should be one of the principal studies of their lives, how to
make their parents happy. In this rebellious age, children who
have not received right instruction and discipline have but little
sense of their obligations to their parents. It is often the
case that the more their parents do for them, the more ungrateful
they are, and the less they respect them. Children who have been
petted and waited upon, always expect it; and if their expectations
are not met, they are disappointed and discouraged. This same
disposition will be seen through their whole lives; they will
be helpless, leaning upon others for aid, expecting others to favor them and yield to them.
And if they are opposed, even after they have grown to manhood
and womanhood, they think themselves abused; and thus they worry
their way through the world, hardly able to bear their own weight,
often murmuring and fretting because everything does not suit
them.
Mistaken parents are teaching their children
lessons which will prove ruinous to them, and are also planting
thorns for their own feet. They think that by gratifying the
wishes of their children, and letting them follow their own inclinations,
they can gain their love. What an error! Children thus indulged
grow up unrestrained in their desires, unyielding in their dispositions,
selfish, exacting, and overbearing, a curse to themselves and
to all around them. To a great extent, parents hold in their
own hands the future happiness of their children. Upon them rests
the important work of forming the character of these children.
The instructions given in childhood will follow them all through
life. Parents sow the seed which will spring up and bear fruit
either for good or evil. They can fit their sons and daughters
for happiness or for misery.
Children should be taught very young to
be useful, to help themselves, and to help others. Many daughters
of this age can, without remorse of conscience, see their mothers
toiling, cooking, washing, or ironing, while they sit in the
parlor and read stories, knit edging, crochet, or embroider.
Their hearts are as unfeeling as a stone. But where does this
wrong originate? Who are the ones usually most to blame in this
matter? The poor, deceived parents. They overlook the future
good of their children, and in their mistaken fondness, let them
sit in idleness, or do that which is of but little account, which
requires no exercise of the mind or muscles, and then excuse
their indolent daughters because they are weakly. What has made
them weakly? In many cases it has been the wrong
course of the parents. A proper amount of
exercise about the house would improve both mind and body. But
children are deprived of this through false ideas, until they
are averse to work. It is disagreeable and does not accord with
their ideas of gentility. It is thought to be unladylike and
even coarse to wash dishes, iron, or stand over the washtub.
This is the fashionable instruction which is given children in
this unfortunate age.
God's people should be governed by higher
principles than worldlings, who seek to gauge all their course
of action according to fashion. God-fearing parents should train
their children for a life of usefulness. They should not permit
their principles of government to be tainted with the extravagant
notions prevailing in this age, that they must conform to the
fashions and be governed by the opinions of worldlings. They
should not permit their children to choose their own associates.
Teach them that it is your duty to choose for them. Prepare them
to bear burdens while young. If your children have been unaccustomed
to labor, they will soon become weary. They will complain of
side ache, pain in the shoulders, and tired limbs; and you will
be in danger, through sympathy, of doing the work yourselves,
rather than have them suffer a little. Let the burden upon the
children be very light at first, and then increase it a little
every day, until they can do a proper amount of labor without
becoming so weary. Inactivity is the greatest cause of side ache
and shoulder ache among children.
There is a class of young ladies in this
age who are merely useless creatures, only good to breathe, eat,
wear, chat, and talk nonsense, while they hold in their fingers
a bit of embroidery or crochet. But few of the youth show real
sound judgment and good common sense. They lead a butterfly life
with no special object in view. When this class of worldly associates
get together, about all you can hear is a few silly
remarks about dress, or some frivolous matter,
and then they laugh at their own remarks which they consider
very bright. This is frequently done in the presence of older
persons, who can but feel saddened at such lack of reverence
for their years. These youth seem to have lost all sense of modesty
and good manners. Yet the manner in which they have been instructed
leads them to think it the height of gentility.
This spirit is like a contagious disease.
God's people should choose the society for their children and
teach them to avoid the company of these vain worldlings. Mothers
should take their daughters with them into the kitchen and patiently
educate them. Their constitution will be better for such labor,
their muscles will gain tone and strength, and their meditations
will be more healthy and elevated at the close of the day. They
may be weary, but how sweet is rest after a proper amount of
labor. Sleep, nature's sweet restorer, invigorates the weary
body, and prepares it for the next day's duties. Do not intimate
to your children that it is no matter whether they labor or not.
Teach them that their help is needed, that their time is of value,
and that you depend on their labor.
I have been shown that much sin has resulted
from idleness. Active hands and minds do not find time to heed
every temptation which the enemy suggests, but idle hands and
brains are all ready for Satan to control. The mind, when not
properly occupied, dwells upon improper things. Parents should
teach their children that idleness is sin. I was referred to
Ezekiel 16:49: "Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister
Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was
in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand
of the poor and needy."
Children should feel that they are indebted
to their parents, who have watched over them in infancy and nursed
them in sickness. They should realize that their parents have
suffered much anxiety on their account. Especially have conscientious,
godly parents felt the deepest interest that
their children should take a right course. As they have seen
faults in their children, how heavy have been their hearts. If
the children who caused those hearts to ache could see the effect
of their course, they would certainly relent. If they could see
their mother's tears and hear her prayers to God in their behalf,
if they could listen to her suppressed and broken sighs, their
hearts would feel, and they would speedily confess their wrongs
and ask to be forgiven. There is a work to be accomplished for
old and young. Parents should better qualify themselves to discharge
their duty to their children. Some parents do not understand
their children and are not really acquainted with them. There
is often a great distance between parents and children. If the
parents would enter more fully into the feelings of their children
and draw out what is in their hearts, it would have a beneficial
influence upon them.
Parents should deal faithfully with the
souls committed to their trust. They should not encourage in
their children pride, extravagance, or love of show. They should
not teach them, or suffer them to learn, little pranks which
appear cunning in small children, but which they will have to
unlearn, and for which they must be corrected, when they are
older. The habits first formed are not easily forgotten. Parents,
you should commence to discipline the minds of your children
while very young, to the end that they may be Christians. Let
all your efforts be for their salvation. Act as though they were
placed in your care to be fitted as precious jewels to shine
in the kingdom of God. Beware how you lull them to sleep over
the pit of destruction with the mistaken thought that they are
not old enough to be accountable, not old enough to repent of
their sins and profess Christ.
I was referred to the many precious promises
on record for those who seek their Saviour early. Ecclesiastes
12:1: "Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth,
while the evil days come not, nor
the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure
in them." Proverbs 8:17: "I love them that love Me;
and those that seek Me early shall find Me." The Great Shepherd
of Israel is still saying: "Suffer little children to come
unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."
Teach your children that youth is the best time to seek the Lord.
Then the burdens of life are not heavy upon them, and their young
minds are not harassed with care, and while so free they should
devote the best of their strength to God.
We are living in an unfortunate age for
children. A heavy current is setting downward to perdition, and
more than childhood's experience and strength is needed to press
against this current and not be borne down by it. The youth generally
seem to be Satan's captives, and he and his angels are leading
them to certain destruction. Satan and his hosts are warring
against the government of God, and all who have a desire to yield
their hearts to him and obey his requirements, Satan will try
to perplex and overcome with his temptations, that they may become
discouraged and give up the warfare.
Parents, help your children. Arouse from
the lethargy which has been upon you. Watch continually to cut
off the current and roll back the weight of evil which Satan
is pressing in upon your children. The children cannot do this
of themselves, but parents can do much. By earnest prayer and
living faith great victories will be gained. Some parents have
not realized the responsibilities resting upon them and have
neglected the religious education of their children. In the morning
the Christian's first thoughts should be upon God. Worldly labor
and self-interest should be secondary. Children should be taught
to respect and reverence the hour of prayer. Before leaving the
house for labor, all the family should be called together, and
the father, or the mother in the father's absence, should plead
fervently with God to keep them through the day. Come in humility
with a heart full of tenderness
and with a sense of the temptations and dangers before yourselves
and your children; by faith bind them upon the altar, entreating
for them the care of the Lord. Ministering angels will guard
children who are thus dedicated to God. It is the duty of Christian
parents, morning and evening, by earnest prayer and persevering
faith, to make a hedge about their children. They should patiently
instruct them, kindly and untiringly teach them how to live in
order to please God.
Impatience in the parents excites impatience
in the children. Passion manifested by the parents creates passion
in the children and stirs up the evils of their nature. Some
parents correct their children severely in a spirit of impatience,
and often in passion. Such corrections produce no good result.
In seeking to correct one evil, they create two. Continual censuring
and whipping hardens children and weans them from their parents.
Parents should first learn to control themselves, then they can
more successfully control their children. Every time they lose
self-control, and speak and act impatiently, they sin against
God. They should first reason with their children, clearly point
out their wrongs, show them their sin, and impress upon them
that they have not only sinned against their parents, but against
God. With your own heart subdued and full of pity and sorrow
for your erring children, pray with them before correcting them.
Then your correction will not cause your children to hate you.
They will love you. They will see that you do not punish them
because they have put you to inconvenience, or because you wish
to vent your displeasure upon them; but from a sense of duty,
for their good, that they may not be left to grow up in sin.
Some parents have failed to give their
children a religious education and have also neglected their
school education. Neither should have been neglected. Children's
minds will be active, and if not engaged in physical labor, or
occupied with study, they will be exposed to evil influences.
It is a sin for parents to allow
their children to grow up in ignorance. They should supply them
with useful and interesting books, and should teach them to work,
to have hours for physical labor, and hours to devote to study
and reading. Parents should seek to elevate the minds of their
children and to improve their mental faculties. The mind left
to itself, uncultivated, is generally low, sensual, and corrupt.
Satan improves his opportunity and educates idle minds.
Parents, the recording angel writes every
impatient, fretful word you utter to your children. Every failure
on your part to give them proper instruction, and show them the
exceeding sinfulness of sin, and the final result of a sinful
course, is marked against your name. Every unguarded word spoken
before them, carelessly or in jest, every word that is not chaste
and elevated, the recording angel marks as a spot against your
Christian character. All your acts are recorded, whether they
are good or bad.
Parents cannot succeed well in the government
of their children until they first have perfect control of themselves.
They must first learn to subdue themselves, to control their
words, and the very expression of the countenance. They should
not suffer the tones of their voice to be disturbed or agitated
with excitement and passion. Then they can have a decided influence
over their children. Children may wish to do right, they may
purpose in their hearts to be obedient and kind to their parents
or guardians; but they need help and encouragement from them.
They may make good resolutions; but unless their principles are
strengthened by religion and their lives influenced by the renewing
grace of God, they will fail to come up to the mark.
Parents should redouble their efforts for
the salvation of their children. They should faithfully instruct
them, not leaving them to gather up their education as best they
can. The young should not be suffered to learn good and evil
indiscriminately, with the idea that at some
future time the good will predominate and the evil lose its influence.
The evil will increase faster than the good. It is possible that
the evil they have learned may be eradicated after many years;
but who will venture this? Time is short. It is easier and much
safer to sow clean and good seed in the hearts of your children
than to pluck up the weeds afterward. It is the duty of parents
to watch lest surrounding influences have an injurious effect
upon their children. It is their duty to select the society for
them and not suffer them to choose for themselves. Who will attend
to this work if the parents do not? Can others have that interest
for your children which you should have? Can they have that constant
care and deep love that parents have?
Sabbathkeeping children may become impatient
of restraint, and think their parents too strict; hard feelings
may even arise in their hearts, and discontented, unhappy thoughts
may be cherished by them against those who are working for their
present and their future and eternal good. But if life shall
be spared a few years, they will bless their parents for that
strict care and faithful watchfulness over them in their years
of inexperience. Parents should explain and simplify the plan
of salvation to their children that their young minds may comprehend
it. Children of eight, ten, or twelve years are old enough to
be addressed on the subject of personal religion. Do not teach
your children with reference to some future period when they
shall be old enough to repent and believe the truth. If properly
instructed, very young children may have correct views of their
state as sinners and of the way of salvation through Christ.
Ministers are generally too indifferent to the salvation of children
and are not as personal as they should be. Golden opportunities
to impress the minds of children frequently pass unimproved.
The evil influence around our children
is almost overpowering; it is corrupting their minds and leading
them down to perdition. The minds
of youth are naturally given to folly; and at an early age, before
their characters are formed, and their judgment matured, they
frequently manifest a preference for associates who will have
an injurious influence over them. Some form attachments for the
other sex, contrary to the wishes and entreaties of their parents,
and break the fifth commandment by thus dishonoring them. It
is the duty of parents to watch the going out and the coming
in of their children. They should encourage them, and present
inducements before them which will attract them at home, and
lead them to see that their parents are interested for them.
They should make home pleasant and cheerful.
Fathers and mothers, speak kindly to your
children; remember how sensitive you are, how little you can
bear to be blamed; reflect, and know that your children are like
you. That which you cannot bear, do not lay upon them. If you
cannot bear censure and blame, neither can your children, who
are weaker than you and cannot endure as much. Let your pleasant,
cheerful words ever be like sunbeams in your family. The fruits
of self-control, thoughtfulness, and painstaking on your part
will be a hundredfold. Parents have no right to bring a gloomy
cloud over the happiness of their children by faultfinding or
severe censure for trifling mistakes. Actual wrong and sin should
be made to appear just as sinful as it is, and a firm, decided
course should be pursued to prevent its recurrence. Children
should be impressed with a sense of their wrongs, yet they should
not be left in a hopeless state of mind, but with a degree of
courage that they can improve and gain your confidence and approval.
Some parents mistake in giving their children
too much liberty. They sometimes have so much confidence in them
that they do not see their faults. It is wrong to allow children,
at some expense, to visit at a distance, unaccompanied by their
parents or guardians. It has a wrong influence upon
the children. They come to feel that they
are of considerable consequence and that certain privileges belong
to them, and if these are not granted, they think themselves
abused. They refer to children who go and come, and have many
privileges, while they have so few.
And the mother, fearing that her children
will think her unjust, gratifies their wishes, which in the end
proves a great injury to them. Young visitors, who have not a
parent's watchful eye over them to see and correct their faults,
often receive impressions which it will take months to remove.
I was referred to cases of parents who had good, obedient children,
and who, having the utmost confidence in certain families, trusted
their children to go from them at a distance to visit these friends.
From that time there was an entire change in the deportment and
character of their children. Formerly they were contented and
happy at home, and had no great desire to be much in the company
of other young persons. When they return to their parents, restraint
seems unjust, and home is like a prison to them. Such unwise
movements of parents decide the character of their children.
By thus visiting, some children form attachments
which prove their ruin in the end. Parents, keep your children
with you if you can, and watch them with the deepest solicitude.
When you let them visit at a distance from you, they feel that
they are old enough to take care of and choose for themselves.
When the young are thus left to themselves, their conversation
is often upon subjects which will not refine or elevate them,
or increase their love for the things of religion. The more they
are permitted to visit, the greater will be their desire to go,
and the less attractive will home seem to them.
Children, God has seen fit to entrust you
to the care of your parents for them to instruct and discipline,
and thus act their part in forming your character for heaven.
And yet it rests with you to say whether you will develop a good
Christian character by making the best of the advantages you
have had from godly, faithful,
praying parents. Notwithstanding all the anxiety and faithfulness
of parents in behalf of their children, they alone cannot save
them. There is a work for the children to do. Every child has
an individual case to attend to. Believing parents, you have
a responsible work before you to guide the footsteps of your
children, even in their religious experience. When they truly
love God, they will bless and reverence you for the care which
you have manifested for them, and for your faithfulness in restraining
their desires and subduing their wills.
The prevailing influence in the world is
to suffer the youth to follow the natural turn of their own minds.
And if very wild in youth, parents say they will come right after
a while, and when sixteen or eighteen years of age, will reason
for themselves, and leave off their wrong habits, and become
at last useful men and women. What a mistake! For years they
permit an enemy to sow the garden of the heart; they suffer wrong
principles to grow, and in many cases all the labor afterward
bestowed on that soil will avail nothing. Satan is an artful,
persevering workman, a deadly foe. Whenever an incautious word
is spoken to the injury of youth, whether in flattery or to cause
them to look upon some sin with less abhorrence, Satan takes
advantage of it and nourishes the evil seed that it may take
root and yield a bountiful harvest. Some parents have suffered
their children to form wrong habits, the marks of which may be
seen all through life. Upon the parents lies this sin. These
children may profess to be Christians, yet without a special
work of grace upon the heart and a thorough reform in life their
past habits will be seen in all their experience, and they will
exhibit just the character which their parents allowed them to
form.
The standard of piety is so low among professed
Christians generally that those who wish to follow Christ in
sincerity find the work much more laborious and trying than they
otherwise would. The influence of worldly professors is
injurious to the young. The mass of professed
Christians have removed the line of distinction between Christians
and the world, and while they profess to be living for Christ,
they are living for the world. Their faith has but little restraining
influence upon their pleasures; while they profess to be children
of the light, they walk in darkness and are children of the night
and of darkness. Those who walk in darkness cannot love God and
sincerely desire to glorify Him. They are not enlightened to
discern the excellence of heavenly things, and therefore cannot
truly love them. They profess to be Christians because it is
considered honorable, and there is no cross for them to bear.
Their motives are often selfish. Some such professors can enter
the ballroom and unite in all the amusements which it affords.
Others cannot go to such a length as this, yet they can attend
parties of pleasure, picnics, donation parties, and exhibitions.
And the most discerning eye would fail to detect in such professed
Christians one mark of Christianity. One would fail to see in
their appearance any difference between them and the greatest
unbeliever. The professed Christian, the profligate, the open
scoffer at religion, and the openly profane all mingle together
as one. And God regards them as one in spirit and practice.
A profession of Christianity without corresponding
faith and works will avail nothing. No man can serve two masters.
The children of the wicked one are their own master's servants;
to whom they yield themselves servants to obey, his servants
they are, and they cannot be the servants of God until they renounce
the devil and all his works. It cannot be harmless for servants
of the heavenly King to engage in the pleasures and amusements
which Satan's servants engage in, even though they often repeat
that such amusements are harmless. God has revealed sacred and
holy truths to separate His people from the ungodly and purify
them unto Himself. Seventh-day Adventists should live out their
faith. Those who obey the Ten Commandments
view the state of the world and religious things from a standpoint
altogether different from that of professors who are lovers of
pleasure, who shun the cross, and live in violation of the fourth
commandment. In the present state of things in society it is
no easy task for parents to restrain their children and instruct
them according to the Bible rule of right. Professors of religion
have so departed from the word of God that when His people return
to His sacred word, and would train their children according
to its precepts, and like Abraham of old command their households
after them, the poor children with such an influence around them
think their parents unnecessarily exacting and overcareful in
regard to their associates. They naturally desire to follow the
example of worldly, pleasure-loving professors.
In these days, persecution and reproach
for Christ's sake are scarcely known. Very little self-denial
and sacrifice is necessary in order to put on a form of godliness
and have the name upon the church book; but to live in such a
manner that our ways will be pleasing to God, and our names registered
in the book of life, will require watchfulness and prayer, self-denial
and sacrifice on our part. Professed Christians are no example
for the youth, only as far as they follow Christ. Right actions
are unmistakable fruits of true godliness. The Judge of all the
earth will give everyone according to his works. Children who
follow Christ have a warfare before them; they have a daily cross
to bear in coming out from the world and being separate, and
imitating the life of Christ.