In Testimony No. 13 I gave a brief sketch
of our labors and trials from December 19, 1866, to October 21,
1867. In these pages I will notice the less painful experience
of the past five months.
During this time I have written many personal
testimonies. And for many persons whom I have met in our field
of labor during the past five months I have testimonies still
to write as I find time and have strength, but just what my duty
is in relation to these personal testimonies has long been a
matter of no small anxiety to me. With a few exceptions I have
sent them to the ones to whom they related and have left these
persons to dispose of them as they chose. The results have been
various:
1. Some have thankfully received the testimonies
and have responded to them in a good spirit and have profited
by them. These have been willing that their brethren should see
the testimonies and have freely and fully confessed their faults.
2. Others have acknowledged that the testimonies to them were true, but after reading them have laid them away to remain in silence, while they have made but little change in their lives. These testimonies related more or less to the churches to which these persons belonged, who could also have been benefited by them. But all this was lost in consequence of these testimonies' being held private.
3. Still others have rebelled against the
testimonies. Some of these have responded in a faultfinding spirit.
Some have shown bitterness, anger, and wrath, and in return for
my toil and pains in writing the testimonies they have turned
upon us to injure us all they could; while others have held me
for hours in personal interviews to pour into my ears and my
aching heart their complaints, murmurings, and self-justifications,
perhaps appealing to their own sympathies with weeping, and losing
sight of their own faults and sins. The influence of these things
has been terrible upon me and has sometimes driven me nearly
to distraction. That which has followed from the conduct of these
unconsecrated, unthankful persons has cost me more suffering
and has worn upon my courage and health ten times more than all
the toil of writing the testimonies.
And all this has been suffered by me, and
my brethren and sisters generally have known nothing about it.
They have had no just idea of the amount of wearing labor of
this kind which I have had to perform, nor of the burdens and
sufferings unjustly thrown upon me. I have given some personal
communications in several numbers of my testimonies, and in some
cases persons have been offended because I did not publish all
such communications. On account of their number this would be
hardly possible, and it would be improper from the fact that
some of them relate to sins which need not, and should not, be
made public.
But I have finally decided that many of
these personal testimonies should be published, as they all contain
more or less reproof and instruction which apply to hundreds
or thousands of others in similar condition. These should have
the light which God has seen fit to give which meets their cases.
It is a wrong to shut it away from them by sending it to one
person or to one place, where it
is kept as a light under a bushel. My convictions of duty on
this point have been greatly strengthened by the following dream:
A grove of evergreens was presented before
me. Several, including myself, were laboring among them. I was
bidden to closely inspect the trees and see if they were in a
flourishing condition. I observed that some were being bent and
deformed by the wind, and needed to be supported by stakes. I
was carefully removing the dirt from the feeble and dying trees
to ascertain the cause of their condition. I discovered worms
at the roots of some. Others had not been watered properly and
were dying from drought. The roots of others had been crowded
together to their injury. My work was to explain to the workmen
the different reasons why these trees did not prosper. This was
necessary from the fact that trees in other grounds were liable
to be affected as these had been, and the cause of their not
flourishing and how they should be cultivated and treated must
be made known.
In this testimony I speak freely of the
case of Sister Hannah More, not from a willingness to grieve
the Battle Creek church, but from a sense of duty. I love that
church notwithstanding their faults. I know of no church that
in acts of benevolence and general duty do so well. I present
the frightful facts in this case to arouse our people everywhere
to a sense of their duty. Not one in twenty of those who have
a good standing with Seventh-day Adventists is living out the
self-sacrificing principles of the word of God. But let not their
enemies, who are destitute of the first principles of the doctrine
of Christ, take advantage of the fact that they are reproved.
This is evidence that they are the children of the Lord. Those
who are without chastisement, says the apostle, are bastards
and not sons. Then let not these illegitimate children boast
over the lawful sons and daughters of the Almighty.