I wanted so much for the pregnancy to be over - it was a miserable and uncomfortable pregnancy! - so I was delighted as we approached the due date. Soon it would be over. Since my firstborn was over a week early, I was SURE I wouldn't have much longer to go. The weekend before the due date was a Stanley Cup game, and the whole K. family came up to root for our beloved Caps. I was obviously in a lot of pain (back pain, side pain, heartburn, tired, the works) and everyone thought I would pop at any minute. But no.

So, on Wednesday, DAYS later, Pumpkin and I are at the mall buying a Fathers Day gift when I start to feel contractions (I thought, anyway). I was SO happy. It was like my little secrete, walking around feeling the light back pains of early labor. I wanted very much for Pumpkin's last hours as an only child to be fun (which is silly, since its not like he'd remember them anyway) so I took him to Dairy Queen for ice cream. I didn't get any since it's a milk product and 'they' all say not to eat when you are in labor. The pains were light and rhythmic, so I figured I would just wait for Hubby to get home from work before doing anything. Of course, we get home and I lay back on the couch -- and the pains disappear! Ack, Braxton Hicks contractions!

Thursday was another disappointing day. We are now 2 days from the due date, and according to my plans I should have welcomed a baby into the world over a week ago! On Thursday afternoon we have a OBGYN appointment and a full pelvic exam. Nothing. No effacement, no dilation, the head is not engaged, the baby has not dropped. There are no signs this pregnancy is ending any time soon. Dejected, I head home and pull out the baby pool so Pumpkin and I can sit in it together for the evening.

The first thing I remember about Friday morning is waking up totally refreshed. Pumpkin had let me sleep in (to nearly 8 am!) for a change, and I had somehow managed to get a really good night's sleep. I still remember my sense of shock at this. At 8:40 am I suddenly had a contraction so strong I nearly dropped a bowl. I looked at the clock to see what time it was, but wary of my experience on Wednesday I decided I would wait a bit before calling Hubby. I hated to bring him home from work when he had only been their an hour. Besides, I figured I had several hours of labor before I needed to go to the hospital, so no need to worry anyone.

The contractions continued to be extremely intense. I wasn't timing them, since in my first labor they remained irregular to the end. However, by 9:15 I was aware that, even if I had hours of labor left to endure, I soon would be unable to care for Pumpkin (due to pain) and Hubby's help would be necessary. I called him at work and told him to make his way home as I was in labor, but I had only been in labor for half an hour, no rush. (Mistake)

I began pacing the downstairs hallway. When a hard contraction hit, I would get into the guest bedroom in a fetal position, or get down on my hands and knees and arch my back. I had to be careful not to get on the floor in front of Pumpkin, or he thought I was inviting him to wrestle.

My father, his wife, 2 aunts and uncles called from Hilton Head where they were vacationing (as they had done daily since the Stanley Cup) to see if I was in labor yet. I said I had determined I was in labor at that very minute, and that I had just called Hubby. Contractions are very intense and cause me to double over and to hitch my speech. My aunt is very concerned and tells me to call 911. I ignore her, and don't even think to unlock a door should emergency help be needed.

At some point I seem to have gone into nesting mode (also called "Labor Land") and totally lost my rational mind. I became concerned that my favorite gown that I wanted to wear at the hospital was dirty. So I planted Pumpkin in front of the TV and began to do laundry. There I am hanging onto the edge of the washing machine panting and trying to cope through contractions! I never pack a hospital bag since the hospital is all of 5 minutes away, and I can send Hubby home for anything I need. But I really wanted this one gown clean as it's a great nursing/recovery gown, so I decided to do a load of darks.

Then I'd almost crawl to the guest bedroom and lie on my side. Then I'd remember I had a toddler in the other room. Must go see what he's doing. Hmmm, moving hurts. MUST get back in bed. Cannot move. Must not move. Oh shit I've got to put my hosptial gown in the dryer. It's amazing the sensations you can live through when you aren't thinking that you are that far along in labor. I honstly was thinking I was still very early in labor, and therefore I should be able to handle the pain. Since it didn't occure to me that I wouldn't be able to handle it - mind over matter. Moreover, since I was at HOME by MYSELF - well, I had no option but to bare it. So I did. I learned, in spite of myself, that it's doable. I am mindless with pain, or perhaps just the sensations of being in labor land.

I had to go to the bathroom several times. I figured if I had to do business, it may as well be in my own house on my own pot. It was quite difficult to pull myself into a full sitting position on the toilet. I thought I cleared my system out pretty well, however, I still felt vaguely like I had to poop. Not really strong yet, but an urge. So I'd get on the pot and experimentally push - but not too hard since I didn't want to force anything. But nothing would come so I'd get up and curl up some more, wander/crawl the hall aimlessly, and hope Pumpkin didn't decide to move as I was in so much pain as not to be able to do about anything. Twice I got on the toilet to push. The second time I finally saw some bloody show, and was again reassured that I was in labor. (Here I've gone through transistion and I'm worried about false labor!)

A bit after 10 Hubby came home and something about the way I looked and sounded really upset him. He urged me to forget about the damn laundry (now in the dryer) and get a move on. I'm totally in my own world, and even as Hubby attempts to get ready to take Pumpkin to daycare I randomly walk the hall and keep ending up in a fetal position in the back bedroom. (Julie, where the hell are you?!) As we get into the car I realize (a) I am unable to sit down and (b) I have not called the OBGYN yet. I call the office on the cell phone to say I am in labor and about to head to the hospital, and his assistant (I assume guessing the urgency from the tone of my voice) says the doctor will meet me there.

Hubby wanted to drop me off at the emergency room and take Pumpkin to the daycare without me. "Not to worry" I breathlessly assure him, hanging onto the arm support so my butt is not touching the seat, "we have plenty of time." "Hours of time," I say. "This is not a big deal." The car is distracting, and my contractions are now several minutes apart. It's like my body has put my labor on hold while we head to the daycare/hospital. Hubby drives about 80 miles an hour the 1 mile to daycare. As Hubby drops Pumpkin off, I call my mom to say I'm heading to the hospital.

The contractions are unbelieveable, but I have no fear. I've 'enjoyed' laboring at home, but am now expecting to enter the hospital and get some pain medication and have an experience similar to my first birth. We enter the emergency room department and Hubby and I go together to 'check in' (although I have no idea what it is they needed, since we had pre-registered and all.) The nurse makes an immediate assessment that I should go at once to a birthing room while Hubby does whatever is required. I am unable to sit and they allow me to push my required wheelchair, stopping once to pant, all the while I'm saying how crazy and worried my husband is, "as if I am having the baby any time soon." (That is an actual quote) My water has not yet broken, and I have very little bloody show. As I enter the ward someone asks me if I'm alone, which ticks me off to no end. I enter the labor/deliveraly room at 10:45 am.

I enter the birthing room and am asked to undress and give a urine sample. I am moving around with some discomfort, but I'm standing and also able to sit down on a cold toilet, push slightly, and stand back up again. I head to the private lavatory and of course I can't pee or anything, and instead get a tiny bit of blood in the cup. Again I have this almost frustrating urge to push. Suddenly I remember a woman from Toddler Swim - a fan of natural labor - telling me that the beginning of the pushing stage is feeling like on has to poop. My body decides enough of this fooling around waiting to get situated and a light goes off in my head. Dear god, was I trying to push my baby out in my toilet at home? So, butt naked and a little confused I walk out of the bathroom and stand in the middle of the room and say, "I can't pee. By the way I feel like I have to push."

This has a comical 3 stooges effect on the room as one nurse tries to convince me to at least put the hospital gown on (No dammit - tell my husband to go get my birthing gown!) and another rushes off to find said husband and a third breaks down the birthing bed. Adding to the confusion, Dr. B. walks in (smiling at the mayhem) He convinces me to get onto the bed - at some point I put that stupid gown on. My labor has hit high gear and now I'm scared. I demand medication. Dr. B. again smiles at me and says, "Congratulations, You're having the baby naturally!" "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE BABY NATRUALLY!!!!!"

Hubby comes rushing in, still in his suit and tie, and I grab his hand. I don't remember a ton of pain at this point, either because I am to busy yelling at people or because the pain that follows (actually having the baby) is so unbelievable and unexpected that it simply overshadows all other pain. I am scared of having the baby naturally; I've been dealing with the pain so far by not recognizing where I was in labor and by mentally promising myself a happy dose of medication when we get to the hospital. I don't want the pain to continue and just feel like screaming. I actually remember thinking I wanted something appropriate to yell, since I didn't want to yell obscenities. So I began yelling "Help Me! Help Me!" at close to the top of my lungs. At one point I stopped yelling and politely asked, "Am I disturbing other patients?" I think the nurse laughed out loud and said to yell my heart out. This all happened in the space of like 3 minutes.

Dr. B.: Her head's coming out, you can feel it. Do you want to touch it?
Me: NO! JUST GET HER OUT OF ME!!

So then I really felt the need to push. Not only is the urge overwhelming, the pain (sensation?) is simply indescribable. A searing burning sensation. It was like I was in another world, I could hear this long grunt, and was surprised to realize it was me. I'm clasping Hubby's hand to my forehead. I think the nurses and such are telling me to push - but I don't need them to tell me, becuase I'm totally in the present. I am totally aware of what my body is telling me to do, I feel every instinctual urge. Instructions from outsiders, even praise from my husband is unnecessary. I know when to push, I know when her head as cleared, I can feel her shoulders turning within me. The people around me are a fog and not needed.

Another hard push or two and my darling princess is placed, bloody, gooey, and demanding a breast, on my stomach. It is 10:59, but for insurance purposes they decide to mark the time at 11:01. I don't know why - something about being able to stay in the hospital longer, which is this huge laugh since I am trying to get them to let me OUT of the hospital about 4 hours later. I turn to Hubby and tell him he needs to go home and get my gown. It's in the dryer, by the way, dear.

Precious latches on like an angry pig and sucks for dear life. A natural nurser and a nearly insatiable one as well. After maybe 5 minutes she is removed (somewhat against her will) to be cleaned, weighed and whatever. At thing point I notice she has already managed to pop one of the nodules of my nipple! (This is a sign of things to come!) So while she is being wrapped up and attended to by her adoring father, I decide to give my mom a quick call. I am so mentally alert it's awesome. (I know I was in a birthing room because of the bed, but I don't understand why a phone was there.) So I call my mom.

Me: Hey mom! It's me.
Grandma: Oh good, you've made it to the hospital already?
Me: Made it to the hospital? I've already had the baby! She's beautiful!