|
MATURITY
Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent. From my purchase this chap took off ten percent I asked for the cause of a lesser amount; And he answered, "Because of the Seniors Discount."
I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries; And there, once again, got quite a surprise. The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me. He said, "For you, Seniors, the coffee is free."
Understand---I'm not old--- I'm merely mature; But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure. The newspaper print gets smaller each day, And people speak softer--- can't hear what they say.
My teeth are my own (I have the receipt). and my glasses identify people I meet. Oh, I've slowed down a bit... not a lot, I am sure. You see, I'm not old... I'm only mature.
The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun. You should see all the damage that chlorine has done. Washing my hair has turned it all white, But don't call it gray... saying "blonde" is just right.
My car is all paid for... not a nickel is owed. Yet a kid yells, "Old duffer... get off of the road!" My car has no scratches...not even a dent. Still I get all that guff from a punk who's "Hell bent."
My friends all get older... much faster than me. They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see. I've got "character lines," "not wrinkles"...for sure, But don't call me old... just call me mature.
The steps in the houses they're building today, Are so high that they take... your breath all away; And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago. That should explain why my walking is slow.
But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new, And I think I can still dance a mean boogaloo. I'm still in the running... in this I'm secure, I'm not really old... I'm only mature.
THE OVERLY MATURITY SIGNS! ***************************** You know you're over the hill if...
You and your teeth don't sleep together. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal. Your back goes out but you stay home. When you wake up looking like your driver's license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. When happy hour is a nap. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you you always hated it. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. The pharmacist has become your new best friend. Getting lucky means you found your car in the parking lot. The twinkle in your eye is only a reflection from the sun on your biofocals. The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants. It takes twice as long to look half as good. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. Your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your Metamucil. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
|
CLICK HERE to RETURN TO LINKS