Hi...I just moved out of the hills,into Mission.This guy came up to me and started this weird talk and said he worked on this machine called a Pentium.I kinda of laughed at him.He looked insulted and asked for the definitions of some words,as he figured I was pretty dumb.He thought I would have a PROBLEM with them,but they were real easy...

LOG ON - Making the wood stove hotter.

LOG OFF - Don't add wood.

MONITOR - Keep an eye on the wood stove.

DOWNLOAD - Getting firewood off the pickup.

MEGA HERTZ - When your not careful downloading (watch those toes)

FLOPPY DISK - What you get from piling too much wood.

RAM - The hydraulic thingy that makes the wood splitter work.

HARD DRIVE - Getting home in mud season.

WINDOWS - What to shut when it's 30 below.

SCREEN - What you need for black fly season.

BYTE - What black flies do.

CHIP - What to munch on.

MICRO CHIP - What's left in the bag when chips are done.

MODEM - What you did in the hay fields.

LAP TOP - Where little kids feel comfy.

KEYBOARD - Where you hang your keys.

SOFTWARE - Plastic eating utensils.

MOUSE - What eats the horses grain in the barn.
MAIN FRAME - The part of the barn that holds the roof up.

PORT - Fancy Wine.

ENTER - C'MON IN. :o)