Quotes from Women for Women!!!
(guys can read too...hehehe)
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blond." - Dolly Parton
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy." - Erica Jong
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours." - Rita Rudner
"I figure that if the children are alive when I get Home, I've done my job." - Roseanne
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives." - Rita Rudner
"I was on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters." - Susie Loucks
"This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man". I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?" - Judy Tenuta
"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant." - Carol Leifer
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." - Wendy Liebman
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth." - Erma Bombeck
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them." - Sue Grafton
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on." - Roseanne
"I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead." - Sue Kolinsky
"I look just like the girls next door...if you happen to live next door to an amusement park." - Dolly Parton
"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like : How did my mother know THAT?" - Wendy Liebman
"I think...therefore I'm single." - Liz Winstead
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." - Hedy Lamarr
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country." - Elayne Boosler
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." - Gilda Radner
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." - Maryon Pearson
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel." - Bella Abzug
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher
"If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose Catholicism because it at least has female Saints and the Virgin Mary." - Margaret Atwood
"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - Gloria Steinem
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths." - Baroness Edith Summerskill
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by trying a little noose around your neck?" - Linda Ellerbee
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I hope you enjoyed these little quotes, I found them amusing but then I have already told you I have a weird sense of humour!!! Awww, come on guys, was it really that bad??? *giggle*
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