Getting a little warm, Bitsy, darling? Mmm! Uncle Tex is grilling up some delicious mouse fajitas!! (No, they are not Bitsy steaks, sorry about that!)
Some of our guests are already starting to gather. For some reason unknown to me, (but probably known to Bitsy!), they have opted not to speak. But we have many more guests clambering for their turn to (snicker) honor our roastee. So without further ado here is Tabby.... "What a nice day for a roast. And Bitsy, I'm NOT fat. I mean, I'm no more rotund that you are! And heaven knows, YOU'D never admit to being overweight!! Bitsy, there's just a whole lot of you to love! But I digress, here is my good friend, Henry with a word or three.... A funny thing happened to me on my way to the Bitsy Roast. I was
soaring along in the teleport and looked out the window. To my
surprise I saw a blimp out the window - flying along high in the sky.
Then to my amazement the blimp started waving at me. I shut my eyes
tight, shook my head, and looked again. And behold, the blimp wore a
golden crown. It was Bitsy!!
Seriously though, I've know Queen Bitsy for about as long as I've been
on the net. I've always enjoyed visiting her castle. Of course, since
I am from Arizona I find it cold and damp, but Bitsy's conversation
always warms it up - particularly if she is talking about a certain fair
lady we know.
I'm glad to have been a friend of Bitsy's, but after this, I'll probably
be on her hit list. Bitsy, I love you. You know that, you really know
that, don't you Bitsy? But enough from me, now allow my dear Freya to take my place.... When I furst herd bout dis Roast, I thought they were gonna roast Bitsy
in the oven. Now, my Meowmie Lois, will not let me even close to the
oven and says it's "Hot, hot" and I was scared fur Bitsy. So I am glad
that it's just gonna be silly words we say.
Furst, let me say I'd luff to be a Queen likes Bitsy - and live in a
castle. Of course, I'd decorate it all in pink - not in that awful gray
granite - but maybe that gray granite goes with Bitsy's complexion.
(Teehee - dat was a good one, wasn't it?)
And also, did you know dat Bitsy was near sighted - she can't even see
da nose in front of her face. (Teeheehee - oh, I'm really rolling now.
Watch out, Bitsy)
But this is just all in fun. I respects and looks up to Bitsy. And if
I am happening to stand behind her, well that is (teehee ... giggle
...gasp) some grand (giggle ... snort ... teehee .. I can't even ..
giggle .. talk ... breath deep, breath slow) Ok, if I'm standing behind
her, she is some grand and glorious sight.
Bye, Bitsy, we all luff you.
-- But 'nuff said from liddle ol' me...The terribly funny trio of Molly, Jenny & Gus are begging to have a go... Bitsy, how ever do you do it? You haven't changed in years. I mean, how many cats keep wearing an outfit until it becomes retro?? And you're the purrrfect ruler, stiff as a board and unyielding. Of course it's obvious you are decended from a long line of Kings and Queens - you are a royal pain through and through. Seriously, Bitsy, we adore you! But we don't want to hog the limelight all evening. Polly has a few words for you.... Well, I got my bib on and I'm all good and ready for the barbeque!...
Wait a minute, we're not gonna eat her? She would have made quite the ham...I guess I'll just have to have a mouse fajita and pass the baton along to The Love Kitties,
Hey, Bitsy, old gal, we love ya - no kidding we really do!! We love your charm and your wit (Richard Nixon was our idea of a real fun guy!) We love your fine physique! (Did we ever tell you we were into marshmallows big time?) and as for diplomacy and tact, why Bitsy, you REALLY take the cake (So would Adolf Hitler!) Bitsy, what else can we say...? Anywho, let Inky take the floor now... Tha Queen stuck me in this thing trying to save hurrself from a
roasting. At least she didn't know how to turn it on -- since she nefurr
duz iny cooking hurrself! And now, here's my brudder, Kissy...
Welcome, my dears, to the great Backyard Bitsy Bar-B-Que. Shuck off those stuffy Renaissance duds and slip on a lei...go as bare as you dare! Our guests of honor, Weesa and Sammy will be here shortly. As you can see we have a picture of our roastee seated upon her throne. (And it suits her SO well, don't you think?) It's just too bad she was unable to grace us with her presence. (Of course if I'd sent her an invitation, she probably would have showed up - leaving little or no refreshments for the rest of us and putting a damper on our festivities!) Speaking of refreshments, do go help yourself to a frozen Catnip Margarita - so refreshing on these warm summer nights!
This fake gold chain iz tha Queen's idea uv a nice gift! Quality -- NOT--
(an' yu can't say it'z tha thought that countz, 'cuz she duzn't think). But I luvs her anywayz..When tha Queen sed "bow down", I asked: "Are you krazy?" before
realizing I'd asked an insultingly rhetorical question. But, Bitsy, toots, you know I care enough to say the very best...and so does my dear friend, Whiskers....
I waz an abused kitty but I waz saved by a nice vet's familee. Befurr
that, I wurked at tha castle where tha dragonz burned my whiskerz an'
tha Queen yelled at me. Oh, an tha' pay waz lousy! I'll never furget thoze dayz. And now for the grand finale, The Tucker Bunch have a special song they've composed just for you....follow the dancing notes...
Follow that green stuff!!