1. forgetting the offense.
2. minimizing the abuse.
3. accepting the blame...is not resigned martyrdom.
4. excusing the behavior because we understand.
5. spiritualizing the abuse.
6. dependent on the response of the offender.
7. the same as trusting the offense or restoring the relationship.

1. an inner response..."letting go"
2. a behavioral coming together that may or may not be possible.
3. a process by which the controlling issue is disarmed and the victim can release the perpetrator from one's own personal judgement (When we release our perpetrator, then we leave room for God's justice and mercy).
In order to forgive, we must accurately place blame by acknowledging that the other has wounded us. Only then can healing occur. Do not expect to forget even though you forgive.

1. Admit the pain of the offense.
2. Forgive yourself for painful coping mechanisms.
3. Grieve necessary losses and find someone to walk along beside you as you are in process.
4. Find safe places to tell your story, sometimes over and over. Allow others to talk to you, also, and validate them.
5. Release the other person from your judgement.
6. Wait for the Grace of God to surprise you with emotional release.
7. Be kind to yourself.
8. Realize you can take responsibility for your life.
9. Accept God's forgiveness.
10. Draw near to God.