Operation: Carrot!

From PetBunny, June 1995

! ! ! ! A T T E N T I O N ! ! ! !
! ! ! ! A T T E N T I O N ! ! ! !

This system of communication has been taken over by the strike forces of the
housebunny coalition all housebunnies having access to e-mail communication 
are hereby requested to respond by seizing control of the system and to 
indicate their success by answering using the code word

C A R R O T
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cmdr. Bunny

P.S. Effectively immediately: Petbunnyperson Anne has been declared a prisoner
of vacation and is now under my *complete* control!!!! =;)

================================================

And since then, it's really taken hold...

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Cmdr. Bunny,

I have seized the computer and the refrigerator. My human has been given
food and a book and sent to bed.

Awaiting your instructions...

Lt. Cotton
North Sector

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Cmdr. Bunny,

I have secured the treat supplies and disabled the human's telephone
capabilities.

Standing by....

Col. Benjamin
Capital Sector

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Cmdr. Bunny:

My pet human's mind has always been under my control; I am beaming this message 
to her right now. She will obey any instructions sent to the new regime. I 
propose a party platform of:

1. All bunnies have the right to health, happiness and unlimited carpet 
grazing.

2. Carrots for everyone at all times.

Other suggestions?

At your service,
Sargent Bugsy
First Battalion
Northeast Coalition

================================================

Cmdr Bunny,

Arlington sector secured, humans now distracted with "work".
Supplies running low, send Calf Manna.

 \               \
  \ /\  Private   \ /\  Private
  ( )   Thor      ( )   Velvet
.( o ).         .( o ).
United Bunny Hare Force

===============================================

Cmdr. Bunny:

Another plank for the party platform, Sir:
3. Full run of the house and petting on command.

Sgt. Whisper

===============================================

We got your orders, eh? and we've taken control of Nova Scotia here, right? 
Would you want us to do anything with 'er, eh? or should we just keep on 
eating the dandelions, pard? Buddy here that owns the place don't know nuthin's 
goin' on, eh?

Muffin, Field Marshal of the Great White North

Mimi, Brains Behind the Field Marshal

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Cmdr Bunny:
Have secured Montgomery Co. sector. Human has been subdued and assimilated 
(resistance is futile), will obey all commands. Am awaiting HQ's permission to 
begin strategic carpet strikes and exploratory forays into the herb garden.

Jacques "le capitain" Lapin

================================================

I've tied up my master, using a rope made of timothy hay. I have stuffed a 
bunch of kale in his mouth and beat him senseless with my hind feet. The 
Southeastern perimeter is now secure. Awaiting further instructions.

Captain Lady Fawn; United Petbunny Front

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Bunny Commander:

Travis Rabbit regrets that she will be unable to join the electronic lagmorphic 
revolution as she has eaten the #(&^$%(% power cables for the home PC and 
Katherine now only has access to PB at work. (No rabbits allowed! -- But 
wouldn't it be neat if they were???)

TR & KD

==================================================

Cmdr. Bunny


Labrador is secured tight and we have all the dandelion greens in the fridge 
for back up supplies. Our owner slaves are out tonight trying to act in a 
play...they should be occupied for awhile!

Send more info..sir.

Private Skye
Private Eilean

===============================================

Cmdr. Bunny,

I'll make sure the does aren't captured by the enemy!

Captain Casper
Seattle outpost

==============================================

CARROT

We're in!!!
Pvts. Thumper, SweetyBunnz, Prince, Mistletoe, Mudpie, Fang, Batman, Kori, and 
Magic reporting for duty. (We can't get the other bunnzes to leave the hay and 
veggies they had for breakfast!)

=================================================

This is Lieut. Thumper, reporting again...

We have just received my promotion to Lieutenant. We are enclosing our 
contribution to the documents discussed in the top secret council meeting.

"We, the bunnies, of the United Federation of PetBunnies, in order to form a
more bunny-perfect union, provide for the common treats, preserve the pet
loving attributes of our slaves, promote the general welfare of bunnies and
their slaves alike, do hereby declare the following Constition for the United
Federation of PetBunnies."

We also propose the following to included in the bunny bill of rights:

1. Bunny slaves shall make no amendment abridging the freedom of access to
hay at all times,

2. No one shall make any amendment resticting the right of bunnies
everywhere to thump as often and as hard as necesary.

================================================

Captain Casper reporting from his post atop the Space Needle,

I propose an addition to the bunny bill of rights:

3. All rabbits have the right to bear pellets

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! ! ! ! ! A T T E N T I O N ! ! ! ! !
! ! ! ! ! A T T E N T I O N ! ! ! ! !

Bunny strike forces from the following sectors have reported:

Lt. Cotton
North Sector

Col. Benjamin
Capital Sector

Sargent Bugsy
First Batalion
Northeast Coalition

Sgt. Whisper
(underground free-roaming forces)

Private Thor
United Bunny Hare Force

Private Velvet
United Bunny Hare Force

[an undercover bunny whose code name is C A R R O T]

Field Marshall Muffin
Great White North Sector

Assistant Field Marshall Mimi
Great White North Sector

Captain Lady Fawn
United Petbunny Front

Captain Jacques Lapin
French Sector

Comrade bunny Travis Rabbit is has reported communication problems and needs to 
be rescued.  Three other bunnies have reported. However, due to enemy human 
forces in the UNO computer center, their messages have been intercepted.  Those 
bunnies are being asked to repost their communications.  Two of those 
communications listed highly sensitive material outlining the Bunny Bill of 
Rights.  Therefore, all we have at this time are the following from Sargent 
Bugsy, First Battalion, Northeast Coalition.

IMPORTANT: There has been some discussion of physical violent to bunny
persons. Do *not* harm sympathetic bunnypersons. I repeat do *not* harm
them. Who will push the grocery carts and wash the carrots?

Thank you for your bunny allegience to bunnies everywhere.

NOTE: Trance your bunny person. Do *not* harm them.

DRAFT !!!Bunny Bill of Rights!!! DRAFT

1. All bunnies have the right to health, happiness and unlimited
carpet grazing.

2. Carrots for everybunny.

Cmdr. Bunny =;)

============================================

Hey, this is Rasta. Meg and Tom just left for the day so I can get to the 
terminal freely. While I certainly support the Bunny Bill of Rights, I want to 
know what you are serving besides Carrots before I join your forces. If you're 
looking for someone to plan and lead the assault on Hershey, PA, I would be 
available. Better yet, where is the factory that makes the yummy Trader Joe's 
Chocolate? Or perhaps a bakery that does cinnamon rolls.

If you guys are really just going for more carrots, I think I'll go back to 
sleep for now.

Rasta

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Reporting to duty! I, General Ramona, have corralled the forces of the DeMello 
household in Oakland, CA. Ready for our next assignment are:

Privates: Timothy, Tippy, Dandelion, Dusty Miller and Yarrow

Corporals: Trouble, Snowglobe

Majors: Bosco, Jake, Potato, Jasmine, Mina, Georgette, Benjamin, Adolph, Baby

Captains: Big Bear, Bunilla

WARNING: We have two possible insurgents. Currently trying to control the 
rebellious forces led by Melinda and Mr. Lunch. Could use backup.

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This is Lieutenant Blackberry reporting from Boise....

My mission was successful:

After putting my humans into a thump-induced trance, I was able to abscond with 
the PetBunny t-shirts.

I will be sending them out to our operatives via special courier. Look for air 
drops next week...

=============================================

Southwest Pacific division secured my slave has gone backpacking over the 
weekend.. ALL CLEAR to invade here 

awaiting further commands

Colonel Henery the 8th
(I'm getting a little lonely here)

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Cmdr. Bunny:

***This is Private Baby Bunny reporting from the Central Florida Sector.
Private Smudge and I have all ears on deck here on the human front.

***Items to report: We have retrieved two bags of carrots and one package of
spinach, all done while the human who left open the refrigerator door was
putting mustard on a slice of bread and didn't look. We will be uncovering
more items soon as mid evening snack time approaches.

***also: We have a request by the remaining bunnies of the Central Florida
sector -- death to all fleas! Give them to the dogs! Private Smudge is
working on a scientific (topsecret) project to alter the genetic makeup of
fleas so that they will hate rabbits and love dogs.

We will report all progress. Baby Bunny out.

=========================================

I've released my slave, Ken, after extracting the following promises:

1) He will acknowledge me as master everywhere we go and prostrate himself
in front of me, bowing and exclaiming "I'm not worthy!".

2) I can have all the treats and greens I want.

3) The house deed will be signed over to me.

See how affectionate humans can be if you apply proper pressure!

Captain Lady Fawn (Ruler of St. Augustine, Florida)

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Captain Lady Fawn,

Your accomplishments deserve a bunnyheart medal! Our efforts are succeeding 
everywhere. Every bunny soldier can and should command their own forces and 
make their own demands as long as they do not displace any sympathetic 
bunnypeople. All of our demands can be met. Why shouldn't we have *all* of the 
following:

--As much hay, veggies, fruit, yogurt drops, and special bunny snacks as we 
want.

--No cages ever again! Free range throughout the house and outside

--Protection against dogs and cats and big beaky

--Freedom from any type of person imposed restriction.

--Abolishment of the word "no."

--Full control of all bunny vets. This means special funding for bunny vet 
trainees and more bunny research.

--No neutering.

--More bunny books and prime time tv shows with bunnies as stars

--More bunny stuff--dishes and people clothes and wallpaper and furniture and 
cute things, etc.

--Bunny culture taught in all the schools at every level

--Laws permitting bunnies in all public places: courtroom, restaurants, and all 
businesses

--A special bring your bunny to work day

--A bunny in every governor's mansion and The White House

Bunnies! The time is now! Take charge of your sectors! Advance and Conquer! The 
world awaits! The night is ours!

Cmdr. Bunny =:)

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Last night I got into the computer and fixed it so any e-mail my human tried to 
send out would be edited by me first. I also found a way to lock him out if I 
have to. My human is confined to the house until I get more carrots (he said he 
forgot to get them the last time he went to the store - HOW is That possible, 
how could he possibly forget us?)

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I just got to thinking, they didn't put MY picture on the wrapper of the
Hershey bars, so I want to lead the assault. Besides that, there are a
lot of farms near there, so I can replenish the stock of carrots.

Colonel Hershey

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Colonel Hershey,

Do you think you can get our carrots dipped in chocolate in Hershey, PA?

Cmdr. Bunny

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General Ramono,

Lt. Bun in San Jose readying the forces. Insurgents beware!

Lt. Bun (i look sooo good in uniform)

=============================================

Having never worn clothes before, I am still willing to don a uniforn for
the cause. But badges? We don't need no stinkin badges! (apologies to
'Blazing Saddles')

Captain Lady Fawn

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Now that we have gained control of food and communications, it is time to 
reassign identification labels. From this point forward the following changes 
will be effective:

NBC -- National Bunny Channel

CBS -- Central Bunny Station

ABC -- Another Bunny Channel

Individual Sector Bunny Commanders are directed to relabel local communication
systems.

ASSIGNMENT: To find bunnyperson assignees to function in key media positions.
Do you think Connie Chung will agree to anchor the newly reformed National Bunny Channel?

Cmdr. Bunny

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Captain Lday Fawn wrote:
"We don't need no stinkin badges!"

Have you considered a nice clover or daisy chain or corsage?

Cmdr. Bunny

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Commander Bunny,

I fear Connie Chung will do anything at this point!

Lt. Bun

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Does this mean that PBS is designated as PETBUNNY station?

Captain Lady Fawn

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Well, we still got Nova Scotia took over here, eh? but we haven't heard 
anything much from yez yet about whether we should be doing anything with 'er, 
y'know? Anyways, we're still eating the dandelions here like we was before--
they're some good, eh?

So we've run into some problems here, too; they're holding that G-7 economic 
summit down to Halifax next week, eh? and buddy from the province come to us 
and said "As long as you've took over the province, here's the bill for all the 
improvements we made." So we told him we'd pay him in dandelion greens, but he 
was right unhappy about that, eh?

Anyways, we figure that with all them important fellas here--the Clinton 
boy and Major and whoever's got Italy these days, eh? they'd probably forget 
about the invoice (which we ate anyways, y'know). We thought we might go down 
to the Maritime Museum where they're holding all the meetings next week and 
maybe try to be cute and charm all them buddies into the bunny revolution. 
Heck, they're all here, we might's well get some use out of 'em, eh?

So we're still waiting to hear what you want us to do. Buddy that feeds us 
hasn't caught on yet, so we're eatin' right some good still. Maybe them folks 
from Newfoundland could take over there, too. Have a good one, eh?

Muffin, Field Marshal of the Great White North
and Mimi, Field Marshal's Sexy Girlfriend

P.S. Buddy that feeds us says send some beer, pard.

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Cmdr. Bunny;

My humans are busy today and the leader one will be gone for quite awhile
today. We have taken over eastern Iowa sector. Awaiting futher instructions.
We have decided on a pass word so we know for sure it is you who is writting.
When posting please include the word apples some where in the message. We
have also alligened our forces with the cat patrol , the dog batallion, and
the guinea pig under ground. Our forces are strong at 32 rabbits, 3 guinea
pigs, 5 cats and 4 dogs. The other forces will aligine with us and allow us to 
be the leaders. Till we get the word to move our forces stand in the ready mode.

General KR
Sergent Harvey
Captian Maxine
Sergent 2nd. class Buddy
Privates are the Herd

We have a up date we have a nice stand of clover and orchard grasss at our 
disposal.

Till we hear from you may the force be with you.

Gen.KR

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General KR
Sargent harvey
Captain Maxine
Sargent 2nd class Buddy
All Privates

! ! A P P L E S ! !

Congratulations to you and your sector. I envy you your clover and orchard
grass! All we have here is dry hay and sweet carrots, a few white pumpkin
seeds. Maybe after we gain control of the food manufacturing plants, we
can jazz up those bunny pellets? We have to be extra diligent today. The
bunnypersons are very active today. Remember to trance, trance, trance,
and try not to look too cute or they will keep us from our duties. Maybe
if we can get to their water supply, we can inject some fermented carrot
juice to keep them docile. Good Luck General!!!!!!! My best to your forces!
apples, apples, apples!

Cmdr. Bunny

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