We went to a tourney
We traveled all day long
We arrived after darkeness fell
And all the light was gone

My daughter has taken off somewhere
To find some new friends
To be a social butterfly
Is what she does intend.

My son has dressed and left me
He’s trolling at the gate
II guess I’ll raise the tent myself
It always seems my fate.

I set up my encampment
After searching far and wide
But alas to my great sorrow
By the privy I must abide

The ground below is marshy
There’s spiders and earwigs too
But all good spots are taken
I fear that this must do

My daughter has her flock
of admirer’s young and old
They follow her and bow and scrape
for her flirting is so bold

The sun is hot and we all sweat
Until dark clouds roll in
Thunder breaks and rain comes down
Gods mad - but whats my sin?

Shivering we huddle
to watch the battle rage
My son is out there working
as some strange knights new page

There is a break in fighting
and I have chores to do
For help I seek my children
but they’re water bearing, too

The herald makes an announcement
And I listen to what he’s saying
Then I stagger back in shock
My god - its my son again . .

I am running back and forth
assisting the autocrat
They’re busy praising my son again
How much they love that brat.

He’s charmed them all completely
wrapped around his little finger
So think I’ll run into town
To get something for dinner

I’m back again to feed them
Those dear children of mine
But I have to take it out to them
For they don’t have the time.

The fighter’s are so sweaty
They’re in need of a bath so dire
My son is out there helping
Hauling water and building fire.

The sun again is setting
And torches are aflame
The night is filled with moonlight
And I’m so glad I came

My sons winning toblero
Designated drinkers at his side
My daughters out there somewhere
Her guards right by her side

With her I do not worry
She’s spread the word so wide
My mothers rather dangerous
Touch me and you will die.....

The bardic circle opens
I think I’ll try a tune
I finish it quite bravely
and silence fills the room (oh well)

At last I crawl into my bed
I’m so tired my bodys humming
But sleep is going to take a while
‘Cause I can hear vampire hunting (Clinton, hummm)

My daughter is late again
Its now way past her hour
I must go out asearching
Before she is deflowered

She hasn’t got a chastity belt
I think that would be cool
But she’s under a Jarl’s protection
So I guess that that will do.

I wake and now it’s time to pack
There’s no kids to be found
I load the cart myself again
For homeward we are bound

Closing court is upon us
They’re giving great awards
My son’s the service champion
and the knights all clang their swords

I gather up my children
and stuff them in the cart
For we are now aheading home
And feel we’ve done our part.

Now I’ve told you my story
But I think its quite unfair
How they’re always helping others
Next time I’d like my share.

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