If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek

I couldn't help but put this one on. It is so funny! This one is for all you trekkies out there.

Picard:

Sigma Indri, that's the star.
So, Data, how far? How far?

Data:

Our ship can get there very fast,
but still the trip will last and last.
We'll have two days till we arrive,
but can the Indrans there survive?

Picard:

LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge:

But sir, the engines are offline!

Picard:

Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!

Riker:

But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
we can't, we mustn't, and we shan't.
The danger here is far too great.

Picard:

But surely we must not be late!

Troi:

I'm sensing anger and great ire.

Computer:

Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard:

The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?

Riker:

Not me.

Worf:

Not me.

Picard:

Computer, how long till we die?

Computer:

Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

Data:

May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
extinguishers from tractor beams,
and stop the fire, or so it seems...

Geordi:

Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, hurray! Hurray!

Picard:

Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

Troi:

We still must save the Indran planet-

Data:

Which, by the way, is made of granite...

Picard:

Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand-we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, please make it so.

Geordi:

There's sabotage among the wires,
and that's what started all the fires.

Riker:

We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!

Troi:

We must seek out the traitor spy,
and lock him up, and ask him why?

Worf:

Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.

Troi:

Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
that we haven't heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher:

Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, Help us, clothe us, feed us!
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor must attempt-must try!

Picard:

Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher:

They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

*Commercial break, commercial break.
How long will these dumb ads take?*

Worf:

The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my phaser set on stun-
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall.
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form,
all soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard:

Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?

Worf:

I did and then I beat him fairly,
hit him on the jaw-quite squarely.

Riker:

My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end.

Crusher:

Now let's get our ship to fly,
and orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard:

LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi:

Yes, sir, we can.

Picard:

Then make it so!

Author Unknown

JC here! Would you please take a moment and fill out the form to the left? I'm going to be making a new site and I'd appreciate your help on discovering the top jokes. Thank you much!

This page was last updated on 2002.07.04 by JC Reagan.