A simple friend will stand by you when you are right.
A real friend will stand by you even when you are wrong...
A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to...
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on
his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"...
A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for
14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."...
A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears...
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book...
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help
you clean...
A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call...
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems...
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it...
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself...
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've
had a fight...
A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!