1. You own more leashes than belts.
2. You can't understand why heads snap around at work when you discuss
your "bitch."
3. All your clothes have plastic bags in the pockets.
4. Your dogs have more, and better, toys than you do.
5. You think it's completely normal to discuss your dog's stools at
the dinner table.
6. You select a new vehicle solely on its suitability for carrying
your dogs and their gear.
7. Your mattress is old enough to vote, but your dogs get brand-new
beds every Christmas.
8. You watch "Letterman" only on Stupid Pet Trick night.
9. You have no photos of your spouse in your wallet -- just the dogs.
10. Your dog's shampoo: $18.00 a bottle, plus $5.00 for second-day
air shipment. Your shampoo: Whatever's on sale.
11.You never bother to wash you hands after petting the dog even before
eating.
12. You expect to find a little dog hair in each meal and think of
it as "added fiber".
13. You wake up instantly when your dog whines, but never wake up when
someone calls your name or your alarm goes off.
14. You will rush your dog to the vet at the smallest injury or cough,
but wait to take yourself to the doctor unless it is really severe.
15. You are willing to get up and walk the puppy at any time of, night
with a cheerful "good dog", but grumble and complain when someone calls
you in the middle of the night.
16. You know peoples' dog's names before you know theirs. And when
you talk about someone it goes like this: "You know the person that owns
the sable German GSD really got some good advice from the person with the
Corgi..."
17. Your entire wardrobe is covered in dog hair. You still find dog
hair even when you have been away from dogs for months.
18.You notice the breed of someone's dog, but don't even notice if
the person with the dog is male or female.
19. New puppies cause "oh isn't he so cute. He sure has grown recently.
How adorable!" while human children only get "What a cute new puppy in
the family"
20. You talk to people in short phrases: "Billy come", "Joe Sit", "Watch
me", "Good boy!"
21. When someone does something that pleases you are inclined to reach
in your pocket for a piece of food as a reward.
22. You feel the urge to put choke chains on people when they misbehave.
23. You ask old friends about their dogs before you ask about the family.
24. You send out Christmas pictures of the dog, not the family.
25. When you are away from home you call to ask about the dog.
26. You ask pregnant women when they are due to whelp.
27. When you are talking you have the urge to spell out cue words,
that your dog reacts to like "W_A_L_K" and "O_U_T" whenever they are used
in a sentence, even if the dog is not around.
28. You open all doors cautiously to make sure the dog doesn't run
out, even at other peoples houses.
29. Dog related activities dictate your weekends and evenings
30. You own more dog training videos than all other videos combined.
31. You own more dog training books than all other books combined.
32. Your dog's brushes and combs sit next to your own.
33. Your dog has a wardrobe as large as your own.
34. You have more pictures of your dogs on the walls of your house
than of your human family, or the dog is included in all family photos.
35. You greet your dogs before you greet the rest of the family when
you have been gone.
36. Your dog's food costs more in one month than your own.
37. You celebrate your dog's birthday by giving him presents, cake
and having their "friends" come over for a party.
38. Your dog receives a stocking at Christmas.
39. Your favorite stores to go to are pet stores, because your dog
is welcome to come in.
40. You hate people that beg, because they just can't get that innocent
look like your dog.
41. Your dog has more toys than your children.
42. Your phone bill is full of calls to your dog's groomer, breeder,
trainer, show handler, hotel reservations for dog shows, dog show friends,
other dog people, etc.
43. Every conversation you have tends to turn to the topic of dogs.
44. If you had a choice between living with your spouse and your dog,
you would choose the dog.
45. You spend more time at work reading dog-related e-mail than you
do actually working.
46. The initials DHLP, AKC, CHD, PRA, CERF, ARBA, BOB, BIS, BOS, BOV,
CD, CDX, OTCH, EDX, JH, MH, LCX, etc. are common abbreviations in your
vocabulary.
47. You can recognize more than 100 breeds of dogs on sight.
48. Westminster Dog show on TV takes all precedence over any other
program during the dates it is on.
49. You are subscribed to two or more dog-related magazines, and you
eagerly await their arrival.
50. You feel the urge to neuter or spay anyone that mistreats their
dogs, or allows their dogs to run loose.
Scoring: Count up each 'Yes' and for that total find the
answer to "Are you really into Dogs?"...
0-5: Get rid of your dog, you really must not enjoy them much.
6-15: You are amused by your dog.
16-25: You really enjoy the company of dogs.
26-35: You are hooked on dogs.
36-45: You are beginning to resemble your dog.
46-50: Your dog lives a better life than you do.
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