Here I am, after a whole bunch of waiting and kicking.Here I am, after a whole bunch of waiting and kicking.
I was born at 2:20 pm on March 6, 1998.
My name is Colin Joseph Smith and I'm cute as can be.
I really wanted to be named John, just to mess with hotel clerks when I
get older.
I weighted 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 20 inches tall.
They never let a guy get any sleep around this hospital.
Everybody's always trying to take pictures and stuff. And the food stinks.
Mom asks for a hamburger and she gets a hamburger. Dad asks for a steak
and he gets one. Heck I even saw a bottle of champagne. OK, I figure I can
order some lobster, but what do I get, Enfamil-lactose free. Do any of you
know what that stuff tastes like?
This is my mommy, Suzanne. This mommy stuff is pretty new to her,
but I think she's doing a great job, except for the food stuff.
She holds me and talks to me and changes me and all kind of things.
Daddy helps too, but is never around when the cameras
are here. We'll catch him later.
I got to go home on Monday. They put me in this real high-tech car
seat, strapped me in, then turned me around so I couldn't see where we were
going. What next, a blindfold!
We live in a house with my own room. I got so many things from Mommy's baby shower I can't count them. Well to be honest I can't count anything yet, I'm only 5 days old.
We're in the living room with the TV on, it's tuned to the Comedy
Channel, but I'd rather be watching Jerry Springer.
I'm in my room, isn't the wallpaper nice? It has stripes on the bottom,
angels in the middle and stars on top. Daddy's mom did it all by herself.
I'm getting ready to go to sleep now. See you later.
Well it's almost two and a half weeks that I've been home and we're
still getting along fine. We listen to music and do exercises in the daytime.
I think Mommy will do anything to keep me busy so I'll sleep at night. Sometimes
it works, sometimes it doesn't.
We went to see the Doctor today and I had a great idea. Lets get him a pin cushion for his birthday, so he'll have someplace else to put those needles.
I've been doing everything I could to keep my eyes closed the for
10 days so I'd get a break from pictures, but I blew it today.
Now I'm being "held" by Mommy's Dad, he thinks I'm gonna
break. From the way he's holding me, he could be right. The lady next to
us is Mommy's Mom and she's a natural at this stuff. She helped here for
a few days when I first got home.
I don't know exactly what I'm gonna call them, but until I can talk,
I'll put off the decision. Right now I'm leaning toward Grandma and Klutzy.
It's Easter and a whole bunch of people are here, even Daddy.
Daddy's feeding me now and he better hurry so he can get something to eat
too. I offered him some of my stuff, but he doesn't like how it tastes either.
Daddy manages a bunch of condos. A condo is a thing that always has problems on weekends and holidays so daddy has to go in and make everything OK again. I think it is just a way for him to get away from all the cameras that are being pointed around here.
Here are some of the guests at this Easter Party. These guys are
much quieter and eat a lot less than any of the others that came over today.
Sitting up and holding these two is no picnic. One of them has carrot breath.
OK, they just assured me that the Easter celebration does NOT include
feeding cute little boys to giant baby chickens. Did anyone tell that to
the chicken?
I keep waving my arms around, but this chicken just won't go away. I'll get even with her when we're both old enough to go to the Colonel's.
Here's my Uncle Phil, he says"Hi", but doesn't want to hold
me yet. It's hard to get us in the same picture.
If he didn't come to save me from this boy-eating chicken, our first photo op might have been my High School graduation.
Now I really didn't think what was going to happen was really necessary.
Do I smell bad? Mommy said we were going to have some fun. So we go into
the kitchen, the place where the "food" is always bottled up,
and I get put into something called a tub. I really like the big soft spongy
thing I'm sitting on, but all this water is really overkill.
OK, cleanliness is next to Godliness, lets make a deal.
How about I pray instead. You know, we skip the bath and I say some "Hail
Mary's" or something. Or we could just save this till Sunday. kinda
kill two birds with one stone.
It's Mother's Day and here I am with two mothers, a grandmother and
an uncle. Hey, that adds up to 5, and I only count 4. I guess I'm still
too young to count after all.
I'm getting real big. I was 11 pounds when I went to the doctor the other day. I sure hope I get too big for those needles soon.
I'm pretty happy! When we go visiting I have my own bed here, but
NO tub!
I did spot a bird bath in the yard, so I'll be careful never to chirp.
This web site is so popular that I have to go around incognito.
I look like I'm right out of Hollywood. California not Florida!
My agent promised me a part on Seinfeld, as "the Cute
Baby", but the darn series just ended. I was also gonna be on
Murphy Brown, as her son's younger friend, but that's gone too.
So I'll give up acting and go into sports. I wonder how old you have to be to be traded from the Marlins?