The Man Who Loved Beans
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked
beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat
lively reaction on him.
One day he met a girl and fell in love. When
it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"She'll
never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this"
so he
made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they
were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and
since they lived in the country, he phoned his wife and told her that he
would be late because he had to walk.
On his way home. he passed a
small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans entered his nostrils
and overwhelmed him.
Since he still had several miles to walk he thought he would walk off
any ill effects before he got home.
So he went in and ordered 3 extra
large helpings of beans.
All the way home he cleared he bowels of foul
air.
By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner
tonight!"
She put a blindfold on him and led him to his chair at the
head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he
was feeling the urge coming on.
Just as his wife was about to remove
the blindfold, the phone rang. She again made him promise not to peek
until she returned and she went to answer the phone.
While his wife was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his
weight to one leg and let go.
It was not only loud, but was ripe as
rotten eggs. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for he napkin and
fanned the air about him.
He had just started to feel better when
another urge came on.
He let another slip! It sounded like a diesel
engine revving and smelled worse.
To keep himself from gagging, he
tried fanning he arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate.
Things
had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming.
He shifted his weight to he other leg and let go. This was a real blue
ribbon winner; the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a
minute later the flowers on the table even died.
While keeping an ear turned in on the conversation in the hallway, and
keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for
the next 10 minutes, passing gas and then fanning each time with his
napkin.
When he heard the phone farewells (indicating the end of his loneliness
and freedom)
he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands
on top of it. Smiling contentedly , he was the picture of innocence
when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if
he had peeked at the dinner table.
After assuring her he had not peeked,
she removed the blindfold and yelled"SURPRISE"!
To his shock and horror, there were 12 dinner guess seated around the
dinned table for his surprise birthday party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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