Cold Winter

January 22, 2005

1
A bitter, cold and aching feeling
Embraces me this winter.
The soft snow tumbling outside
Kissing the window and my eyes.
The loneliness of the season
Creeps in and paws at me,
Blankets me like the snow
Covering, burying me, cold
My heart is warmed only
By the thoughts of a summer
Spent with people at my side
And only a care to their eternity.
I can't completely remember
What brought me from there to here:
The responsibilities of pushing ahead
A broken heart from the West
And South
The feeling of my hopes and dreams
Racing away from me to the unreachable
Or just the cold, cold wind outside.
2
Frigid and unfeeling in the snow
Mind and heart deadened by the cold.
Do I really feel anything anymore?
Only a gnawing at my soul
"I am alone, so alone."
In my thoughts, doings, body
Alone and unaware.
Fingers are freezing in the air
Biting at them, read from the chill
I beat them against my leg
Waiting for the blood to flow
Feeling nothing, I sigh
Watching my breath take form
And vanish in the steady,
Falling snow, so cold.
I inhale and feel the cold air
Pierce my chest and shiver
Longing for warmth to fill me again
To move inside me and awaken
The sleeping spirit buried within.
3
A tree once green now captive
To the white clinging to its branches
The colors in my mind are
But a phantom of what used to be.
Exactly as I feel in the bland,
Colorless world I see before me:
No grass to run through,
Nor tree to climb,
No flowers to pick or make wishes on.
My feet trapped within these shoes
Long to be set free and breathe.
The red of a cardinal lights on a tree
Set for a moment and mocks me
Laughing at my petty thoughts
And arguments of injustice
Then flies away casually
As if to say, "It's not my problem."
Just a memory added to memories
Of color and conversation
Absent in this cold, cold winter.

4
January 26, 2005
Sickness is a reminder
Of Winter’s lack of sustenance
So easy to lose control of the body
The nose, head, throat, joints,
Heart, soul…
Trapped in the cage of self
Craving for release and when
Self’s door opens and the fresh air
Beckons on the other side,
Too lazy to lift a finger or toe
The desire is gone, once known
That only cold exists beyond my shelter
Hapless, distorted, nauseous
Staying inside or suffer the cold
Choices not so easily made
Nor when my body is boggled down
By this worm writhing free in me.
I wish to stamp it out, discipline
But no avail, nothing will stop it
So I lay here, cold, unaffected.
5
January 28, 2005
Cold and my lips unmoving
Silence filling in the voids within these walls
Yet my thoughts are rushing
Swirling as fast as the snow
Caught in the dance of the Winter wind
Tossing and thrashing
Sweeping the sky as salt.
Never resting to stick together
Just flying through the air
To strike at my face; bite my nose.
My mind dulled by the constant
Throw of snow and flakes
Protected only by my scarf and gloves
Wrapped around my neck
A meager attempt at warmth.
When will my thoughts feel to me
A gentle summer breeze?
Not until the air turns warm
And the wind comes from the other side
Where the sun is sleeping.
6
February 17th, 2007
The dark engulfs me and the trees surrounding.
The moon is bright behind the branches
Causing the limbs to look other-worldly
Refracting through the ice encased around them.
Oh I’m warm in my little car,
But cold is lurking outside,
Wishing to take me aside and introduce me
To this Martian foliage of glass and light.
But I know if we become acquainted
It would spell certain death to me.
Yes, to know these beasts, to be intimate!
I can’t even imagine.
Such a look of wonder presides on my face
As I stare out the window at the trees.
Can they be real? Or,
Maybe they are in my mind,
With their vibrant illumination.
Hmm, I cannot tell.
They must be real, but I’m sure they would
Break if I stare much longer.

Comments??
Poems

1 A bitter, cold and aching feeling Embraces me this winter. The soft snow tumbling outside Kissing the window and my eyes. The loneliness of the season Creeps in and paws at me, Blankets me like the snow Covering, burying me, cold My heart is warmed only By the thoughts of a summer Spent with people at my side And only a care to their eternity. I can't completely remember What brought me from there to here: The responsibilities of pushing ahead A broken heart from the West And South The feeling of my hopes and dreams Racing away from me to the unreachable Or just the cold, cold wind outside.	2 Frigid and unfeeling in the snow Mind and heart deadened by the cold. Do I really feel anything anymore? Only a gnawing at my soul "I am alone, so alone." In my thoughts, doings, body Alone and unaware. Fingers are freezing in the air Biting at them, read from the chill I beat them against my leg Waiting for the blood to flow Feeling nothing, I sigh Watching my breath take form And vanish in the steady, Falling snow, so cold. I inhale and feel the cold air Pierce my chest and shiver Longing for warmth to fill me again To move inside me and awaken The sleeping spirit buried within.	3 A tree once green now captive To the white clinging to its branches The colors in my mind are But a phantom of what used to be. Exactly as I feel in the bland, Colorless world I see before me: No grass to run through, Nor tree to climb, No flowers to pick or make wishes on. My feet trapped within these shoes Long to be set free and breathe. The red of a cardinal lights on a tree Set for a moment and mocks me Laughing at my petty thoughts And arguments of injustice Then flies away casually As if to say, "It's not my problem." Just a memory added to memories Of color and conversation Absent in this cold, cold winter.
4 January 26, 2005 Sickness is a reminder Of Winter’s lack of sustenance So easy to lose control of the body The nose, head, throat, joints, Heart, soul… Trapped in the cage of self Craving for release and when Self’s door opens and the fresh air Beckons on the other side, Too lazy to lift a finger or toe The desire is gone, once known That only cold exists beyond my shelter Hapless, distorted, nauseous Staying inside or suffer the cold Choices not so easily made Nor when my body is boggled down By this worm writhing free in me. I wish to stamp it out, discipline But no avail, nothing will stop it So I lay here, cold, unaffected.	5 January 28, 2005 Cold and my lips unmoving Silence filling in the voids within these walls Yet my thoughts are rushing Swirling as fast as the snow Caught in the dance of the Winter wind Tossing and thrashing Sweeping the sky as salt. Never resting to stick together Just flying through the air To strike at my face; bite my nose. My mind dulled by the constant Throw of snow and flakes Protected only by my scarf and gloves Wrapped around my neck A meager attempt at warmth. When will my thoughts feel to me A gentle summer breeze? Not until the air turns warm And the wind comes from the other side Where the sun is sleeping.	6 February 17th, 2007 The dark engulfs me and the trees surrounding. The moon is bright behind the branches Causing the limbs to look other-worldly Refracting through the ice encased around them. Oh I’m warm in my little car, But cold is lurking outside, Wishing to take me aside and introduce me To this Martian foliage of glass and light. But I know if we become acquainted It would spell certain death to me. Yes, to know these beasts, to be intimate! I can’t even imagine. Such a look of wonder presides on my face As I stare out the window at the trees. Can they be real? Or, Maybe they are in my mind, With their vibrant illumination. Hmm, I cannot tell. They must be real, but I’m sure they would Break if I stare much longer.