MY STUFF

note: This collection ranges from 1986 to the present. They are in no particular order, and I have tried to mix the light with the dark. I will be trying to add one every time I update - new or old.

The Lion and the River

What does the Lion
King of beasts
Do when the river
Rises raging
Between he and
The one he loves
Wanting to be
Mother of his cubs?
Does he love?
He cannot build
Bridges to pass;
He cannot brave
Swift currents.
He waits quietly,
Majestically patient
For waters to
Recede to streams.
Thus he can pass,
Or she can pass,
To be together once again.


Reality

Darkness Settles
And dreams begin,
Wavering at first
But growing strong.
I can feel you holding me;
Hear you breathing
Really next to me;
Sleeping here with me
Inside my soul,
Bounded by my dreams -
Night's own reality.


Fairy Dust

I need just
A little fairy dust
Sprinkled on your heart
It is so hard
Telling you my soul
Knowing what I know
You'd never love me
Dreaming dreams that cannot be
But you are there
Always there
Haunting me
Inside of me
Don't
Let go
Of all of it
Just a bit
Enough to say
You didn't steal my heart away
I can't
No, I can't
Oh how hard I try
You, always in my mind
In my heart, in my soul
Never letting go


Angel Too Soon

(In memory of my angel)

Angel too soon
Dancing in the stars
Stripped of life
Stripped from my arms
I still dream of you
Still hold you in my heart
Glowing in my soul
Still a guiding light
You knew how to dream
How to hold on to a dream
With a strength inside
To believe in yourself
To believe in the world
Now all I have
Is a memory
Of a wonderful man
Destined to become
An angel too soon


One Pair of Eyes

Hay unos ojos;
Steel gray eyes,
On the backdrop of a child,
Haunting, silent,
Like quiet Sylvy
That saved the white heron
From the hunter's gun.
They hold me still,
Rigid in their grasp,
Relentlessly thought provoking.
The eyes drop a quarter
In the gumball machine,
Retrieve the ball,
And exit stage right.
Without name
One pair of eyes
With a single glance
Penetrating,
Mystifying
Me.


Quarter Mile

Past the busy sights of town
In the midst of dust and smoke
Come and ride
With me.

Octane burns inside your lungs
Headers rumble in your ears
Carburetors hiss
SS screams past.

Painted lady in her lane
Tires squeal and rubber burns
Mark your spot
And back.

Helmet strap against your jaw
Heartbeat rumbles in your chest
Lights flash down the pole
Red, red, red, green.

Heated rubber grabs the strip
Grip the wheel for thirteen ticks
Break the beam
And breathe.



Independence Day

Soft brown eyes staring
At fireworks exploding
In the dark sky
For our country.

Symbol of freedom,
Flowing red white and blue,
Star Spangled Banner,
America the Beautiful,
Yet no freedom for me
From thee.

Bright blue eyes teaching
Stories of serving
With those with fly
For our country

Symbol of freedom,
Flowing red white and blue,
Star Spangled Banner,
America the Beautiful,
Yet no freedom for me
From thee.

In memory today;
Independence Day.


Anything to make you smile,
A handfull of fresh picked
Flowers in full bloom.
Anything to make you laugh,
Dancing to the radio under
A bright full moon.
Anything to make you happy,
Walking through the park
Late in the afternoon.
Anything to make you mine,
Patience, love, understanding,
Maybe a syren's tune.


I try to tell them of the pain I feel inside, but they don't hear. They don't hear my silent screams of terror that I let loose in the night. My pillow is drenched with the tears, and my soul aches from the pain. I only want to be heard; I only want to be understood. Am I asking too much of life? Is it reallly worth the struggle I go through just to let my feelings show? My soul cries out in anguish; my heart bleeds within me. I cannot show how I feel without letting some go, but whenever I let me feelings loose, I am derided for my offensiveness. My voice quivers with seariness from the screams I hold inside, and my ears ring with the deafening tone that controls my mind. I call someone for help, but help never comes. It is frightened away by my violence and retreats from my menacing glare. I cannot control myself for I have held it back too long. My distrust has become hate, and I struggle with my fears. I try to cry out, but no sound is heard. I look to the Lord, and he alone gives me hope. I can feel him listening within me, and suffering with me. I know I hurt him when my anger flares, and I try to keep it in me for him, but sometimes I just need to be heard. Everyone needs to let out their feelings sometime. How can I make them understand the pain that goes on inside of me? I am hurt and confused. I don't know good from bed, right from wrong, or love from hate. Life becomes a blur, and I with it. What can I do? I love; I hate; I live; I die. There is no in between anymore to me. I just lie in my dreams and let the tears fall on my pillow and listen to my silent screams. I hear my silent screams. I listen...


Thinking--
Sometimes I wish, and I wish so much more than you, that I could pour my heart out to you, and share with you every tiny feeling I have for you. I wish I could verbalize what races through my mind when I look into your eyes. I fall dizzily into a freshly raked pile of fall leaves. I take the first drink of a canned Coke. I fly on the back of a pony at full gallop. I stand in the pouring rain looking for rainbows. I feel the burning on my cheeks of a crackling fire. I fight the whitewater rapids. I hear Beethoven, Schubert, Holst, Tchaikovsky, Grieg, and Brittan all at once. I sit at sunset in the park and watch the mist rising from the water. I pick sunflowers and roses. I look beyond my castle moatat my kingdom stretching out before me. I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to sing. I wnat to dance. All of this is why I cannot simply say, "I love you." It is so much deeper and stronger than that. It overwhelms my mind with moments of happiness I knowand am reminded of every time you look into my eyes. How am I to put all of this in to three words? How are you to know what is really inside when I don't even know? I cannot sort through the thousands of images and sounds and feelings that fill me and make sense of it all, but I really think that is what love is. Love is not knowing whether you are coming or going, falling or flying, swimming or drowning, laughing or crying. It is much like music. The major chords are beautiful and harmonious, and the minor chords are dark and grinding, but the two together have created the greatest, most passionate musical pieces in history.


Searching each day for that certain somepne to make the sun shine and the rains fall. Waiting to feel loving arms around me and a gentle touch on my face. I stand on the rocks and look out over the water. I wonder if there will ever be someone for me. My dreams are all around me as numerous as the stars and just as far away. If only I could catch one as it falls.


To Jennifer--
Go forth and find your love. Search high and low. The longer you search, the more impatient you become, the greater that love will be. Love is tricky and wise, and it chooses those who will wait by how wonderful they are inside. The more wonderful the person, the longer the wait, the greater the love.


No More--
No more nights under the stars;
No more strolls down the lane.
We've been separated by invisible bars;
Feel the lonliness, Feel the pain.
Come back to me!

No more kisses in the dark;
No more dreams of forever.
Your love has left it's mark;
I will forget you never.
Come back to me!


Rain--
A sad heart floats,
Solemnly on a cloud,
Drifting above the world
It had known.

Searching far and wide,
For the one thing
That would give it life,
It only found sorrow.

When the rains fall,
Lift your face to the sky,
And feel my tears
Upon your brow.


How can a heart so carefully concealed and guarded be stolen? I have tried so hard to remain detached and distant. Not letting anyone near my heart, but now a true gentleman has ridden up out of the blue on his big white steed. The only thing I know is he will ride off into the sunset tomorrow. With caresses softer than satin and kisses gentler than I have ever tasted before, he holds me in his power.
~~Away ye sorcerer that keeps me under thy spell!
~~Yet my heart shall ache at thy bidding me farewell!
Long upon this earth have I yearned for such a man of grace and nobility. Alas I may not keep this kind knight and I must bid him go. He hath many battles yet to fight and maidens yet to woo. The time will be long, yet ye may find it within his heart to return to the one who's heart e has stolen, and allow herto journey at his side to his kingdom by the sea.


On the Glory of Victory--
(A letter to the editor)
A letter was written by a Matador team member on what it was like not to have the glory of winning a football game. Well, as a graduate of Seguin High School, and a faithfull fan of the mighty Matadors, I send this message: Our team goes out every week and fights odds this town never seems to notice. I want the residents of Seguin to know that our children play 5A teams that are twice our size in numbers. For every play the opponent makes, we have to make two. For every mile they run, we have to run two. If you have failed to make it to a Matador football game in the last couple of years, I suggest you make a trip to Matador stadium one friday night. You will see a great show of pride and effort coming from a team of our best athletes, and I encourage you to encourage them.
As for our players, who seem to be lacking that glory of victory, I send you this: You are the best, and you should never doubt that for a minute. If you have a chance, look up into the stands and watch the crowd cheer. There is a great pride in this town, and it comes from you. Every week when you go out on that field, and you try your ardest, and you play your best football, you are the heros. You are the ones the little kids look up to. You are the role models. Never let anyone tell you different.
To all who read this: Matador pride comes from the players and the fans, and it doesn't take a winning score or an enourmous team to make heros. It takes heart, and pride, and spirit.


Despite my horrid inability to stand still, me most saught after dreams are of tranquility and silence. I want to stand and look out over the water with someone's arms around me and their warm breath in my hair. Just as it was that magnificent night. I want to sit on a rock over a dry creek bed and get kissed for the first time - every time. Just as it was that magnificent day. I want to lay out and stare at the stars, and watch the moon rise bold and red on the horizon. I want to hear tge wind beat against the canvas of a sail.


The Cage--
Feel my heart pounding against my chest. Feel my wings beating the glass. Hear the screams locked in glass. I shut my eyes to the world. I watch from the inside as the world goes on around me. I m in a glass cage with no door. My screams of pain cannot be heard, and my cries of sorrow are silenced by the ever-torturing walls around me. I beat my wings against the glass, fighting for freedom, but with no avail. My heart pounds with excitement and anger, and a tear - a single tear falls on the floor, but that one tear holds enough hope to seep through the glass to the outside world. I watch in awe, realizing strength cannot defeat the walls of glass, but hope can set free my spirit and break these barriers of mine.


White lightning spreds it's tentacles across the black sky, embracing the darkness in it's thundery bosom, and rain falls. Raining softly, quietly, it tapps on the rooftop and runs down the windowsto the ground, only to have to go up again on a warm sunny day.


I want everything back - dreams of quilts and children by dancing firelight, holding hands while walking down small streets by shop windows, sitting outside late at night under the stars waiting for one to fall just so I can wish for another, carousels and ferris wheels, fresh picked flowers complete with critters, cloudbursting, romantic evenings of candellight and concerts, fancy dresses, living happily ever after.


It is a small clearing along a dry creek. Thick Mesquite trees bend solemnly over the rocky creekbed, and bushes surround the green grassy area as if to form a wall - a wall to keep out the rest of the world. The clouds soar high above the trees in the heavenly blue skies, and I dream of a day when life is as perfect as this place.


To Whom it May Concern--
I am searching for the one
That held me tight
One summer night,
That opened doors,
That walked by my side,
That talked for hours,
That listened for hours,
That watched the boats,
That showed me new places,
That lifted my spirits,
That took me away,
That swept me off my feet,
That was so kind,
That smiled so freely,
That understands,
That is so far away,
That doesn't even know.


N.O.--
I lost my heart to a pair of beautiful blue eyes that stared so intently into mine. It could have been the muddy water or the millions of stars in the skythat made me fall. Maybe I was just lonely and wanted to fall. As I stood on the banks of that river and stared out over the railing across the vast water I was overwhelmed. It could have been the nightlife or the drinks that made me fall. As we walked, his hand was in mine and I was laughing. It could have been the big city and tall buildings that thrilled me so much. As I stood, his arms were around me, and I could feel his breath in my hair. He was so close to me and so warm. I could do nothing but close my eyes and try to keep my heart from flying away into the night. I knew from moment one he could not be mine, but what I wouldn't have given at that moment for a chance. What I wouldn't give at this moment for a chance.


The touch of the Unicorn--
She walked through the tall grass towards that special place -- A place were time was endless and dreams became reality. As she sat alone among the trees and birds, she caught a glimpse of white beyond the shadows of the foliage surrounding her. As she watched quietly, an ivory white horn appeared from behind a nearby tree. Then it showed itself. It was the most majestic beast she had ever seen. A long flowing mane fell ever so slightly over his graceful neck as he bent down to drink delicately from the stream that trickled happily past them. As he finished drinking, he lifted his head and shook it proudly with a frenzy of white mane. She did not dare move in fear of frightening this awesome beast away. Slowly, he began to move toward her transfixed body. As he came nearer, she realized his grand size. She extended her hand outward, and he lowered his grayish muzzle into her snow-white palm. Gently, she stroked the velvety fur and ran her fingers through his flowing mane. As she began to stand up, the mighty stallion reared, and she reeled back in surprise. The unicorn ran off into the trees with his hooves thundering in her ears. At first she was saddened by his departure, but hten something deep inside her told her that her dreams would someday come true, and they have already begun to, for te touch of the Unicorn is magical.


I tried to wish into a wishing well and got only an echo.
I tried to wish upon a falling star and got only darkness.
I tried to make white horses of the clouds and got only white clouds.
I tried to will roses to grow from the ground and got only blades of grass.
I tried to love and got only pain.

I turned my back on the wishing well, and it whispered my name.
I let a star fall in my hand and closed my eyes tight.
I climbed up among the clouds, and I saw a new world.
I planted a seedling and will tend the roses as they grow.
I did not try to love, and I do.


I can see your eyes, steel blue, in the clouds;
I can feel your lips, tender, on the breeze;
I can hear your voice, soft, in the trees.

I can feel your arms about me, gently, wrapped in my blanket;
I can sense you spirit, wild and free, in the night.

You are ever within me, ever present in my thoughts and in my dreams.

Sometimes I feel I will fly with simply the thought of you,
Sometimes I feel I will cry with simply the thought of you.

It is like a dream;
It is a dream.

I know it cannot be;
You cannot know.

I must continue to find you
In the clouds,
On the breeze,
In the trees,
In my dreams.


A Child's Dog
A young lawyer by the name of George Graham Vest spoke the following words in a Missouri courtroom in a trial where a man's dog was killed by another man:
"The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog."
The words are clear and true. Everyone needs a dog, especialy a child. The relationship that grows between a dog and a child is one of the most touching events in the world, and a child never forgets that brown-eyed shaggy friend that patiently listens to the accomplishments and defeats of his master. He understands happiness and congratulates it with vigorous wags of his bushy tail accompanied by small, energetic bounces. He understands sadness, and his moist, scratchy tongue kisses away fat tears that roll down young cheeks. They, as a pair will leave the world with a memory of a dog and a child tumbling through the green spring grass, wet with the morning dew.


Farewell and take care! 1