OK, so now I take the four year old to the emergency room. Sign-in. Name, Age, Complaint. James, 4, bead up nose. So, we see the screening nurse, bead up nose, surely we must be kidding. She takes her little flashlight, nope we're not kidding. OK, take these papers to the next nurse. We'll get right to you.

Ok, we sit in the waiting area. They call his name, and show us past the doors...Right away, I knew there could be trouble. Like many emergency rooms, it has bays, and a few rooms. The bays are separated by curtains. We were shown into a room. And, on the doors it said "Suture Room." I knew why we were there. They didn't want his screams to frighten the other patients. That's why we were in a room, they could close the doors!

After we get in the room, James looks at me and says "Mommy, no blood, OK?"

I look at him and say "Honey, I can't make you any promises."

He has no clue, he's playing around, pushing the pedals on the table. I'm standing out in the hallway. They are treating all the priority "A" patients first. We clearly are not in any serious danger. After all, he's bouncing around just like normal. OK, they pull his chart out of the "B" pile. One of the doctors begins reading it...

"Bead stuck up nose."

"Oh man, I hate those."

"How old is he?"

"Four."

"You know how small his nose is?"

"Well, I wonder what size the bead is..."

"It won't be too bad if it has a hole..."

"Well, if it's not too far up..."

"Does it say what type of bead, I hope it's not wooden, splinters..."

"I'm not doing it...I did the last one..."

"Look, I'm not digging into some small kids nose..."

"OK, Ok, I'll do it, I did something like this at his age..."

So, some Captain (a Military Doctor) comes walking towards us. Introduces himself to James, and shakes his hand. Trying to win the child's trust, good idea, since you are about to dig into his nose.

"Come sit up here on my table James."

James climbs up on the table, sure no problem.

"James, let me see your nose"

Hey, no big deal, he's been showing it to everyone. Doctor takes a look, and then starts sorting through his pile of forceps. Doctor questions me about the bead.

"Is it plastic?"

"Yes."

"Does it have a hole?"

"Yes."

Doctor is obviously relieved at these answers. I make some comments about the choices. A regular pair of tweezers isn't going to work here. Doctor sorts through again, we come upon a pair we both believe might work.

"James, why not let Mom hold your glasses for a minute."

Doctor grasps tightly onto James forehead and says, "This is going to hurt a little, but you have to hold still."

Doctor then inserts forceps into nose and grabs hold of bead. James makes very nasty face, and whines a little. Doctor gets bead out, reminds me a little of a certain nasty scene in Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Doctor then leaves room, bead still in forceps.

James puts glasses back on, and hops off the table.

"He didn't give me MY BEAD BACK!"

Mom is completely shocked by this comment.

"Honey, if you want that bead back, you are going to have to go ask him for it yourself."

Obviously, this is a very important bead. We went to great lengths to protect it from older brother, and at considerable pain and self-sacrifice. So, he marches right out of the room, and towards the desk where the doctor is showing his colleagues the results of his exam. He pulls on the doctor's tunic and...

"I want my bead back!"

This comment brings peals of laughter from all the staff at the desk. The doctor cannot believe what he just heard.

"You want your bead back?"

Four year old shakes his head affirmative. Doctor looks at me, then back at the four year old.

"OK, let me clean it up first."

Doctor then rinses off the bead, puts it in a ... specimen cup. Then bends over to talk to four year old.

"First you have to promise not to put it back up your nose." Four year old shakes head in the affirmative again.

"And, you can't put anything else up your nose, either." Four year old again agrees to this condition.

"OK, you can have it back."

Doctor hands over specimen container to James. James is now delighted with shaking the container...he has a new toy. Doctor also gives James a sticker for being such a good patient. Mom signs paperwork. Then doctor reveals that when he was about that age, he put a bullet primer up his nose. Must be a male thing, I don't know. James leaves the hospital shaking container with left hand and grasping sticker tightly in the right. What does the sticker say?  "WILD THING!"  And, this is my quieter child.

Dee
reminding you, keep small items away from your menfolk.

Return to Beginning of Story

Return to Pictures of Dee's Boys.

Return to Dee's Links page.

Return to Dee's Opening Page

        This page hosted by         Get your own Free Homepage