It has been over a year since I've written for the website. A lot has happened and as I begin wrapping up my, what seemed-to-be, never ending sentence, I reflect back but also begin planning for my anxiously awaited release date.

The time has been difficult, as I'm sure it is supposed to be. I've experienced a lot of heartache, shed a lot of tears but the verse from the bible that my dad drilled into my head several years ago, has once again proved true. Phillipians 4:13--"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." When I felt like I had walked my last step and had no desire to try to take another one, I simply cried out to our merciful God and let Him take it from there. And of course He did. Slowly He'd get me back on my feet fresh and ready to start again.

Since my dads been gone I've learned to really lean on our true Father. I've found that He's not just some "existance" out there in the solar system somewhere but He is right here. I've learned to talk with Him, laugh with Him, and cry with Him. Knowing that He's here to stay. He wants us to cry "Abba" Father, which simply means Daddy. What a comfort it has been to me to know that even in prison, my Father has been beside me the whole time. Don't get me wrong, He has let me see some pretty rotten times--some pretty scary times. But those are the times that have forced me to grow in my faith and my trust in Him. He told us we would go through the fire but He promised we would never go through it alone. He would be there every step of the way. And when we come out, we come out as pure as gold.

What a trip this has been. I never want to do it again. But in the same respect, I'll never forget this saved my life and forced me into the reality that there is a purpose for my existance. I doubted that for so many years but I finally had to ask myself, "If my life was not important, would God have gone through so much trouble to salvage me?" I really don't think so.

One other thing that has held me together and gave me hope and encouragement was and is my loved ones. That is the biggest gift God has given me next to my life. I look around me and see so many lives that are void of love. The chance of these individuals surviving in a real world is slim to none. ALL of you people that have loved ones incarcerated that you write to, visit, or speak to on the phone....GOD BLESS YOU! One thing I've noticed is that the time I've done separated from these wonderful people is not much different from the time they have been separated from me. These people live this time right around with us. Our happiness, our sadness, our fears, our frustrations...its no different for them. What an honor and a privilege it will be to walk right back into the arms of those wonderful people that I was forced to say good-bye to a few years ago. What's exciting is now I've got the chance to be a whole person. Capable of loving back the way I was loved all these years. I was strung out on drugs and unable to feel much of anything. I can truly be that person that they all believed I could be. What a long road its been but thank God it was not a dead-end. No matter how hopeless we feel or how lost we get, we have someone waiting right there reaching out to take a hold of our hand and give us a life we used to only dream about. I'm personally very grateful for that.

I also want to take the opportunity to thank Tom Lagana and the crew that is working on Chicken Soup For The Prisoner's Soul. It has been a real pleasure working on this project with you all. It does my heart good to see that there are people out there trying to reach out to desperate, lonely souls. I think the book will do more good than any of us ever imagined. May God bless all of you and your efforts.

George Bailey

© 1997

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