Through an error in the News of yesterday morning the essay and valedictory of Miss Mary Lufkin Van Alstyne was omitted in the account of the Ball high school graduating exercises and in the place where it should have been was the essay of Miss Olive Beatrice Norman. The essay and valedictory delivered by Miss Van Alstyne was as follows:
Do you remember when you wrote essays? Do you recall the wildly despairing efforts to collect your wandering thought? Every essay written represents countless battles. Therefore let us not be severed and critical, but rather kind and sympathetic--we who stove so hard for literary eminence and failed. To all would-be essayists I offer these few suggestions:
The first difficulty in writing an essay is in making up one's mind to write at all. This is a desperate struggle. It requires all the strength of body and mind to defeat the robbers of the present hour. Once victorious, you set out, emboldened by a feeling of conscious virtue in pursuit of a subject. The world is full of subjects. The most delusive are "Subjects for Thought." True, there never was a thought without a subject, but in the laboratory of the brain the innumerable stores of bottle wisdom lose their labels. It is impossible to concoct a reasonable compound without understanding the nature of the materials.
The most appropriate goal is a philosophical one-one that has been tried by Bacon or Carlyle. Precedent is requisite...It is the fashion nowadays. So fin-de-siecle you know! But you seldom find a willing bearer at whom to launch a shaft. An essay affords excellent opportunity.
Do not presume on the knowledge of your audience. No one knows much in warm weather. It is advisable to explain fully on all points. Be eloquent. Make your language flowery, exceedingly flowerly. If the flowers give out, try jewels. If the heat be very oppressive, a fanciful illusion to green trees by cool breezes fanned, or silvery moonlight minus the mosquitoes is interesting. It causes discontent and Ruskin says dissatisfaction with the existing state of affairs is necessary to improvement. Introduce a few learned quotations. No essay would be conventional without them. Choose familiar ones if you can. People like to recognise what they hear. It shows evidence of a good memory.
The use of interrogation is very effective. For since the audience has no voice in the matter, you can answer your own questions in a way highly satisfactory to yourself and presumably to others. Avoid short sentences. They are too easily understood. Accustom yourself to long, involved constructions which require considerable mental dexterity to make the connection. If you can not embody a thought in words, put it between the lines. This helps to fill up vacant spaces.
Every graduate is starting forth in life--life so full of trials and sorrows. Bid a tearful farewell to childhood. You may never giggle again. To-morrow you will be quite an aged person. At such an eventful period in one's career, humor is out of place. Some energetic exhortations to be on and doing are much more appropriate.
Make your essay long. You may never get another chance to read one. Counting the pages will serve as a device to keep the audience awake. Above all, do not try to be original. You can't so you would be better keep in the safe but time-worn grove lest your little budding wings be injured by flights into untried regions.
In time the essay has been the bugbear of humanity ever since Mother Eve seated little Cain and Abel upon a stone to scratch their observations upon a plantain leaf.
Good friends, kind friends, it waxeth late. The sandman grows impatient. He, like all of us, awaits his turn with eagerness. His turn comes every night and ours but once. He brings sweet sleep to lull the cares of day, and we--only a few modest little thoughts wrapped in modest little phrases and spoken in the meekest of modest little voices. Yet, may we hope that these our well-meant efforts may find a temporary lodging in your remembrance?
The most appropriate subject is a philosophical one--one that has been tried by Carlyle. Precedent is requisite in such a momentous undertaking. You must have remarkable ideas, of course. Every one has. It is the fashion nowadays. So fin-de-siecle, you know! But you seldom find a willing hearer at whom to launch a shaft. An essay affords excellent opportunity.
by Mary Lufkin Van Alstyne