Hello, if you are here because you have panic disorder, know someone who does or are just curious I welcome you to my page. My story begins in 1982, when I had my first full-blown panic attack while eating out for dinner. At first I put it down as maybe having low blood sugar, a virus or anything else as I had never heard of panic disorder, let alone experienced it. That year was a stressful one, a new baby, new house in a new town and my father died of a tragic accident at the age of 41, I feel all these things combined worked as a catalyst which started the panic attacks. For seven years I suffered alone, in silence, many times feeling as if I was going crazy, not knowing what was wrong with me! Then one day I was reading the paper and there was an advertisement for a Psychiatrist offering help for panic disorder, and after reading the list of symptoms, I realized this is what I had. I had been checked by a regular medical doctor but nothing ever showed up to account for my symptoms. If you or someone you know has experienced what they think may be signs of panic disorder, I do urge you to get checked medically first to make sure there are no underlying problems.

Signs and symptoms of panic disorder may include, rapid heartbeat, trouble breathing(hyperventilating or feeling as if you can't catch your breath), dizziness, tingling and numbness, chest discomfort, feeling like you are out of control, going crazy or dying. The list of symptoms is pretty scary to experience, especially when you feel like you have them all at once! Well back to the story, after meeting with the Psychiatrist I was put on Xanax, which really turned my life around. For the first time in years I was feeling more in control of myself and able to leave the house and do things with my family. I still had a lot of learned behavior to work on as even though the symptoms had subsided, the anticipation of having another attack was still there. In 1992, I went off Xanx as we had a big surprise, baby number three was on the way:) At the time it was thought that being on xanax was unsafe while pregnant, while today thoughts have changed somewhat and if the mother's condition warrants it, Xanax may be continued. It is quite important that this should be discussed with the woman's doctor and decided between the doctor and patient. While the web is a good place to find information, it should never replace a trained medical specialist.

In 1993, our daughter was born, as many women do, I did not experience panic attacks while pregnant. After the baby was born and in the next couple of years I was still doing pretty well, no panics, but still had some generalized anxiety. In 1995 our fourth surprise was born, another baby girl! I was still doing pretty well, even with four children *S*.

Considering that I was doing well, it came as a big shock when in 1997 I experienced an "out of the blue" panic attack! I was devastated, but this time I knew what was happening and was prescribed Paxil and Xanax, which did help. I also joined an online support group so this time I did not have to go through this alone. Many of us are still together today and have become great friends as well as a great source of support.

As of today I have still not conquered this disorder, but I know I did it once I will do it again. I am on Celexa and Klonopin now. I am also going through therapy, dealing with past issues, its not easy, but I am learning more about myself in the process.

Thank you if you have read this far! I just want to let you know that with all the support and resources out there you do not have to go through this alone. My panic and anxiety disorder links have great pages that discuss many aspects of this disorder. Please feel free to email me if you have any questions or just need someone to talk to. God Bless!

Judi-March 5, 2001