Pursue His Presence,
Perform His Purpose
( Exodus 33:14, Matthew 24:14 ) 		M
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Pastor's Turf    by S.Pastor Kelly Yap

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK AT MARRIAGE VOWS

Falling in love is a beautiful experience. When you finally found the one that you desire and love, you would want to keep your "find" and spend the rest of your life cherishing your "treasure". When both the man and woman share similar feelings and affections for each other, they can consent to enter into a marriage relationship that enjoins them physically and spiritually together.

In order for every relationship to last, it must be meaningful and purposeful. It must always be refreshed and sustained, never to lose its direction and objective. The wedding vows we pledge to each other is the key to success for every marriage accord. Remember and uphold them always!

Let us take a closer look at marriage vows that are exchanged between the MAN and the WOMAN.

For the MAN, his pledge would be ...
"... loyalty to the woman as your wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony. To love, comfort, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse ... till death do you part. To forsake all others, you would keep yourself only to her, so long as you both shall live."

For the WOMAN, her pledge would be ...
"... loyalty to the man as your wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony. To obey, serve, love, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse ... till death do you part. To forsake all others, you would keep yourself only to him, so long as you both shall live."

When we forget to give, share, concede or sacrifice, so often selfish conceit will get the better of us. It will eventually wear down any marriage relationship. What used to be an environment of joy, warmth, security and fulfillment is replaced with disillusion, disappointment, mistrust and agony. To escape and get out of the accord is a relief. If you are thinking about it ... perish the thought!

Before you think about 'abandoning ship', take a real good look at yourself. Are you still as loving and caring as before? Are you sincerely sticking to your marriage vows and keeping them? We often find fault and blame our partner, when the problem is really us. Admit your short-comings and with God's help and strength, gradually work at improving yourself and reinforce your relationship.

Beyond the honeymoon and as the years go by, as the kids arrive and the responsibilities abound, and as age catches up, may we continue to maintain our vows of commitment to each other as MAN and WOMAN, husband and wife ... before God and man, a faithful and glorious testimony of love!

Editor's Page    by A.Pastor Suen Yap

Jesus, as Lord and Saviour of our lives was also a Great Teacher. He was an excellent story-teller. It was significant that Jesus taught and used many parables in this communication of truth to the multitudes. At one time in His ministry, He used this method of speaking in parables to the massses (Matthew 13:3,34). A parable is simply defined as an earthly story with a spiritual meaning, usually a comparison of two subjects for the purpose of teaching. It was an effective method of revealing truths to the spiritual and ready mind and at the same time concealing it from others (Matthew 13:11).

Our attention for this article is the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins recorded in Matthew 25:1~13. It teaches watchfulness for Christ's return. The promise of Christ's return was given in Acts 1:11 that He will return bodily and literally for His own. Will this promise happen? Absolutelly! The Bible is full of references to this glorious event, the blessed hope of every believer (Titus 2:13).

In Matthew 25:1~13, Jesus teaches the necessity of preparedness for His return. He compares the Second Coming to a joyful wedding procession in which the unprepared cannot participate.

Let's consider the wise virgins mentioned in Matthew 25 - But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps . In other words, the wise took a supply of oil in the vessels in addition to the oil already in their lamps. Therefore, they are prepared for the unexpected delay of the bridegroom (verse 5).

In Matthew 25:9&10, while they (the foolish) went to buy, the bridegroom came and those who were ready went in with Him to the wedding and the door was shut. The foolish returned with shocked disappointment. It was a rude awakening. The door was shut. It was too late. Their carelessness and lackdaisical attitude and lifestyle ruined their joy and destiny. So, we, as believers in the Lord, must be vigilant, alert and be watchful at all times while waiting for the imminent Return of the Lord. Do not allow any trace of habitual sins, bondages or spiritual slothfulness have a stronghold in your lives. If we know we have fallen or sinned, repent and ask God to forgive us in Jesus' Name.

In Matthew 25:13, Jesus' command was 'watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming'. This is a very important verse to remember whenever one considers the Second Coming of Christ. No one, except the Father, knows the time of His Return (Matthew 24:36, Mark 13:2). Throughout history, believers have mistakenly tried to determine when the Lord will return. No one can pinpoint exactly the time of Jesus' Coming. Do not waste time in this aspect!

The challenge the Lord gives us is to be constantly and eagerly waiting for His Return. We are to prepare ourselves for His coming so that the Lord will receive a bride without spot or wrinkle (Ephesians 5:27) and to be about the Father's business on earth until He returns (Luke 19:11~27).

Let us live in expectation of the Master's Return and be done with all idle speculation or date setting regarding the time of His coming.

The promise of Christ's return is to motivate us to be faithful to the assignment/work/duties/ministries He has given each of us to do.

The hope of His Coming is to be a source of comfort for us who await Him. (I Thess.4:13~18).

We are to be ready for our Lord's Return, but nobody knows the day and hour when that will be.

ARE YOU READY FOR HIS RETURN ???

Testimonials

1. Scripture Reference: Jeremiah 17:14

This is a testimony to the Glory of our Lord God, our caring Father who has mercy upon us and also, proof that prayer is such a powerful way to intercede in our lives.

Somtime ago, I asked our sisters to include a young woman whom I knew in Germany, in their prayers. This lady was told by her doctor when she was four months pregnant, that the boy she would bear would be a mongoloid boy. The chances would be 95% to 5%. this young woman had the fortitude to bear the child to term and prayed for a miracle the the 5% would be God's choice. On 19 March, the child was born. Neither the parents nor the doctor could believe it when they set eyes on a perfectly healthy, beautiful 8lb boy!

We thank God our Father for not ceasing to work His miracles. Thanks also to our dear sisters for extending their love to help those in need.

Praise the Lord!

In humbleness,
A Christian.

2. "Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up ... " I Thessalonians 5:11.

Once again, I have been reminded to give praise and glory to God for His everlasting faithfulness and goodness. May this testimony be a blessing to those in need.

October 1996 brought a new turn in life for me when I was prompted to say the prayer, "Purify my heart, Lord." God responded through His servant, "Changes will happen ... wait." Little did I know that purification was a painful process.

In the meantime, I was thrown into a whirlwind of assignments, hectic schedule, new friends, etc. as I started college life in early 1997. It was tough as I battled on in my studies and in a weary condition; I made many disastrous decisions. One would be the infamous BGR (boy-girl relationship). Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against special relationships. However, in my case, it was very wrong because I left God out of my will. Trudging on through the days, the load became heavier and heavier.

I realise now that life turns upside down when other things of the world predominate your attention and heart. Remember that our God is a jealous God. It was a tough lesson learnt when, through His divine intervention, He terminated the relationship. Many tears fell as I dealt with my heart and spirit. But as I said, God is faithful! During this time, He showed me a lot of other things that I needed to clear up at the same time ... my proud nature, my selfishness, self-condemnation, too high expectations of myself and people, etc. The wonderful thing about our awesome Lord is that He offers a lending hand in the changes one decide to make; there is not a single trace of condemnation, instead abundant love! "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise", Psalms 51:17. I came into terms of who I am and my position in Christ. By now, it was already half-way into 1998.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11. Armed with this verse, I walked into varsity of life. Only here did I understand the purpose of being refined in God's fire. Hidden beneath all the apparent and physical changes in my character, God silently instilled in me a strength beyond understanding and comprehension. The joy of the Lord goes with me till this day and many heavy burdens are made light in Him who carries it for me (Matthew 11:28). This trust in Jesus cannot be penned on paper but for those who are with me, you would understand the indescribable feeling. I testify for this goodness because I believe it is the will of God for each and every child of His to come to this level of faith and even more in future. I also testify that it is real as many of my non-Christian friends see the absence of anxiousness in life over my studies and they know that there is a divine presence with me.

As I end, I encourage the family of GA to continue to allow Him to work in your lives and to purify your hearts. Fear not of the pain or even sacrifices that you may have to make for nothing can be better than to be found in the will of God. He is our Abba Father and He would not withold good things from those who love Him. We can go very far in obedience to our Lord. I know as life proceeds for me, there will be even more challenges and purifying processes but I have the assurance of His love that He would never forsake nor leave me. Fight on GA, as we move into the new millennium, that when we stand before Him on the Day, we may hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

(Anonymous)

3. Count Your Blessings

Very often, we see blessings as something physical and visible - beautiful house, fanciful car, good job, high pay, etc. However, these are transient, they come and go. From my own experience, I realise that blessings can come disguised in trials and afflictions, resulting in our closer relationship with God and in the moulding of our character to the image of Christ, which is more precious than silver and gold.

I would like to share with you three such blessings from the Lord:

Blessing No. 1 - My decision to remain committed to God
My father's death was the time when my faith and commitment to God was really tested. My dad was all the world to me. When he died suddenly without my knowing whether he was saved or not, my whole world came crashing down on me. I felt cheated by God. From the moment I accepted Christ, I had held God to His promise that I and my household will be saved. For two years, I resented God until one day a friend asked me, "If God is really your God and King, would you not serve Him even if your father was not saved? " At that instant, something inside me just clicked and I acknowledged that God is really my God and King and realised the significance of what Matthew 10:37 means - "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me." Later, I realised that God did not cheat me. Whether my father accepted Christ or not was his prerogative. God had given him the freedom of choice.

Blessing No. 2 - Salvation of my mother and mother-in-law
After my father's death, I told myself that my mother must stay with me so that I can be sure she accepts Christ. Besides, I am her only child. Mum came to stay with us and at that time my mother-in-law was also staying with us. Things came to a head and both mothers had to leave our house. It was a painful period then, with lots of recriminations and hurting remarks made. It was then when I had to learn that love is not a feeling but a commitment and meekness is not to think lowly of oneself but to be willing to be hurt and not fight back to defend oneself. Out of this painful experience, God in His own time (about 17 years) and wisdom saved my mother and mother-in-law within the same week.

Blessing No. 3 - Submission of my ambition and learning Faith and Trust in God
From the first day of my working life, I have adopted Colossians 3:23 as my motto - "Whatever your task, work heartily as serving the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you are serving the Lord Christ." Somehow, somewhere along the line, pride came in the way. Instead of looking to God for my reward, I was looking to man. I worked very hard but I had a very stingy employer. I was very frustrated and asked God to let me out of the organisation. I tried to get out many times but without success. I was very miserable but I was still working eventhough the rewards were not here. I kept consoling myself that I was working for the Lord, reminding myself of Colossians 3:23, until one day in my Quiet Time, Proverbs 16:25,26 spoke to me:

"There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
The person who labours, labours for himself,
For his hungry mouth drives him on."

I asked the Lord, "You mean all these times I was working so hard, I was doing it for myself and not for You? I'm not hungry, I have enough to eat, so what is driving me on?" The Lord told me that the hunger that I had was the hunger for man's recognition that I am good at my work. I repented and told the Lord that I wanted to cease from labour.

Five months later, a friend unexpectedly called and offered me a post that came with a car, overseas holiday and higher pay. The offer was very tempting but I knew that if I took up the offer, I would have to labour again, as that organisation had the reputation of being a slave driver. I brought the matter before the Lord and He spoke to me through I Corinthians 7:23 - "You were bought with a price, do not become slaves of men." I knew that the values of that organisation were contradictory to God's values and if I took up the offer, I would be selling my freedom and values to them. By God's grace, He helped me to see the trap men use to enslave others to themselves by dangling before them cars, bigger pay package, scope of advancement as carrots to entice a person to sell his/her values and become a slave. So, I turned down the offer and waited upon the Lord, although I was quite desperate to leave the bank.

He kept me in the bank for there were more precious lessons to be learnt. Exactly one year before I actually left the bank, He gave me a paradigm shift. I realised that I was in the bank because I chose to be there and I had to take responsibility of that choice and not blame God for that choice, as I had done in the past. From then on, I concentrated my energy to work in the area where I had control, which was to nurture my staff in my department and not waste my energy in the Circle of Concern, which I had no control.

The Lord finally took me out of the bank, out of stress and frustration that came along with the climb of the corporate ladder, when I finally learnt to deal with my gripe on my yearly salary adjustment. I used to get upset every year, irrespective of whether I received a promotion or not. The last two years before I left the bank, with God's grace I was able to gain victory over that area in my life.

As I look at my friends who are still in the corporate world, I feel so blessed to be out of the rat race. The ambition to succeed in the corporate world seems so distant and alien now. Yes, I am no longer the Company Secretary and Head of the Legal Department of a foreign bank but a homemaker, but I am so much happier as a person, being at peace with my God, with man and with myself. I was a very angry person but God in His mercy has changed me and took away the anger within me. I thank and praise Him for those 16 years in the bank where I learnt humility and faith to trust in Him.

It has been almost three years now, since I left the bank. God has been faithfully supplying all my family's needs abundantly more than I can even think or imagined. Jeremiah 29:11-13 really holds true for me where it says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm yo, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

I am reminded of Jeremiah 45:5, where God rebuked Baruch the scribe thus:"And do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them; for behold I will bring adversity on all flesh." said the Lord. "But I will give your life as a price in all places, wherever you go."

Sometimes we need to be reminded, as Baruch was. We may not see the realisation of our dreams. We may not reach the potential we think we have. We may never take our place among the rich and famous of this world. But compared to the gift of life, which God has given us, these things mean little. "Seek them not" is still some of the best advise Scripture has for the godly. Instead of wanting what we do not have, let us be grateful for God's gift of life and salvation and use our lives to serve Him.

"Satisfaction is not found in getting what we want, but in wanting what we get."

"Are you seeking great things for yourself? God wants you in a closer relationship to Himself than receiving His gifts. He wants you to get to know Him. There is nothing easier than getting into a right relationship with Him except when it is not God whom you want but only what He gives." - Oswald Chambers.

By Sis. Heng Lai Chee

The conversations of Jesus
by Chuck J.Goldberg

Considering the conversations He had, Jesus had to be the most politically incorrect person of His time. However, His bridging of those cultural gaps consistenly brought salvation and healing.

Zaccheus was among several outcasts Jesus personally converted - the chief tax collector so thoroughly despised that the people muttered that Jesus had gone to the guest of a sinner. Yet, salvation came to the former swindler. (See Luke 19:7-9)

Salvation came also for the sinful woman who poured expensive perfume on Jesus as He ate at a Pharisee's house. Jesus used a parable to correct His host's thinking and pardoned the woman. (See Luke 7:37-50) He did the same thing for the woman caught in adultery, after successfully sidestepping the trap the religious leaders set for Him. (See John 8:3-11)

Jesus spoke with a Samaritan woman at Jacob's well, a conversation that was not supposed to happen, for the Jews despised the Samaritans. (See John 4:9) The animosity was so great that Jews travelling between Galilee and Judea regularly took a circuitous route to avoid Samaria. Even the disciples once faced Jesus' rebuke for their hostility to the Samaritans. (See Luke 9:55,56) Jesus, however, spoke with the Samaritan woman in what remains one of the greatest examples of personal evangelism in the Bible. At once she returned to town to tell others of her encounter, and many believed in Jesus. Two days later, even more Samaritans believed. (See John 4:39-42) Jesus also healed a Samaritan leper (Luke 17:16); honored a Samaritan for his neighbourliness (Luke 10:30-37); and told His disciples they would witness in Samaria after the received the baptism in the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:8).

Of course, success did not always follow Christ's every personal encounter. Among those rejecting Him were the rich young ruler (Mark 10:22,23); the hypocritical ruler of the synagogue (Luke 13:15); Judas Iscariot (John 13:27); Pilate (Luke 23:3,4); and the high priest and his officer (John 18:22-24).

Jesus spoke with many people who found healing. Among them were the woman subject to bleeding (Luke 8:46-48); Jairus and his daughter (Luke 8:50; Mark 5:41); the leper (Matthew 8:3); the blind men (Matthew 9:28-30); the man with the withered hand (Matthew 12:13); and the demon-possessed man (Mark 5:2-20).

The totality of Jesus' conversations throughout the Gospels reveals that He wasted no words. As Paul later advocated, Jesus spoke "only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29, NIV).

What the Bible says about
Love and Marriage   
(adapted from Pentecostal Evangel, Feb.14,1999)

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" - (Genesis 2:18,24)

Mother's Day Special
(adapted from Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul)

It's been 26 years since my army buddy Dan and I loaded his metallic blue 427 Corvette with ice coolers, cut-offs and T-shirts, and drove past the somber-faced military police at Fort McClellan's main gate. Armed with weekend passes and pockets full of crisp, new dollars from out first week's pay at our army reserve summer camp, we were on our way to Florida - and the army was the last thing on our minds. Blessed by not finding our names on the weekend duty roster, we had decided a weekend at the beach would be just the thing we needed to recover from four days of C-rations and mosquitoes in the hills of eastern Alabama.

Our camp that year was early. The May weather had been delightful, and with the top down and stereo up, we cruised into Birmingham and decided to stop and phone our mothers and wish them happy Mother's Day before resuming our journey south on I-65.

Reaching my mother at home, I learned she had just returned from grocery shopping. I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was disappointed I wouldn't be spending her special day with the family. "Have a nice trip and be careful. We'll miss you," she said.

When I got back into the car, I could tell by Dan's face that he was suffering the same guilty concience that was haunting me. Then we had a brainstorm. Send flowers, of course!

Pulling into the parking lot of a southside Birmingham florist, we each scribbled a note to go with the flowers that would absolve us of the guilt of spending our only free weekend on the beach rather than with dear old mom.

We waited while the clerk assisted a little boy who was selecting a floral arrangement, obviously for his mother. Fidgeting by now, we were anxious to pay for our flowers and be on our way.

The little boy beamed with pride as he turned to me and held up his selection while the clerk rang up his order. "I'm sure my mama would love these," he said. "Theses are carnations. Mama always loved carnations."

"I'm going to put them with some flowers from our yard, " he added, "before I take them to the cemetery. "

I looked up at the clerk, who was turning away and reaching for a handkerchief. Then I looked at Dan. We watched the little boy leave the store with his prized bouquet and crawl into the back seat of his dad's car.

"Have you fellas made a selection?" asked the clerk, barely able to speak.

"I guess we have," answered Dan. We dropped our notes in the trash and walked to his car in silence.

"I'll pick you up Sunday evening abour five, " said Dan, as he pulled up in front of my parents' house.

"I'll be ready," I answered, as I wrestled my duffel bag out of the back of the car.

Florida would have to wait!

What Kind of Fathers
Do We Need?
by Glen Cole (Pentecostal Evangel, June 16 1996)

A proverb for fathers is, "Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children" - Proverbs 17:6

In today's language that means grandchildren are the crown of old age, and the glory of children is in their fathers.

If the glory of children is in their fathers, what kind of fathers do we need?

FAITHFUL

KINGDOM

Father, God wants to hear from your regularly. Make yourself available to Him so He can touch His world through you with His creative power.

God had to search for that first Adam; so often, He has to search for us because we're unavailable. If you are going to be the glory of your chilren, then you are going to have to be available to God and to your family. Adjust your schedule, if needed, to be used of Him.

TITHER

A man who robs God is robbing himself and his family of blessings. A tither is a man who knows his blessings come from God, not from his own skill or brillance. Tithing was instituted by God for man's benefit - not for His benefit.

I don't want any of those dollars back that I have tithed, because God has multiplied them in my life and in my family. I would be a fool to ever want them or to hold back the tithe which the Bible says is the Lord's.

If you are going to be the crowning glory of your children, tithe and do it regularly. When you make that determination, God smiles and says, "Well, now I can do something miraculous for you."

HONEST

Dishonesty permeates society, but it is not permitted by God.

John Ruskin said, "To make your children capable of honesty is the beginning of education." Have you been honest with God? Your companion? Your children? Your boss? Yourself? Your word must be your bond.

ENTHUSIASTIC

The word enthusiastic (from the Greek word, entheos) literally means "God in us." With God, you have something to live for and something to die for.

"For to me, to live is Christ," the apostle Paul said, "to die is gain." Let a man lose everything but his enthusiasm, and he will come through again to success.

Are you enthusiastic about God? Your family? Your job? Your church? Someone wrote that one man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who is a succes.

RESPONSIBLE

Be responsible for discipline. I recently read: "There was a lot more character, a lot more reverence, a lot less crimes, rape, unwed pregnancies, promiscuity and child abuse, when a woodshed stood behind every American home.

Solomon said, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child; but in the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." - (Proverbs 22:15).

Discipline - it's the father's basic responsibility. Discipline doesn't mean losing your temper and striking with uncontrolled rage; it means lovingly administering responsible discipline. After the worst of the crying subsides, sweep the children up in your arms and tell them how much you love them and weep and mingle your tears with theirs.

Be responsible to provide. "If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (See 1 Timothy 5:8).

According to a nationwide survey of children, the comment they most often hear from their fathers is, "I'm too tired". The second, "We don't have enough money". The third, "Keep Quiet". But how thrilling when children receive affection from their father and thus desire to be like him.

What are you going to be, boy
When you have reached your manhood years?
A doctor, lawyer, or orator great,
Moving throngs to laughter and tears?
But he shook his head,
As he gave a reply.
In a serious way he had.
I don't think I care to be any of them
I want to be like my dad.

Fathers, our families need us. Let's be faithful.

Love Rekindled by Kristy Roberts Dykes

"Many families are touched by divorce - ours included," Steve and Darlene Allen say. "If by telling our story someone is helped, then it's worth it."

Today, their marriage is stable, loving and Christ-honoring. But it wasn't always.

The Allens married young, then entered Bible college. "I lived for the day I could start my ministry as a missionary," Steve says. After pastoring and serving as district youth director of South Carolina, "we were on our way to India."

Life seemed perfect in India. Steve preached to his people, and miracles occured. Darlene ministered to indian women. Studying at International Institute of Tamil Studies, they had the opportunity to witness to Dr. Irulappan, an influential professor of linguistics.

Then Darlene got sick. For six months, she barely functioned. Her glands and tongue were so swollen that she struggled to talk and eat. When her white blood cell count dipped between 800 and 900 (normal is between 8,000 and 10,000), a missionary director advised Steve to get her to the States. The night before she left, Dr. Irulappan was gloriously saved, and they rejoice over their greatest victory in India.

In the States, tests revealed Darlene had agranulocytosis-leukopenia, the opposite of leukemia. Doctors said she'd be dead within 24 hrs; but when she survived that, they gave her 30 days and called Steve to come immediately. When Steve got the call, he beesched God to heal his wife, weeping as he pounded on the terrazo floor, "Lord, I have to hear from You." In the stillness, God spoke. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be courageous. When they tell you she's dying, stretch forth your hand and I'll deliver her. She will live.

"When Steve and the children arrived, I was so glad to see them," Darlene says. "Isolation meant gowns and masks since doctors warned any contact with germs would cause death within minutes." She lay there thinking, What will death be like? expecting Steve to take her in his arms and cry with her.

"As soon as you're healed, I want to get right back to India," Steve told her.

She was devastated. "All he cared about was his precious ministry," she says.

"If I could get a glimpse of what the Lord had shown me, I knew she'd get well immediately," he says. "That's all I wanted."

Darlene survived the 30 days, but was in isolation for three more months before she was permitted to see a few friends who were cold/cough-free. "For the first time in my life," she says, "sickness forced me to think of myself instead of the family and ministry." Yet guilt overwhelmed her - she was keeping Steve from India. If only I could get better, she thought.

"You don't have faith," Steve told her. He was travelling and preaching, telling of the marvelous miracles of India, yet his wife couldn't go to church with him.

"You're backslidden," he fired.

Darlene became violently angry. "I had an incurable, painful disease, and my husband couldn't give me any empathy." They began to argue over inconsequential things. "Steve, we need a mediator," she pleaded. "And counselling."

"Me?" Steve said. "A minister going for counselling? Preposterous."

Divorce is the only answer to our problems. The thought loomed in her mind. Finally, miserable and desperate, she filed for divorce.

"I'll go for counselling," Steve said, devastated. "I'll do anything."

"Too late," she told him.

He prayed and fasted. The children cried. But she held firm. "Looking back, " he says, "I can see that she'd taken all she could and was numb."

The divorce was granted. He was ashamed when minister friends found out. He still loved her and sent her flowers and cards, but she resisted his efforts. Then he stopped.

"I was relieved of the pain of a bad relationship," Darlene says. For the first time, she felt she could and would get better. But then new problems surfaced. She was empty inside. She felt like a failure. She was a single parent, trying to pay bills. She was misunderstood by friends.

A year later, Darlene saw Steve when she picked up their daughter. You need to love and respect the father of your children, the Lord seemed to whisper to her. "God got my attention and challenged my heart," she says. She mentioned this to Steve.

"Darlene, do you love me like you would a dog or a cat?" Steve asked.

"We laughed together for the first time in two years - so hard I thought we'd roll," she says. When he sent her the "Footprints" poem, she felt like he was aware that she was a Christian. "That meant the world to me," she says.

Soon, they were dating. Darlene suggested they attend an inner healing/marriage workshop. God had given their son a revelation of their reuniting, and Steve was estatic when he heard about it. "But my old self-reliant nature flared up." he says. "I didn't want to go to the workshop." However, he knew if he wanted to be with her again, he'd have to be willing to do things he didn't want to do.

She asked God for a sign that he had changed. During the first session, they were told to sit facing each other, maintain constant eye contact and take turns asking for forgiveness. Steve took her in his arms and tears drenched the shoulder of her dress. "It was like a dam had burst," she says. "God let me know, 'This is your sign.'"

For three days, in groups and privately, they talked, wept confessed faults and apologized as God did a restorative work. Shortly afterward, they were remarried on Thanksgiving Day.

"God truly rekindled our love," Steve says. "I love Darlene. I'm so thankful for her."

After 14 years of remarriage, Darlene's prayer is, "Lord, don't ever let me forget the pain of divorce."

Ten Things Your Teenager
Would Like To Say To You
(adapted from Pentecostal Evangel, April 13, 1997)

  1. Walk in my combat boots

    Every time I step out the door, it's like walking into a war zone. You tell me sin has been around since day one, but it couldn't have been anything like this. When you were my age, at least kids knew the were doing something wrong. My world preaches that it's up to us to decide what's right and what's wrong. The only thing sinful is today's politically correct world is to not do your own thing or to be intolerant of someone else's destructive lifestyle.

    Some of my friends, even those from good homes and religious backgrounds, tell me, "Drugs or drinking booze is no big deal." Or, "If you're really in love, it's OK not to wait for marriage to have sex."

    You've taught better and I'm hanging in there. Yet, if you walked in my shoes, you'd understand it's hard to be a PG teen in an R-rated world.

  2. My holdout span in limited

    Read my mind. I can't always express how thankful I am for parents who won't let me do everything I ask. It wears pretty thin when I keep making up excuses about being a no-show at after-event parties. So when you say, "Absolutely not," it takes the monkey off my back.

    It's OK to say no to me, to ground me when I mess up. It shows me you care. I might gripe (that's part of being a teen), but I'm often relieved to have an out.

  3. The world is strange, and I'm afraid

    You used to drive my monsters away, but now I have different ones. I'm scared about not becoming class treasurer or not making the debate team. I think about guns at school and drive-by shootings. My friend's parents are getting divorced, and I wonder if one day I'll have to choose between the two of you.

  4. I can't perform on demand

    Just because I'm good in footbaall or drama doesn't mean I can perform in the living room. I'm not being moody; I just need the band behind me. Putting on a helmet or stage makeup gives me security. Maybe you could invite those people who care to a football game or a school play. I'll do a good job, and you'll be proud of me.

  5. Don't be embarrassed if I don't respond the way you hope I will

    I wish you wouldn't get all apologetic when I mumble hello to Uncle Wilbur and then turn into a zombie. You don't know how hard it is to field remarks like, "Hey, Tim, you've grown a foot since I last saw you." When I say, "No way, I still only have two feet," I don't mean to be rude. I'm tired of hearing the same thing for the "bazillionth" time, and I don't know how else to respond..

  6. Please don't compare me with others

    I don't like being compared with others, especially within the family. I gag every time someone asks, "Are you a swimmer like Hannah? She was so good." So what? That's her, and I'm me, and regardless of what people might think, we are not Siamese twins.

  7. I can't like everything you think I should

    Dad, you about had a "cow" when I mentioned not trying out for baseball. But what I really want is to learn photography and practise my tennis. I want to learn how to walk my path, instead of simply following yours.

  8. Handle me with care

    Last week I heard you bragging about how I had everything together. Ha. I never felt more fragile. Everyone can see how my body's changing. Have you read the articles about teen depression and suicide I left by your chair? I'm not considering that, but I do feel very alone. I miss the notes you used to put on my pillow. I'd like to read one telling me you're here for me, if I ever do figure out what it is that's bugging me.

  9. Let me be my own age

    I'm in a no-win situation. Sometimes you treat me like a child; but when I act like a kid, you tell me to grow up and behave like an adult. You say I'm hard to live with. Well, wear my skin for a while. I wish I were 18 and out of here. Or maybe I'd like to be a little kid again. Too bad God doesn't just let me skip all those years between 8 and 18.

  10. Model Jesus for me

    Don't be shocked when I question everything you've taught me, especially about God, Christ and faith. It isn't enough to tell me Jesus makes a difference. I really need to see it, like when Paul told Timothy to be an example "in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12).

    Mom, Dad, I know it's hard being a parent. And I guess that's the 11th and most important thing I wish I could tell you. I really do know.

??? BIBLE BRAIN TEASER ???
My first time through I got the obvious ones, after a really careful search the most I could come up with was fourteen out of sixteen. Print out a copy and use it however you wish, with your family, your Sunday School class or even your Pastor. Best wishes! Here it is:
I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lulu, kept people looking so hard for facts ... and for others it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized. To others it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. Yes, there will be some really easy ones to spot. Others will require judges to help them. I will quickly admit, it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. A little lady says she brews a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now for there really are sixteen names of books of the Bible in this paragraph. If I chose another sentence or two maybe you could post them at the water cooler.
"And my tongue shall speak of your righteousness and justice, and Your praise all the day long." (Psalm 35:28)

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(This page was last updated on 9th Sept. 1999 by the Believer) 









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