September 21, 1998

Saturday September 19th I enrolled in a Shaolin Kung Fu school to learn the art of, you guessed, Kung Fu . This is the school my daughter has been going to for some time. Why Kung Fu, you ask?

My life is pretty well balanced in all areas except the physical. I read so much at work that I don't read anymore at home for recreation... the reading part of my brain has been worn out by nearly constant use during the day. The analytical part of my brain, well that's also beaten silly by the end of the day as I do software PC and Macintosh desktop support and after 8 hours of having my brain strained it does a nice flat-line impression. So I watch entirely too much television as a result and after 8 hours of work "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is really about my speed ;-)

I'm a washout in disciplining myself to exercise. I like taking long walks and I even found a nice park by the beach to do an after work walk. I even kept a T-shirt and pair of shorts in my truck to eliminate the clothing excuse. But, alas, the lazy side of my nature prevails often enough that I sometimes go walking only twice month when I really need two or three a week.

So I'm going to try Martial Arts. Shaolin Kung Fu, or as it's often called Gung Fu, is one of if not the most disciplined forms of the Martial Arts. Discipline will be annoying but good for me. Another reason is it's something that my daughter and I can do together. I'm sure that will help get me there. I'll let you know how things go...

"Clinton: the Video Testimony" came out today. I wasn't surprised. In fact I wouldn't have been surprised 4 years ago as I don't depend on the mainstream media for my perception of current events. I won't say much except to Quote Rush Limbaugh... He Said : "I told you so"

September 23, 1998

Last night I did it. I went to my first Kung Fu lesson. I was surprised... I didn't pass out, get sick to my stomach, or die. A "friend" asked me "Kung Fu, At your age? This another Mid-Life Crisis?" Maybe... However, It's a healthy one and a bit of strict discipline won't hurt me at all, even at my age. Another "friend" asked me why I couldn't have a "normal" mid-life crisis and buy a sports car or date a woman half my age. I responded "If you still think there's anything normal about me you haven't been paying attention." Thanks to my "friends" I'm beginning to get a complex about the mid-life crisis thing. Yeah... Thanks "friends".

My first advice about the Martial arts is: Start when you are young. Getting my 40+ year old body to kick shoulder level was a challenge. By the end of the lesson I was kicking chest high, to my great surprise. Of course after an intense 1 hour workout I was hardly able to stagger to my truck and today I know where EVERY muscle in my legs are.

I met the other Master at the school. I had only talked to him on the phone before. Grace, another "friend", had told me that Martin (pronounced Mar-Teen) was like a Marine Corps Drill Sergeant in the way he barked orders out and was very strict in his discipline. Well, Martin is strict but nothing like a Marine Corps Drill Sergeant. I know exactly what a Drill Sergeant is like as I'm an ex-marine. All DIs (short for Drill Instructors) have to have a mandatory brain operation to remove all kindness, and nothing is left except pure meanness. Now that's just my own pet theory but I wouldn't be surprised to see an X-Files episode on it. Martin is strict and does bark orders. He also is an excellent teacher, having great patience and is very good at demonstrating things so that they are grasp able. Maybe some would find Martin a bit mean but, hey, I'm not studying charcoal drawing and Martin fits my idea of what a good Martial Arts Instructor should be.

I'll continue to update as often as possible now that I've decided to turn this former "What's New" page into a public journal. If you are looking for steamy details, you will have to go to the Starr Report or elsewhere as I'm not a steamy sort of guy.

September 25, 1998

This will be a short entry as it's Friday at 5:30 pm and after I'm done I'm going home for the weekend. I didn't make it to Kung Fu thursday night as I had planned. Did some re-evaluation of my fitness level and this weekend I need to revise my diet, get some good exercise in, and change some bad habits like watching too much TV.

I'm not giving up on Kung Fu. My daughter is depending on me for Tuesday nights so I'll be there at least once a week. This weekend my kids are going to Yosemite National Park with their mother which they are jazzed about. My daughter was asking if possibly she could live there some day and I told her about the student summer ranger assistant program they have. It's room & board and only in the Summer but if I were young I'd do it in a flash. My daughter was heartbroken by the bad news that she has to be 18 to do it.

It will be a quiet weekend without my kids and if the boredom doesn't kill me I'll survive it. Let's see, new tires for the truck (they are embarrassingly bald), front brake pads, and new wiper blades should do it. You know you're a Geek when you have to "survive" the weekend. ;-)

October 1, 1998

It's past mid week today and the first day of October. After a cruelly hot summer that had been proceeded by the worst rainstorms in six years it's finally acting like Fall now. One pet peeve I've always had with Southern California is the weather. In summer it's predictable... Hot. But in the Fall, Winter, or Spring anything can happen. For instance, you leave for work wearing a coat and end up carrying it around all day after about 9 am. Or it doesn't rain for ages and the one day you leave your umbrella at home... Okay, Okay, It's out of my system now.

Monday when I got up I noticed a slight swelling just under my jaw on both sides. It felt very slightly tender although I felt completely fine otherwise. I was a tiny bit concerned yet my Manhood ;-) prohibited even the vaguest thought of seeing a doctor at that point. After all, I wasn't dying! Well, to continue my ramblings... Tuesday morning was different. I hadn't slept at all well and woke up with one of those dull just barely there types of headaches. When I looked in the mirror I was really startled. I was very definitely swollen under both sides of my jaw and also back on either jaw joint by my ears (I'm a computer tech... NOT a doctor). I looked like some sort of alien, mutant man amphibian I was swollen so badly. Mumps? At my age? I went to work and after doing my e-mail, returning phone messages and all the drudge stuff of office work I visited Sumi, the on-site company nurse.

So I bit the bullet and saw my doctor that same morning. Actually, to be perfectly honest Sumi, the company nurse made me leave and not come back until I had seen a doctor and was okayed to return to work. Wasn't Mumps. And wasn't dangerous so I went back to work yesterday and except for a constant ecccch taste in my mouth and the swelling around my jaw felt perfectly fine. Doc did forbid me from going to Kung Fu Tuesday night and I didn't, which surprised me as I'm not normally so compliant. By this afternoon the swelling has gone mostly down and I'm feeling well. Even the eccch taste is fading.

I'm looking forward to a fun weekend with my kids. Last weekend they were at Yosemite so I had to do things like new tires on truck, etc. This weekend I get to play. I've found that a man acting silly and immature by himself ends up getting the stares with head wagging routine, whereas a man acting in an identical or even worse way with his kids gets smiles of approval. I love to play with my kids!

October 7, 1998

Things are slow at work, the pre layoff sort of slow. It's a busy time in my life, though. I just got published twice, once in my company's newsletter and once in the computer club newsletter, which is quite a thrill every time it happens. Plus I found the local newspapers had printed one of my letters to the editor. I'm not a fan of Clinton and I tend to write very opinionated letters to Congresspersons and Newspapers.

Kung Fu is going well. I'm doing things now I couldn't three weeks ago. I really enjoy my Tuesday evenings at Kung Fu being tortured by the Master. Charis is progressing so rapidly she may be a black belt before she's 18.

Got another picture of the kids to put up here. It's one of Charis feeding her pet T-Rex with her brother. I'll put it up as soon as I can get it scanned.

October 20, 1998

It's been almost two weeks since the last update. Been busy, and that keeps me out of trouble. November 6th, 7th, and 8th is the Men's Retreat for my church. It'll be up at Arrowhead Springs, which the term "God's Country" describes well. I'm really looking forward to it. I suspect it will be a good one as all kinds of minor, annoying things have been happening lately and when one is a Christian such things do seem to happen to spoil a good thing. Awareness and prayer works.

It is said that the Mothers nurture the children and Fathers play with their children. I take being a Father very seriously with always the fear that I did this or that wrong. However, I also have loads of fun. This weekend we did everything from watching a Blacksmithing (that's right... 1800's style) Class to visiting the "Teahouse on the Internet" to do some cyber-surfing. It was interesting that there were more women students in the Blacksmithing class than men. My Daughter, when asked about if she'd like to learn Blacksmithing said "Maybe some day" My son thought this Web site was "cool", especially when I downloaded (which he insisted on calling "Stealing") some pictures of Godzilla, Titanic, and a Red Classic Mustang and added them to this site before their eyes. Just don't tell them I'm a geek... they don't know yet ;-)

Kung Fu is getting easier. Well, either easier or I'm numb or not getting as sore now. I'm still at the very basic of exercises yet but the benefits of fitness and honing my balance make it worth every torturous moment.

October 29, 1998

Plans have solidified for the Men's Retreat. I'm going to take off work early on Friday the 6th (my boss said OKAY) and meet 8 or so friends at church to go up in a Motor home. If we leave at 1pm we will be up there about 2:30 and plan to hang out at a coffee shop until the other 30+ men arrive. The weather, if it stays like it is now, will be perfect.

Had a nice experience earlier this week. I always park on the 3rd level of the parking structure as I have a semi desk job and I need every bit of exercise I can get. I started walking down the stairs without holding on the rail or even thinking about it, like a person with "normal" balance would. I hadn't been able to do anything like that since 1978 or so. It's great to have a normal sense of balance even if I really can't claim normalcy in any other area.

This Halloween Charis and Isaac will Trick or Treat with their Mother in their new neighborhood. I plan to stay home and pass out goodies to the little urchins that brave the long walk up my driveway. I'm going to make a spido-lantern, in other words a jack-o-lantern hung from the porch roof having eight scary legs attached. To top it off some dry ice in water for horror movie fog effect and me answering the door in full Klingon makeup and costume. It's easy to get into the Klingon part. All I've got to do is be in an eternal bad mood, have zero manners, and growl a lot. My kids say I'm a natural. My kids won't be with me but I'll have fun anyway.

November 11, 1998

Had a great time at the Men's retreat. There were well over 200 men at the retreat, 32 from my church alone. Thursday the 5th I decided not to go to work Friday morning and work until noon as I had planned. So I got up "Whenever" and walked across the street to get aboard the motor home at 1pm My church is a 5 minute stroll from my house.

We arrived at the Arrowhead Springs conference center shortly after 3pm. Good time considering we even stopped for a snack in San Bernardino. By 4:30 I'd already done the very steep 5 minute climb up to the main hotel for sightseeing with some friends. Arrowhead Springs is a really beautiful place. Some brief highlights: Friday and Saturday nights there were meetings with good speakers and music by a little known but very talented vocal group called "Poor Baker's Dozen" I wouldn't be surprised to hear more from "Poor Baker's Dozen" in the future. Those 6 guys (get it? "Poor Baker's Dozen"?) are kinda like a barbershop quartet + 2 but sing modern music. One song they did use instruments. They beat the drums, or more precisely one plastic and one metal trash can.

Saturday I swam in the pool, a large one built in the '40s that is naturally heated by the water from the hot springs. I stayed in until hunger finally drove me out. The water was nice and warm but in winter even California gets cold and the pool is outdoors. Sunday I had the pure joy of singing in the choir for Sunday Morning Service.

So I had some good spiritual soul therapy, met new friends and deepened others, and brought back a cold. Remember the Saturday swim? I had to walk down the hill in wet trunks after I'd finally gotten out of the pool. It was all worth it.

The elections were a big disappointment. Well, here in California with the new liberal governor we can expect higher taxes and more big brother in our lives. Too bad the conservatives didn't turn out to vote.

Yesterday I didn't feel well enough to go to Kung Fu. Instead of calling my daughter Charis to cancel I dropped by for a hug. Charis talked me into taking her out to dinner (didn't take all that much talking) and so we waited for Isaac to get home and we went to Carl's for burgers. I missed my kids even though I'd seen them only a week and two days before.

November 17, 1998

Weekend is over. Knott's Berry Farm, a Southern California amusement park had a "Veterans Day", or more precisely a Veterans free admission week(s) from Nov 3rd to Nov 17th. Last year I'd taken my kids by myself and ended up not going on the best rides as my son is a bit intimidated by the scariest rides (he's only seven) This time I asked a friend, Dimitri, along as my guest and the four of us got in free. Dimitri brought one of his friends, Sydney and her three children in. All 8 of us had a great time. We got there at about 2pm and didn't leave until almost midnight. Took plenty of pictures with my new camera.

I got to go on all the best rides. My Daughter Charis, Sydney's two children Candace and Arthur and yours truly went off to find the ultimate ride.

I believe I've found the ultimate (for now) ride. It's called the "Supreme Scream" and it's about a football field high. The ride lifts you to the top sitting hanging out over space and then blasts you towards the ground. I'm not exaggerating the "Blasts" bit, The ride slams you at the ground with at least a G of acceleration. It's far faster than you could fall the same distance. I and my pack of little friends rode many other rides.

Friday night, before we went to Knott's I bought a Camera. It's one of those point and shoot 35 mm pocket cameras that my kids will be able to use also. Seems the feature wars in the 35 mm market has made even a less than $100 camera full of every feature I could want. It's got all the right stuff like 32-70mm Zoom, 6 mode flash, auto focus, auto film advance, and even came with a rugged shoulder strap/belt loop carrying case that survived the "Supreme Scream" and all else Knott's had to throw at it.

Sunday we went to the Kellogg house (no relation to the cereal Kellogg's), which is a museum now. It was built in the late 1800's after the California gold rush and people started settling in what is now Santa Ana. Mr. Kellogg was an Architect and Amateur scientist who designed and built his dream house and raised his family there. The house has a very beautiful spiral staircase in the center that is designed around a ship's mast and has all the 1880's style features such as gables, a porch with columns, and a Widow's Walk on the roof. Took some pictures of Charis and Isaac dressed up in 1880's style clothes and doing 1880ish things.

Found out a secret to feeling young... run with a pack of kid's a quarter of your age and go ahead... do an insane thing or two, like the "Supreme Scream". I believe most of "old age" is psychological. Regardless of all that I REFUSE to grow up! I'm having too good a time.

November 25, 1998

Found that additions to the Web Site with the new Office '97 I just was upgraded to, well let's put it this way... I might soon be in danger of running out of space on this web site and have to upgrade that too.

I've added this week a Fun Places! and a PHOTO ALBUM from Monday to Today (3 days). It may not be quite as high quality as by hand but I'm able to do weeks of work in two days

The ShaoLin Kungfu has really changed everything about my health and balance. I don't have any ethical issues as the ShaoLin way is far surpassed by what Christianity demands of me. It's interesting how what ShaoLin teaches: character, non-violence, and discipline is right along with the stuff I ought to be doing anyway. Strange that overall mankind sees value in the same things and calls wrong the same things...

I'm not sure what I'll be doing for Thanksgiving as I don't have any plans yet. It won't be hard to find plenty to be thankful for

Have a Happy Thanksgiving

December 11, 1998

I've been busy. Last Journal Entry was "Have a Happy Thanksgiving" and now it's only 14 days until Christmas! It's been busy at work and we just received a rumor that part of the plant may stay open indefinitely. And after I finished the dreaded Christmas shopping I can start really enjoying the Season

Got the Christmas Tree up. The kids and I found one of those Christmas tree farms and hunted down and bagged our tree. Named it Pokey the Tree as it didn't move very fast to try escaping. Perhaps it was too fat. ;-) Then the day after the Christmas tree went up, last Sunday in the wee hours of the morning a "micro burst" took the shade tree with the almost 2 foot trunk down. Broke it in half about 12 feet up the trunk and the tossed the top half into the driveway almost on top of the cars. The same "Micro burst" took the next door neighbor's carport and collapsed it onto his cars. The news people called it a "Micro burst", which to a X-Files fan like me says they have no clue what happened. They said a "Micro burst" is similar to a tornado without the funnel. A tornado IS a funnel so... What are they saying? So about 4:30 in the morning me and my room mates were standing outside looking at the mess and trying to blame it on someone so it would get cleaned up ;-)

I joined a Single Parent's Club on Yahoo. Then in what may have been a momentary bit of insanity I joined a Single Parent's Dating Club on Yahoo. I don't know if I'll date but I met a great bunch of people I can relate to, get crazy with, and work out personal issues.

I'm taking a month off of Kungfu. I'm not really sure where I want to go with it and I need to get into better shape and loose some weight. Besides, the monthly fees could be put to better use this season. Now all I have to do is get the exercise and stay away from the Christmas Cookies. Sure thing!

Next week is my company's Christmas Party. Not the company I work for but the company that pays me. Never mind... It confuses me sometimes! It's going to be at one of those Dinner Mystery Theaters when during the 3 course dinner there is a murder and then all the fun of sleuthing it out. (The play's the thing) It's going to be fun... I just know it

One last bit of news. The "Ghostrider", the over a mile long wooden roller coaster has just opened at Knott's Berry Farm. Me and my fellow extreme ride lovers just gotta do it soon.

A word of explanation. The picture of that Creature in the Christmas Card with my two kids... that 's what happens when I put on my makeup before my morning cup of coffee

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

January 11, 1999

It's been a whole month since I've updated this Journal. The Holidays were so much fun I didn't have time to. Did some major work on my truck and now it's running great. The kids had a great time and the weather was Sunny and Warm the whole time. So far I've only had to void one check because of the wrong date.

This year I took PAID vacation for the whole week from Christmas to New Year's. Was nice to get up "whenever" but sure was rough the first week back at work. 5:30 in the morning felt more like 2am when that nasty sounding alarm clock went off.

Last year (two weeks ago) was the first year I got the dreaded Christmas shopping done two weeks before Christmas. One Saturday when stopping by Wal-Mart to pick up the developed film we even paused in the doorway and snickered at all the shoppers scurrying about with their lists.

One of the presents Santa brought was a Youth Compound Bow. My son is in Cub Scouts now and the deal I got on it was just too nice. When my son saw it he said "Just like Rambo's Bow". So much for how Hollywood Doesn't influence kid's. After strictly explaining to the Kids that the Bow was NOT a toy and strictly charging them never to shoot it anywhere Except on a range I proceeded to loose one of the arrows in the backyard after they had gone with my ex to their Grandmother's house. So I sheepishly had to explain to the kids what happened and how daddy had been "Stupid in a no-stupid zone" My son found the arrow a week later... it was about 6 feet from where I'd aimed, buried 23 inches in the grass with only an inch showing. Well, they believe me now when I say it's a powerful Bow... but my Daughter chided me about not doing what I say.

My kids wanted me to take a picture of myself as a Klingon. I do the latex and stage makeup for Star Trek alien species as sort of a hobby. So I did the makeup one morning and posed for a picture with my kids. For fun I put that picture up in my Yahoo profile and now I'm getting invitations to join every Trekker club on Yahoo... Arrrgh!

I kind of miss the Martial Arts. Kung Fu is overly athletic for me (44+) and I'll be looking into a less demanding form that I can excel in. Something my size and weight is a plus in. My brother Mike has a Black Belt in a different form and I think I'll have a chat with him.

As for the Murder Mystery Dinner... the Italian Ex-Con did it with a selective poison, one that would work on one particular person and was harmless to everyone else. Was really fun!

February 22, 1999

I'm now studying HapKido . It's a Korean form of the Martial Arts from the 14th century that was handed down from generation to generation in the Korean Royal Family. It means The Way (DO) of Power (KI) and Coordination (HAP) . I've been studying for a month now under Timothy Nguyen. Hapkido is a comprehensive martial art, emphasizing kicking and punching as well as joint locks, throws, chokes, take-downs, and the use of pressure points. It's strenuous but that's what I need. A fellow student informed me that I'd likely be sore all over until I attained Yellow Belt. I'm sure she meant well

Well, that deal that was just "too nice" on the Youth Compound Bow just ended up costing me $375. I'd taken the Youth Compound Bow down to the archery range to adjust the sights and at least get them into the ballpark and found out that archery was really fun. So I got to thinking I'd like a full sized bow of my own to play with. Pondering it I decided wanted a high powered hunting bow so started looking around. Then a friend showed me a $480 Compound bow in a discount catalog for $179. So after buying the bow and all the little things that go with it (sights, a quiver, arrows, arm guard and shooting glove) I'm now $375 poorer but hey, men and their toys... I've put it together and adjusted it, all I need to do now is learn how to shoot it!

It's the year of the cat. Saturday the kids and I went to Little Saigon (about 2 miles away) and joined in the Tet Festival (Chinese New Year). It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. Got almost trampled by a Dragon (all in fun of course)

I'm back to singing again. Since I started going to Nutwood Street Baptist I've wanted to join the worship team, yet I just somehow felt it wasn't time. Then last Sunday the Pastor remarked (again) how there wasn't much representation by men in the worship team. So I spoke with Mike (a friend and the drummer) and asked him when the practice was. Right after the service Tim, the Guitarist stopped me and told me he was looking forward to having me in the group and this AM I got an e-mail from Gayle, the Pianist welcoming me also. Being in the Worship Team is considered a "Ministry" but I love singing so much that to me its's a whole lot of fun.

I was thinking yesterday about all the changes that have happened to me, especially in the last year. My family of origin didn't give me a whole lot of tools with which to deal with life. Lately I've been very stable, starting and finishing projects and feeling peaceful when obstacles come my way (like they always do). I feel very free of emotional hurts that had plagued me in the past. Y'Think I might finally, at 44, be growing up?

April 1, 1999 (April Fool's Day)

It's been more than a month again. Guess that will be the average for my journal updates. I've been busy, which is good. Keeps me out of trouble and makes time go by quickly. In the past month there has been 3 birthdays, a camping and volcano exploring trip, the completion of my compound hunting bow, and of course Hapkido and singing. I've joined a number of hunting and archery clubs on the Internet and am really looking forward to this weekend... it's Easter Sunday, of course but also it's the "spring forward" day (end of daylight savings)... I'll get back to that.

Our Birthdays all fall within 2 1/2 weeks (Feb 28th-March 17th). Three birthday cakes make it a rough time to diet. Then there's that 2 1/2 week period where both kids are either odd or even which causes strife with who gets to sit next to Daddy, ect. This year for my birthday presents to my kids I took them each on $50 shopping trips. Isaac wanted toys. Cars, walkie talkies, airplanes, kites, and a few odds and ends made up his shopping spree. My daughter, being a bit older, bought some shoes, some beauty supplies and a cassette tape or two.

The 2nd weekend of March we went on a camping trip. It was to a real live Ghost Town named Calico. It was a weekend camp out with my son's cub scout camp and since their mother had a all weekend class that weekend I took him. My daughter came along as it's allowed. We all had a great time.

Saturday of the camping trip we all caravanned our cars (trucks, vans, ect) to Pisgah volcano, which was about 30 miles East along I40. We learned from the troop leader, a fully qualified geologist/vulcanologist, all about the various types of lava. The first serious scientific studies of volcanos were done in Hawaii. So it follows that the names for all the varied types of lava are Hawaiian. An example is Aih! Aih! , which is the sound a typical Hawaiian would make while walking barefoot across a field of this rough type of lava. I'm NOT kidding! Aih! Aih! is the official scientific name!

My Daughter and I also did some serious volcanic spelunking (underground exploration), which was quite an adventure. Lava is either blown out of the top of a volcano or flows out at the base of the cone. When it flows out of the base it commonly creates lava tubes where the outside lava cools and hardens while the inner lava drains out, leaving long mostly straight tubes that you can crawl down into and explore. My daughter and I went all the way to the end of such a tube (about 300 yards of very rough crawling), took pictures and signed the guest book. The guest book was standard school notebook paper with about a year's visitors per page. Not exactly a frequent tourist spot.

Calico Ghost town was fun. There were old mines to explore, gunfights to avoid, and even an awesome gent who played a really mean ragtime piano. (I consider anyone good who knows the Basin Street Blues) He even knew the Lyrics! My daughter did some gold panning and my son and I enjoyed the many gunfights and brawls (one per hour). I'd recommend Calico Ghost Town to anyone who happens to be in the Barstow, California (desert) area. It's lots of fun and it's so far out of the way it's not crowded like Disneyland. I'll put a Fun Places page up here some time soon.

My singing in the worship team is something I really look forward to. There is now about 7 regular singers. Being so exposed vocally like that took a little getting used to but I'm there and I really look forward to Sundays.

Hapkido is a bit rough now. I've had this lingering chest cold that really takes the wind out of my sails on a workout and has been really slowing me down. After I work out I reap all kinds of benefits, though.

It had been a really long time since I last camped out. The first night we were there it got down to 37 degrees. During the night I half woke up feeling cold and it seemed for the longest time I was "trying to reboot the environmental computer" which had "locked up and disabled the heater". Finally I woke up fully realizing I was in a sleeping bag in a tent and there wasn't any heaters, environmental control computers, nor even electricity! So I found a low tech solution to my dilemma, putting my coat on and crawling back into my sleeping bag

This weekend we loose an hour of sleep as daylight savings time "Springs forward". Next week I'll have almost two whole hours every day after work I can stop by the Archery range on the way home. I'm really jazzed about that.

It's been a fun day with all the "April Fool" practical jokes going around. I really won't go into it here but... well you just had to be there.

So until next time

April 12, 1999

Almost tax day. A Quote by G K Chesterton: Nowadays a citizen can hardly distinguish between a tax and a fine, except that a fine is generally much lighter. This year I'm only short $600 and it won't torpedo my whole summer like it did last year. Not that taxes are less this year... I just had more taken out. Enough of that vile subject.

I'm really looking forward to getting off work today. Not that work is totally abhorrent, but there are things that I would much rather do. Last week I made it to the range twice after work and all morning Saturday with my kids. My bow is complete now. All the adjustments to fit it to me have been done and the only down side is my shoulder is sore. The bow is consistently accurate and very powerful. My goal is to be able to hit a 3" circle consistently from all hunting distances by fall.

Easter Sunday was a great service. We had a breakfast at the church before the service and the Pastor's message was on second chances. Two people gave their testimonies on how God had given them a second chance at life. I can relate... this is a great second chance that I'm living now.

With Daylight Saving time ending it's officially spring. All last week it rained off and on. Saturday was absolutely perfect. Then Sunday comes along and it rains all day. Well, maybe California weather isn't all that bad. Seems that we had sunshine when it was really needed.

Sunday A police officer knocked on my front door. He just stopped by to let me know I'd left my headlights on. Does Garden Grove, California have a great police force or what?

Looks like the weather is finally going to warm up for good. Now that I've got all the stuff for camping we will be going as often as can be.

Gee, ran out of things to say. Either that or I'm just not remembrin' too good. Must be that Monday virus that's going around. Yep, must be the Monday Beginning of Spring Bug.

April 20, 1999

With tight budgeting I've managed to pay the $250+ I owed on state taxes. I filed an Automatic Extension with the Feds to take the financial pressure off. There are 4 months to save up the about $300 I owe there.

Archery has been a learning experience. I've been going to the range three times a week and have even upped my bow's draw weight 4 pounds (to 60#). Found that it's just about impossible to shoot a high performance dual cam bow without a mechanical release. Also found the Camouflage arrows are very hard to find in the grass. Next order will be bright Orange! I'm getting tight groups now and learning to adjust my bow correctly, which with a dual cam compound is tricky.

Put some photo new albums on the web site. I have figured out a better way to use Microsoft Power Point '97 to create photo albums. I'll add more albums as I get the time. My daughter, 11, loves Power Point. She also wants to do some web page work so I'll spend some time with her to get her started. Maybe I'll even put Office '97 on her Mom's laptop so she can get creative on the Internet.

The weather is great. I usually eat lunch in my truck on the top floor of the parking garage. The view of the beach from there is awesome. After work I'll be stopping at the archery range until it gets too dark to see. Then I'll go home.

April 30, 1999

On the 20th I said "The weather is great". Stopped being great the next day. Funny how spring in Southern California is far colder than winter was. I just put another photo album up here with a picture taken in Early December with the kids wading barefoot in a stream.

The "Taxing Season" is almost over. Next week the cash flow thing gets back off the ground and "God willin' an the river doan rise" (Quote by the Duke, John Wayne) we will have warm weather AND the funds to enjoy it. What a concept! Just had a laugh. I typed "casK-flow" instead of "casH-flow"! "K" is sort of next to "H" Hope that wasn't a Freudian slip.

I just figured out that I'm too busy for dating. So I "unjoined" the two dating clubs on Yahoo I'd joined a while back. Wasn't participating anyway. So I joined several hunting clubs and a church musician's club.

In July my son's cub scout troop is camping in the Sierras. I'm looking forward to it. I've also got two days vacation now and when it warms up me and the kids are heading for the beach for a long weekend.

My archery is going very well. My shooting is getting consistent now. I've been cranking up the bow's draw weight 4 pounds a week. It's been getting very difficult to pull the arrows out of the target, which is what I want. Need more arrows as out of the first dozen are now only four left.

The high points of my week are Wednesday night and Sunday Morning. I love singing in the worship team/band. My daughter likes to join us during practice and sing with her "daddy". We'll have to do a duet sometime

May 5, 1999

This will be a short update. Several good things have happened since last week.

I've got a new computer on my desk. I had to fix it first (that's what I do for a living) but it's got twice the speed and twice the memory. A virus scan that used to take 30 minutes on my old PC now takes about 8. The extra power is nice with Graphics and I can open many things at once. With my old PC often I'd have to close programs to open others.

In the last week things fell into place in a big way with my bow. I've been very consistently hitting the target from all ranges from 10 yards to 30 all week. It's months before hunting season starts so I think I'll be ready. My brother has a hunting bow and hopefully we can get together on the range soon.

It's Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican Independence Day. The defense contractor I work for put on a feast (free food) with a Mariacachi band on the patio. The weather is almost perfect today and the shindig is out on the patio in the sun. The food is great (there goes the diet) and the Chili Rellano was to die for. Perhaps I'll go for thirds ;-)

May 21, 1999

It's been a little over two weeks since "Cinco de Mayo" or the "5th of May" or Mexican Independence day. My new computer is working well. I also have a new Macintosh. My previous MAC died a very sudden death so my boss told me to pick a MAC that was going to surplus and upgrade it with whatever I wanted from other surplus MAC's (scavenge). So I went crazy and now have a very "built" MAC. Next thing is to take over the world! Just Kidding!

Weather has been warmer. Not beach warm but great hiking weather. Last weekend the kids and I went to Santiago Oaks park and hiked about 10 miles, skipped rocks on the water at the old dam, avoided Poison Oak and Rattle Snakes, and generally had a very nice day. Santiago Oaks park is only 15 miles from my home. I'll put up photos soon.

Santiago Oaks Park has a trail that goes to Irvine Park, the other big regional park in the area. Soon the kids and I are going to arrange to be dropped off at one so we can hike to the other.

Charis was in a play at her Elementary school called "Krazy Camp". She sang very beautifully a cute song about how boys were always playing pranks and how utterly hateful they were.

It's almost time to pick up my kids so... gotta go.

June 18, 1999

I originally started this update on June 11th ( LAST Friday ) but I was so overwhelmed by a huge flood of problems with the new e-mail system (Lotus Notes) that I never got it finished until now. So I changed the date and here it is.

It's final. The place I work will be closing it's doors in 8 months. I may be here for anywhere from 2 months to 6. I work for a really good (best I've ever heard of) contract agency and I'm not worried about unemployment. It will be sad to leave the friends I've made over the last couple of years and I do love to watch the surf while eating lunch. Lately my marketable skills have increased considerably and I doubt if I will get much time off between assignments.

My EX and I will likely end up in court. I won't go into it as this is a public forum and my Daughter reads this but withholding visitation is not tolerable.

I joined a Christian Single Parents club earlier this week and when typing in the address for this Web site as an introduction to who (or what) I am I made a typo and typed 8278 instead of 8279. Weird typo as a fellow member in the club found it was His church's web page... in Florida! This virtual stuff is somewhat unnerving at times.

I'll try to update more frequently as times are treacherous. Pray for me. I need to take the EX to court over withholding visitation and I miss my kids, who are the most important to me.

June 29, 1999

It's slow here at work. The network just went down in a major way. I can't even get the Macintosh in my office to talk to my NT workstation.... That just changed. Now I can get across my office and even to the big computers in the next room. Oh well, I was hoping to go home early.

The visitation issue is "sort of" resolved with my EX. I don't think I'll write anymore about that issue. I probably shouldn't have put it up here in the first place.

It's summer... officially. Tomorrow I'll be playing Volleyball at the beach. Some of the ladies from church challenged our men's group to a match. So we are doing the beach cookout/volleyball thing. The winner gets to play the youth.

The 14th through the 19th of July is the Cub Scout camping and fishing trip in the mountains. We have our new poles, our camping equipment, and we can hardly wait.

My bow's string broke two weeks ago. I had just drawn back the bow to shoot when I noticed the arrow had slipped off of the string. Before I could let off pressure on the string it fired. It's called "dry firing" and can be dangerous. A hi-tech bow like that can actually shatter, imbedding shrapnel in the shooter (me). So I was very lucky all that happened was the string broke. Luckily there's a good archery shop right down the street that does repairs. They not only replaced the string for a reasonable price but even "tuned" the bow, which is all the adjustments you have to make to get the bow to hit the target. With a modern hi-tech bow it's a bit of an art.

Last weekend my kids and I did many things. We went to a nature preserve and hiked, picked and ate wild blackberries, rented a boat and took pictures of birds that live on the bird sanctuary in the middle of the lake, and of course ate, horsed around and the norm. Summer's fun.

July 13, 1999

Tomorrow I start my vacation and won't be back until next Monday. The kids and I are going to Huntington Lake, which is in the mountains at 7000 feet. There's hiking, trout fishing (really good!), swimming, canoeing, and of course camping. We're going to have a blast.

July 26th, 1999

Vacation was awesome. When Sunday afternoon came and it was packup and leave time, well we just didn't wanna leave. Weather was perfect, campsite was really beautiful, lake was great, fishing wasn't good but all-in-all we had a great time

It was a long drive. We left at 5 in the morning Friday and drove 2 hours to the top of what is called by Californians the "Grapevine", which is the freeway pass over the mountains to the north on Los Angeles. We stopped and ate breakfast at the top.

After about 5 more hours of driving we arrived at Huntington Lake at 7,000 feet in the Sierra mountains. Next morning we rented a fishing skiff and motored around the lake for 5 hours. We didn't catch any fish but we had fun with the boat and even ate lunch on an island in the lake.

Camping was so fun we are going again this weekend. Not to Huntington Lake (I Wish) but someplace much closer for an overnighter.

Last weekend at Huntington lake I got my legs sun burnt while boating. This weekend we went to the beach and my feet now match the rest of my legs.

This weekend we will have 'Smores for desert after dinner again. Interesting how kids never tire of 'Smores. I've got my entire camping kit (complete kitchen + tent stuff) all packed permanently in two 36 cubic foot stack able containers with large handles. Takes me 5 minutes to load the truck for camping.

Summer is my favorite time of the year

August 6th, 1999

Our third camping trip worked out perfectly. It took me 10 minutes to load up to leave before work on Friday and at noon I left work to pick up the kids and by 1pm we were parking in the campsite.

O'Neal Campground is not the nicest campground in the area but it has the plus of being non reservation first come, first served. We got one of the last few campsites left but, hey, we were in.

So we did 'Smores, took a night hike (scary but exciting), did some BB pistol shooting, ate, took showers to cool off often, and generally really enjoyed the 24 hours we were there.

I got curious about what Netscape Composer did. It's part of Netscape 4 and I found out it's a really cool HTML editor. In fact I'm using it right now to update this.

I've been thinking. I don't recall ever having so much fun in a summer before.

Just found out that 1) Netscape Composer has a spell checker and 2) my spelling in the Journal has been really pathetic.

Sorry! (for the spelling)

September 14th, 1999

Finally I've moved into a decent place. I'd been having trouble for sometime with my landlady and roomates. Won't go into it except to say there was a lot of illegal activities that I didn't go along with nor participate in, which made them uncomfortable.

I've got a room in a real nice mobile home in a family mobilehome park. Two pools, 9 cats, a dog and Central Air conditioning make the place far nicer than what I had. The kids will love it. I plan to not mention it this friday when I pick them up. I'll just drive there and surprise them.

I have to buy furniture. My previous room was furnished so I'll need bedroom stuff. Since I'm a bachelor I'll just do it in the modern batchelor style; Posters, mismatched garage-sale furniture, cinder blocks with planks, and of course baseball caps hangin' on the wall. Y'Know, a look that hides Pizza stains ;-)

Job's going okay. It's real slow as there aren't many people left to have computers breakdown. I probably will be here untill next year as I'm the only PC tech left here. Charis and Isaac are both back in school. My "little" girl isn't so little anymore... she just started Junior High (they call it "Middle" school now)

Life is going well for me. I'm busier than ever with Worship band, my kids and all the other oddball things I do and that happen to me each week.

So Bye for now and God bless

October 1st, 1999

I'm competely settled now. I found and bought all the furniture I needed, a bed, a desk, and a dresser. The bed is a really neet single bed over a full size bunk bed that really fits our needs. None of that "sleeping in a cave effect" when on the bottom bunk.

We are doing more exciting music in the worship band. We lately started having longer practices and ocassionally even a Saturday practice and the results have been happening. This Sunday we will be singing several verses of "Amazing Grace" acapella (or Acapulco as some of us put it)

I'm hoping it will get hot next weekend so we can go camping at Doheny Beach.

It's working out living with Skip and Kelly. They love my kids (they have none of there own... Yet) and the kids love them. The cats are even getting used to us.

I won't actually get to go Bowhunting as I'd hoped this year. For sure next year. Too many things happening now that I just won't be ready for the Season start this month. I'm getting quite good now at the shooting end of it. I hit the 3" bullseye most of the time now at 30 yards WHEN I concentrate. Of course when I loose my concentration... the arrow may go anywhere.

October 25th, 1999

Got the news last Monday (the 18th). I'm being "Downsized" this Friday.

Can't complain about the job, though. This "3 month" assignment lasted 3 years and I am now experienced with just about everything having to do with personal computers.

I've got about 2 months pay saved up and I'm not too worried. This has been coming for quite a long while so I'm ready for it.

I'll miss the people. I made a lot of friends here and over the last few months I've said goodbye to many. The way I see it, loosing my office, computers, and job is a small thing. Saying goodbye to all the friends is another story.

I actually feel okay this time. Being downsized has in the past been a real disaster. The difference is that, knowing myself, I've been praying about the inevitable for 6 months now. God does answer prayers. Hope I'm off work at least long enough to sleep in a day or two!

Oh, Yeah... Geocities just added another 4 megs space to my website... Free! Guess I'll have to add some more stuff! Perhaps I'll give my daughter and son a bit of the space. Would be fun.

October 29th, 1999

Today's the day. Yesterday was my farewell luncheon. Tradition is that the person leaving gets to choose the restaurant. So we had lunch at Sabatino's in Newport Beach. Sabatino's is one of those hole in the wall places that has just plain awsome food. Did I say hole in the wall? Sabatinos is located in a business building between the small and large shipyards on Lido Peninsula. The only reason I knew about it was I had worked in the next building for 3 months. Sabatinos makes their own Italian Sausage, Breads and Marinara Sauce that's, well one person at the luncheon who is a Gourmet food Connoisseur told me I had seriously underated the place... and I'd felt like I was raving.

Today my daily access to the Internet ends. I'll try to update things as often as possible and hopefully be able to fill the extra 4 megs of my webpage. I just checked and it's been over a year since I've been doing this Journal. Time sure does fly!

I'm looking forward to the week after next. It's the annual Veteran's Day free admission all week long at Knott's Berry Farm, our favorite amusment park (better than Disneyland, IMHO). So me an' the kids are going at least once if not several days during the week.

November 17th, 1999

Today I started a new job. I was contacted Monday by the contract agency I was working for with a phone interview for PairGain. Yesterday I signed the contract paperwork and today I started. I'll be working from 4pm 'till Midnight for a few days untill the Y2K project is over and then I'll be doing the normal day shift. It certainly is nice to have a skill that's in demand

Last week the kids and I spent most of the week hanging out at Knott's Berry farm. All week Veterans and families got free admission so basically whenever the kids weren't in School we spent riding extreme rides.

The GhostRider rollercoaster, which hadn't been completed last November was now open. Over a mile long and with several wieghtless drops I agree, it's got to be the best roller coaster around.

So things are going well. Actually, it's good to be back at work as I had so much to do when unemployed that I don't mind at all just working 8 hours a day!

January 26th, 2000

The clocks rolled over at midnight without a hitch. So I can feast on canned food for the next 6 months. ;-) Actually, I didn't feel there would be much of a hitch and I even said so in an artical I wrote on Y2K. The artical is here on the site.

My present contract job will end Friday of this week (The 28th) Myself and another tech are being let go and tomorrow we are being taken out for Chinese at lunch.

Christmas and New Year's were fun. My church had a "Milleniun Celebration" Me and my kids ate a great potluck meal, my daughter swing-danced untill she dropped, we sang and prayed untill Midnight and then set the Church's parking lot ablaze (with legal fireworks!)

"Santa" bought me a CD player and a VCR. I found plenty of neet stuff to buy for my kids.

Now it's doing the job search thing again. Last time I was only out of work 11 working days and God taught me to trust him. I hope I can find a permanent job somewhere but I'll be happy with what I can get.

January 28th, 2000

Today's my last day at PairGain. This will likely be the last update for a while.

February 28th, 2000

First day at the new job. Just started at GR8RIDE.COM ( Great Ride ) as a Macintosh technician. Just love the license plate style name! GR8RIDE is a part of McMullen Argus publishing. I have been transferring back magazine issues from backup disks (Jazz) to a Macintosh and then reducing the photo resolution by 2/3rds with Adobe Photoshop, a nifty new program to use. G4 Macintoshes are sweet to work with.

Saw the Superbowl. On a 7ft by 12ft screen, thunderously loud through a professional sound system, on one of a half dozen couches in the fellowship hall of my church. We all brought football game munchies and all had a great time. And the game couldn't get any better literally down to the last yard at the last second. Pastor said we'll do it again next year!

Last Friday I stopped by the Salvation Army store across the street to look for 50's style clothes for a dance with my daughter. Found instead a Compaq Pentium 75 Computer for $149. A complete system including monitor! After spending another $82 on a 52X CD drive, a sound card and speakers I now have a nice home computer that I'm writing this on.

I'll finish telling about the last two weeks in a day or two. Some very amazing things happened with God answering prayers in very generous ways (I'm so undeserving)

March 21st, 2000

The Original contract with GR8RIDE.com is ending this Friday the 24th. However, I'll be working starting Monday at the Anaheim offices of GR8RIDE as a workflow manager of some sort. I say some sort as they don't really know what needs to be done, it's such a new company and such. I'll be pretty much creating my job and that's both exciting and very scary. Yet somehow I trust that if I am here then I'll be ready. So Monday is going to be all brand new.

Charis and Isaac both got bikes for their Birthdays and so I thought I'd check out the 10 speeds at WalMart. They didn't have ANY ten-speeds. At least I didn't notice any. So I started looking at the Mountain Bikes. And I bought one. 21 speeds, front and rear spring suspension, Bright Yellow color, and lots of nice engineering. All for $149! I had to do some major ajustments and spend some time riding but now I'm ready to ride the Santa Ana river trail to the beach (an easy 12 miles). The kids and I are planning to ride to the Beach next Saturday.

March 26th, 2000

My Daughter, Charis, needed to sing in a concert on Saturday, so we didn't bike to the beach I'd planned. So my son and I rode all over two large parks in the area for about 5 hours. I'm sore but I really enjoyed it. Next weekend my Daughter won't be tied up so we will be spending Saturday up in Irvine park, a large park with a Zoo, many trails, a river bed (no water this time of year) and picknic areas.

Today I had a day off from the Worship Team. A group from Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Chandler, Arizona contacted our Pastor and asked "What can we do for you?". They stayed overnight with some of our families and yesterday painted the inside and outside of our church. Today they put on a mini-concert while leading worship in Sunday service. I was moved to tears (that's not easy) by several of their songs. Their WebSite is at: Cornerstone Christian Fellowship

May 21, 2001

It's been a long time since I've updated this...

The economy took a plunge with the dot-com bust and now it's been since last August without work. I have no truck now, was homeless all of April and God seems to not care... I haven't seen my kids for months now.

A number of people betrayed me. Didn't have any choice in most cases. It confuses me when I hear that God is so "Loving" yet doesn't seem to care about how things make me feel any more that my alcoholic and abusive father did.

I'm now in a homeless program. If I can get a job I can stay in the program. There was 1 month to do that, of which 3 weeks have already passed without a peep of interest. Don't know what I'll do next week. This "Trusting in God" is getting decidedly dicey...

October 31st, 2001

   I don't even know how to begin. My Career in computer support gone with the tech/dot bomb, my Ex-Wife filing a false police report saying I had assaulted her (I had blocked her punch), the Orange County, California DA's office garnishing my pay and then adding court orders for health insuranc thus destroying me financially... even unto homelessness, vicious betrayal by a roommate, and I haven't seen my kids since Father's day (over 3 months)

   All that since Y2K

   Then September 11th...

   So now I have serious misgivings, to say the least.

   Starting with the DA's office. Do they bother to see if adding court ordered medical insurance to the maximum garnishment just might put someone on the street? Not in my case. Guess it's just not their job.

   The Ex-Wife. Why not lie about an assault? She lied about her marriage vows, her weekend in New York with Shlomoh Sherman, every time she said she loved me, and when she pretends to be a religious person every Sunday leading worship.  Of course I don't really think it's God's doing. The (unknamed denomination) church my EX attends has very minimal standards of conduct. Basically looking well-dressed on Sunday and singing on key is good enough.

   My Ex-Roomate? She also pretends to be a good person, too.  There are religious plaques hanging all over her mobile home (the phrase "trailer trash" might apply to her) and she lied to my children saying I assaulted her. The roomates husband, I guess comfort is more important to him than the truth or what's right. Another impressive "religious" person.

   Interesting how both my EX-Wife and the ex-roomate are "bi-polar" (the psychological illness)

   So what's happening with me?

   I don't have a vehicle now. If the DA's office should suspend my driver's license, So what?  The only ones it hurts are my kids. Now I can't tranport them anywhere. My own transportation needs are covered by my bicycle and occasionally the bus.

   I won't live in anyone else's home (and probably never again).  Between drug users and the "Mentally Ill" I've had my fill. So I have to live in my own place and the only place I can afford...  the rules are: NO KIDS or VISITORS.

   Frederick Nietzche is quoted as saying "God is Dead" He came to that belief after seeing the immorality of other Seminary students. Yes, Neitzche once believed in God and was on his way to becoming a clergyman. Alas, Frederick was brought to unbelief by being disgusted by other's hypocritical ways.  The rest of the "God is Dead" quote reads: "for the church has killed him" I wonder if my misgivings will blossom unto unbelief?

   I have a place to live and a job. My health is good. I'm riding 60+ miles a week on my bicycle. I still really love being in the worship band yet I can't sing a solo... anything that grabs me enough to want to sing it also tends to choke me up.  At this time I'm just a bit too emotionally fragile for solos.

   The first week of December I'm going to the mountains with some of my friends. Perhaps something good will come of that.

November 2nd, 2001

   Work is a real drudge. Data entry, filing, keeping the office flowing...   If it wasn't for the people I'm working with it would be really unbearable.

   Right now it's not a good time to change jobs with the war on and all the fallout of September 11th. So I must be patient (a very difficult thing for me) and not get too discouraged.

   It's really hard considering I don't see any way to restore what I so wish I had back, my children.

   So this Web site will serve as a memorial to what used to be.

November 13th, 2001

   Real bad news today. Life just keeps on getting better each day.

   Just bought a cell phone yesterday. If the bad news plays out the way I fear it will it won't be long 'till I'm homeless again. Won't that be a riot... homeless with a cell phone. I bought the phone to help with the seeing my kids.

   Just got my PC loaded with Windows NT. Should be happy but why bother? If I care about anything it is used to hurt me.

   

November 18th, 2001

   I decided to take out the reference by name of the denomination my EX attends. They may quite honestly not know what she is really like. She fooled me for 9 years.

November 22nd, 2001

   Today I ate Thanksgiving dinner over at Pastor Paul's house. Then Pastor Paul, his brother Tim, and I took a twelve mile bicycle ride. We went to a large park (half dozen square miles) rode around a bit there, making it home as the street lights were coming on. Then we had dessert. Several desserts.

   After a traumatic day of trying to get my cell phone initialized last night at 8pm it worked. Used up only 95 cents of the $15 starter card... and I've got another $50 dollar free one on the way. The phone has text messaging, which is internet e-mail. E-mails cost only a nickel to send so I send lots of e-mails.

   Tomorrow I'm going to give my bicycle some needed mechanical attention, do the library (Internet) and grocery shopping. It may be the traditional first day of the Christmas shopping season (and the biggest shopping day) but that's one tradition I'll pass on. I even know some men who are going shopping, for hardware, tools, and bicycle stuff but it's still shopping...

   I'm a bit more cheery now. If all goes well I'll see my kids this weekend. That is what cheers me the most.

November 24th, 2001

   Saw my kids for the first time since Father's day (June 17th). It was rainy so we didn't do much beside take a quick ride on our bikes (Charis Rollerbladed) to a nearby donut shop. We had to wait there for quite a while as the rain started really falling hard. Didn't mind, though. Was a perfectly good excuse for hanging out longer.

   Yesterday I'd intended to go to the library. The library was closed when I got there for Thanksgiving. So I ended up going to a nearby wildlife reserve and mountain biked for almost 15 miles. It's really great to have that much stamina.

December 5th, 2001

   I'm going to take a break for awile from church and christians. In the last 2 years christians have gossipped about me, one spit in my face, one told lies to my kids about me, another told lies to the police about me, and just this weekend one several times said insulting things to me and when I told him I was annoyed he started talking loudly about how he doesn't loose fights.  The old saying goes "The louder they talk, the harder they fall"  Trouble is, he's the breadwinner for his family and one shouldn't hurt children, even indirectly.

   Wonder if he treats his kids that way. Wait, I've heard him verbally abuse his kids. Reminds me of that person who begat me.

   This weekend was good, except for the one individual. The air was crisp and cold, the lakes, rocks, trails, woods and waterfall were awesome. The cabin, roomates, and food were great. Alas, that one individual. Wonder if god blessed him.

   I brought home a rock about the size of a cantalope. It's shaped like a pyramid and made of granite. A little piece of Forest Home.

   Also brought home a CD. It's a tribute album to Keith Green by 12 different "alternative" bands, which means metal, rap, hip hop, and whatever else is wild and fun. The interesting part was reading the blurbs each group wrote for the liner which told of influence by and admiration for Keith Green.

   I won't see my kids Saturday as I'd planned. I have to work.  Somehow a phone call just won't be the same. I wonder if atheists feel less pain when they don't see their kids.

December 9th, 2001

   Didn't get to see my kids this weekend. Christmas is going to be really fun this year. Yeah, one non-stop warm fuzzy.

   Skipped church today. Haven't missed church for years. I really need a break.

   I rode my mountain bike 25 miles. Went to Fairview park in Costa Mesa. Tried a performance aid called Creatine. It might have been me, the stuff seemed to have no real good effect. I'll try it again some other time.

December 15th, 2001

   Another weekend. In one way I prefer working, even as dull as that is to having time off with nothing to do.

   My I've become the dismal one lately. I read back through my journal and since Y2K I haven't been at all fun to read anymore. Wonder if it's permanent.

   And what to do about Christmas? My kids got very little from me last year because I was so impoverished. I want to do better this year but it's all I can do to stay sheltered and fed. Life is good. Whatever.

December 29th, 2001

   I went to one church service since the first of December. The same individual that ruined my mountain trip walked up behind me and "playfully" put a choke hold on me. He was damn lucky I thought it was a friend horsing around.

   Haven't seen my kids since the 24th of November. I'm worthless as a provider or father so perhaps it's better this way. Perhaps if thier mother sleeps with enough "good" churchgoers she can get a daddy for her children.

   Won't be long untill the OC DA catches up with me and I end up homeless again. So I guess it really doesn't matter.

   I'm not quite at the point of saying "the hell with God" but who knows if tomorrow might be the day.