Dear Dad:

Thanks for letting Puff Daddy come over! At first he was quiet and reserved. Actually (I kinda hate to admit this) Mackie and I thought he was our new boy toy. We all went outside to pee, and, well, Puff and I kept running around and around the yard, even though it was raining a lot.

Did you know that when it rains, the ground gets wet? And dirt isn't just dirt anymore. It's squishy, like poop. Mom kept talking about drowned rats or something like that. Then she took Puff and gave him a bath. (We stopped thinking about him as a boy toy, because he smelled like juniper.)

Anyway, this morning Puff and I were playing a lot. Every once in a while we'd do a kamakazi attack on the Old Man. We went outside again and, yes, Mom must have been a little mad because she started talking about those drowned rats again. I just don't understand! I haven't seen any rats around our yard anywhere, and I have no idea what she's talking about. (Neither does Mackie and, of course, Puff's clueless.) If you can shed any light on the matter, we'd be ever so grateful.

Puff says, "Hi." He wants to write to you, but we have to teach him some things first, like how to go up and down the steps, before we can tackle writing letters and using a computer.

In the meantime, I'm going to keep trying to get the other dog to come out of the mirror and play with us. (Did I tell you about him?) I bark at him and he barks at me. I wag my tail and he wags his. But he doesn't come too close. I'll win, though. Trust me.

Love,
Sluggo