I met my husband in 1965.
He was the youngest of a
Family of four sons.

   At the time that I met him
He was living with his brother
El and wife, Sandy and their 2
Children.
   El was a dedicated husband 
And family man, a hard worker
And a wonderful person all around.

   This was to change. I think it was
Around 1970 he discovered his wife
Was having an affair. The marriage
Suffered, but he so loved Sandy that
They stayed married, and moved to
Another state to begin again.
   It was around this time of relocation
And being away from the closeness of
His mom and three brothers that he began
To drink.
   Then he discovered once again that his
Wife was having affairs. This time he
Divorced her and began drinking more
And more, because she left and took his
Children with her.
   For the next five years or so he managed
To continue working, found someone to
"care for" and moved back to his families
state.

   By 1985 he had pretty much lost his will
To work because of his love of the booze.
He would sit around the house all day drinking
Until he fell asleep for a couple hours and
When he awoke would begin drinking again.
   Slowly this tall (over six feet) handsome (he
Had blond hair and hazel eyes), hard working
( he ran a company as manager) man had become
a dedicated 24/7 alcoholic with no desire to change.

   The man that used to have a couple drinks or
Beers after work now was downing up to a half
Gallon of vodka a day, sleeping and waking round
The clock.

   His appetite died. He would buy a small "grinder"
(sub sandwich) and get two meals out of it. Or he
would have a slice of cold pizza, left from one with
8 slices, over a three day period. His weight dropped
from around 200 to the low 100's.
   His height shrank to barely six foot, and slowly he
Developed physical problems as the alcohol attacked
His organs.
   We have no clue what kept him alive after 1995 or so.
His entire body was so permeated with
Alcohol he was almost embalmed!
   Slowly though since then he became
Unable to clean and do normal daily
Things.
   His "trusty companion" dog messed
On every square inch of the floors in
The house, on the carpets, chair etc.
   El walked in it until his socks, not
Changed in who knows how long were
Totally crusted in the dog's fecal matter,
And his pajama's and robe were also
From sitting or lying in it.
   The smell in the house was so bad we
Could not stand going inside for more than
A couple minutes's, gagging, the entire time.

   In 1996 the state began to give him some
Help as far as paying bills and taking him
To the store, but NO ONE did anything to
Get his living conditions cleaned up or him
Cleaned up.
   His family was powerless to do anything.
El was determined and hard headed and as
Far as doing what HE wanted and HE did 
Not want help at that point, and no one could
Legally do it, AT THAT TIME.
   One month ago however, when he could no
Longer walk to go to the store, they finally
Put him into the hospital against his will.
   They put him on nasogastric feedings to get
Some nourishment into him and to keep him
Alive they had him on oxygen.
   However, there was so much alcohol in his
Bloodstream they could not do it. 
   They decided to do a complete blood 
Transfusion as the last hope.
   El refused citing that he was a Jehovah's
Wittness (He was  Baptist converted to Catholic).
   We had called for a compancy hearing set
For next week to force him into the transfusion.

   It was too late. Last night, July 20th, 1999, he
Passed away in the hospital.

   In memory I prefer to see the man I knew him
To be. Strong, healthy, dedicated husband and dad.

   However I also have to remember the brother-in-law
He was yesterday to remind myself, and YOU that 
It can, does and will happen to many people that now
Think they are "social drinkers" or someone that just
"gets drunk on weekends".
    Please, look at yourself, your private lives, your
Ancestry. Are you a prime target? Heading that way?
I hope not. 
   If you see any of the signs developing, I pray
You will seek guidance or help from someone.
Or call your local AA as soon as possible.